What Comes Next | Teen Ink

What Comes Next

June 5, 2012
By Anonymous

Compared to any other town in the country, Belle River, Iowa is an ant. Surrounded by a few one-field family farms and a string of windmills, the middle consists of 400 people who each know the names of the other 399. The high school is within walking distance of every house, and the grocery store, where most of the students work, is right next to it. Belle River is the kind of town where everyone who lives there knows you, but the rest of the world has no idea you exist. People rarely make it out successful or famous. Once, a few decades ago there was an author that sold her books in the metro area 100 miles east, and last year, Justin Bieber drove by on his tour bus for some gas, but that’s all the attention the town ever gets. It’s about time that someone made this little town known.
The day started out like any other. Danielle’s little, box, alarm clock shouted in her sensitive ear at 5:30 in the morning. The sun was just coming over the horizon, as it was already June. The days were longer, and she had more time to train; everything was perfect. She smacked the clock with her muscular arm and one eye opened, with a deep sigh, she thought out loud, “It’s all going to be worth it”, a long pause for a stretch across her bed, which she was growing to be a little too big for, “I can sleep later.” She slid out of her warm bed and stumbled down the hallway to the top of the stairs. Here, she opened her mother’s door to wake her up and let some light in; otherwise there was no way she could legally get to morning practice in the next town over. Her suit, still damp from the workout she had completed only nine hours earlier, hung loosely over a sink in her laundry room. She squeezed into it, “I’m going to need a new one of these soon,” she says, seeing that it’s stretched out to be nothing more than a drag suit. Danielle is one of those special kids who found her talent and purpose early in life. She started swimming at the age of three, and was winning everything by the age of seven. Even getting her name in the paper a few times, this was really no big feat. This past winter, down in Austin, Texas, for the Junior National swim meet, Danny qualified for the Olympic trials. The meet was to be held in Omaha, Nebraska in the summer. Her whole family is so proud of her, which really only includes her mom, because she’s all Danielle has left. But their relationship is unlike any other. They wholly support each other, and are more like friends than mother and daughter. After a silent drive across the river to the only long course (50 meter, Olympic size) pool in the area, Danny exits the car with a smile on her face as she sees Coach Bowman approaching the door just ahead of her. Coach, short, bald, and buff, is her second favorite person in the world. He’s been with her since the very beginning, knows how her body ticks, and is sacrificing a lot of time to help her train for the meet. She felt great in the pool that morning; each stroke catching the water perfectly, with elbows high and her kick strong. Coach Bowman stood above her, examining every detail. He thought to himself, Man, this girl has really come a long way. He is so proud to be her coach and loves to see her light up when she succeeds. At 7:50, after forcing countless strokes of butterfly, a nice cool down and a hearty breakfast at Perkins intoxicate Danny’s mind. A quick change and phone call to her mom are all that are in between this last 25 and satisfying her hunger.
Back at home, after a short power nap, the summer school session begins. No, Danny doesn’t go to an actual school, she’s homeschooled. Sitting in a desk at school made her anxious in grade school, so her mother signed her up for classes online. Now she’s on track to graduating a year early, some colleges have contacted her too and offered some pretty hefty scholarships. Sometimes she does miss it though, seeing all her friends and hearing all the gossip. But ever since she qualified for the trials last winter, people have treated her differently. Not badly, they just see her as a celebrity, not a normal, small town girl who works hard and just happened to achieve something amazing. Most people don’t even understand how hard she works, they think it’s so easy to just be good a swimming. But she’ll never say anything, losing a friend wouldn’t be worth the words. With a swift arm motion and a strong, black, hair binder, Danny’s thick, blonde, chlorine damaged hair is up in a ponytail. Her favorite baseball hat, a Titlist one that her father had given her, sits perfectly on her head so the pony tail can stick through the hole in the back. The sun is out, so she grabs her sunglasses and skips out to the trampoline in her large back yard, and does her assignments on a laptop. No she didn’t buy it at the local Radio Shack, there’s no such thing, almost all of their possessions have been ordered online. But she’s just a teenage girl, so obviously Facebook has to be opened first. “What’s this?” she questions, “A message from…” the page is loading slowly on her dinosaur of a computer, “Oh! Ashley, (her best friend since 2nd grade) ‘Good luck this summer Danny! I’m rooting for you! Let’s hang out when it’s all over, miss you! Xoxo.’ Well that’s nice,” she actually thought it to be sort of weird because it’s been a few months since they last talked, but at least she had something to look forward too when the season ended, right? “Now back to business.” As Danny laid on her stomach with her legs sprawled out and worked diligently at her AP Statistics homework, her mother peered at the large glass window in the living room with bleary eyes and a proud smile. If only you knew how much you’re loved Danny, even if you couldn’t swim, you’d be just as successful, you’d make this town known because you shine so brightly. Sometimes she wondered if Danny thought this would go on forever, what would she do if something were to happen? She doesn’t think Danny could accept it, that she might go insane. Danny must have felt her looking at her because she looked up and waved. Her mother just waved back with a casual grin on her face and turned back to the morning news, where a broadcast from the highway they were on that morning is showing remains of an devastating accident. “I pray to God that this never happens to us, and I thank Him for keeping us safe,” little does Danny’s mother know, that is the exact opposite of what will happen.
