Love Cycle | Teen Ink

Love Cycle

March 11, 2022
By lupe-111, Santa Ana, California
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lupe-111, Santa Ana, California
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Author's note:

This is to anyone mourning the loss of their true got it...

                                   CHAPTER 1 



     Students sit in a math class, boredom fills the air, not for Monica she sees it as a time to imagine what he is doing. Next door is Xavier she imagines him focused and actually working unlike her. As she is about to start with the work the teacher catches her looking into space.

     “Senorita how about you stop fantasizing and you actually do work,” Mr. Lopez says.

     “I was about to sta-” 

     “Sure you were” He cuts her off.

     Why doesn’t he just leave me alone?

     She begins to work as some of her classmates slightly giggle. She rolls her eyes. The bell rings. 


     “Don’t forget about the homework!!” Mr. Lopez yells across the hallway.

     Does he always have to do that?

     Monica walks alone through the halls. She goes down the stairs, she finally makes it to the cafeteria after getting pushed around by what seemed like almost everyone.

     One day I might just push back. Ever thought of that?

     She makes it down waiting for her friends to come down. She stands with one of them. After what seemed like ages the other three finally make it down.

     “You guys won’t believe what happened during math,” she exclaims.

     Before she gets a chance to explain, there he is. Xavier. He has black curly hair that sits there perfectly it even moves as he makes it down the stairs, his brown eyes shine in the sun, and of course