It’s now 3:00 and Danny goes through her pre-practice ritual and packs her bag. “Protein bar, check; Gatorade, check; towel, check; cap and goggles, check. Awesome, Mom?! Can drive this time?” Danny called up the winding stairs. She had just gotten her permit card and loved to drive everywhere, when tiredness wasn’t a liability of course.
“Yep!” she responds lightly, and with one finger pointing up and out, “To the high- hold on,” A dainty ring followed by two vibrations comes from the end of a charger at the nearest outlet.
“Honey, Bob just texted me saying he’s running really far behind today with the other groups practices, and is wondering if you can just do an hour of dry land on your own?”
“Well I guess,” Danny shrugs and looks down and to the left, a little disappointed, “I mean, is there no way he can make it?” A change from the normal routine makes her anxious.
“Sorry babe,” a small shrug, “But hey, you deserve an easy night! Let’s do something,” her mother says, knowing exactly how she feels. She takes two steps towards her daughter, who’s leaning against the fridge next to the garage door and pulls her, excitedly, into a warm hug.
“Uh, I dunno, I’d rath-” she’s cut off.
“Oh! How about that new yogurt place down by the mall? What’s it called…? Go-Yo’s?”
“It’s Yo-Joe’s,” Danny is a little annoyed, “And I’d rather stay home, go for a run. Maybe I’ll start making a packing list…” her voice trails off, and her mother realizes she should just be left alone. I’ve never seen her so disappointed about missing practice before, I’ll keep an eye on her tonight, the suspicious side of motherhood comes out. On the other hand, thousands of rapid thoughts race through Danielle’s mind. Is this going to mess up my training? What if this screws up my final race? Oh my gosh is this going to be the reason I don’t make it? Will all my work go to waste? What should I do? Should I work out? How intensely? AAHHHH! “I’m just, um, going to run my usual route around the edge and then do my shoulder stretches,” the words come out of Danny’s mouth a little fast, and make her mother a little uncomfortable, as does the clap of thunder that follows. No one had noticed the sky get cloudy in the two minutes they were standing there.
“Okay, are you sure?” Danny nods. “Well, be careful, and hurry back. I don’t like you running in the rain.”
“Mhmm,” with that she was out the door, iPod in hand, and volume turned up to block out the terrifying thoughts.
Not too long into the jog, Danny starts sprinting. She doesn’t know why, but she starts thinking about her father. How he was able to make her smile whenever something went wrong, no matter how stubborn she was. How his last words to her were ‘Do what makes you happy Danny.’ The way he looked on the hospital bed the next day, her tenth birthday. Five years later, she hasn’t thought about it since. She thinks about mistakes and sacrifices she’s made, that seem to overpower all the good times and feelings she’s experienced. All she wants is to be good at something, to mean something to someone. She wants the world to know what she’s gone through, how hard she’s worked, how much pain she’s endured. Emotions overwhelm her, and she just cries. She cries harder than she ever has before, but keeps running. Her shoes are pounding heavily on the gravel shoulder of the road. Rain starts to fall from the thick skies, and the drops are heavy on her worn shoulders. She forgets about her mother’s wish and keeps going. With arms pumping wildly, legs red from the wind, ankles sore from the uneven rocks, and clothes soaked with cold, sharp drops of rain, Danny is a mess. All the poor girl wants is a hug from a friend and a bed to rest on, but she has to keep going. She has to prove, even if just to herself, that she’s strong enough. The first mile is nearly finished, four more to go. She’s sobbing now, legs moving faster than they ever have before, her music turned up even louder, so she can’t hear the rapid thunder surrounding her. Her neighborhood disappears completely behind her and farmland comes into view, a blurred view. She looks down and can feel the road get slick underneath her customized Saucony running shoes. The sky is an eerie green now; she frantically looks up at a fork-like flash of lighting, then out in front of her, only to see a large truck driving in the opposite direction as she is running. It’s out of control, swerving all over the road, trying to gain traction. She tries to dodge it, but she’s become too weak, a deer in headlights. It’s too late.
As her eyes blink open, Danielle moans and shakes her head, which creates a hard pounding and she decides against doing it again. The only word she can muster the strength for is “Hello?” Confusion covers her like a blanket. “What’s going on? Wh-where am I?”
“Honey,” she can tell her mom has been crying by her red nose and eyes, “Honey, you’re in the hospital. When you were running, a truck, uh, a truck hit you. Everything’s going to,” she stifles a cry, “going to, to,” a sniffle, “be okay.”
“My head hurts, and I’m thirsty,” Danielle closes her eyes and tilts her head back against the soft pillow. What the heck happened? Why can’t I move anything? Oh no…
“Oh-okay sweetie, I’ll get the doctor,” her mom booked it out of that room and was back in an instant with a tall, lanky man next to her.
“Hey there champ!” I guess I already have a nickname, thought Danny as she fakes a small grin. The doctor continues, “You took quite the spill last night, do you remember what happened?”
“No, I don’t. I mean besides an enormous pickup truck coming straight at me, I don’t remember anything at all. Am I going to be okay? What’s wrong? How bad is it? Can I swim?” the questions just kept rolling off her tongue, but stopped when she got chocked up and tears welled in her eyes. Seeing that she was very upset, the doctor explained a little more quietly the predicament she was in. The whole room was silent. Everyone could hear the breath leave Danny’s lungs as she processed the new information. She had expected a better answer than what she got; she never thought this would happen to her, but then again, no one ever does. Her mother had to leave the room because she couldn’t stand seeing the disgusted look on her baby girl’s face.
“I want to see my coach, is he here?” Danny swallows back a cry and tries to sound confident. The doctor lowers his head and walks to the door. With a small nod of the head, he signals Bowman that Danny is ready for him. He’s been more of a wreck than her mother. He didn’t sleep for one second last night nor has he sat down or stopped pacing. He’s been like a father to this kid for the last five years, watched her grow into an amazing person and athlete. He stops at the door and lets the doctor walk away. He takes one look at her mangled body, stitched up from the surgery that removed all the metal and his arms fall to his side, limp. He feels as though he’s been kicked in the gut, breathless. “I’m sor-”
“Don’t,” he stops her, and rushes to her side to scoop her into a big bear hug. They both start weeping as Danny tries to lift her arms to hug him back, but she’s unable.
“I, I can’t lift them.”
“I know, I know. But you will. It’s all going to be okay, it’s going to be okay, okay?” he speaks quickly so she doesn’t have to hear his voice break.
“Uh huh, what am I going to do? I can’t swim!” Danny’s shouting between breaths now, her voice cracking, “I can’t do ANYTHING, my life is over! Everything I’ve worked for, gone. I. Have. Nothing.”
“No, no that’s not true sweetheart. We’re all here to support you,” her mom walks in as Bob says this and agrees with a forced grin, as she’s still a quite upset. But she tries to be strong for Danny’s sake, who’s going to need a strong shoulder. Danny takes a few deep breaths and tells them she’d like to sleep, and be alone. After a kiss on her fore head each, Bob and her mom leave her to contemplate her thoughts.
As she falls asleep again, Danny realizes all she’s been blessed with. I’m still alive for starters. She realizes that it’s not the end of the world, that she’d have to stop swimming sometime anyways. But that doesn’t mean it has to be now! She gets mad, specifically at the truck driver for hitting her. But then thinks about something her father used to tell her, ‘If you truly love something, then let it go. If it comes back to you, embrace it. But if it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be’. I guess that’s what I’ll have to do with swimming for a little while. But I AM going to go to the Olympics, just, not this year. People can come back from this kind of injury right? Paralysis isn’t always permanent, right? Right.



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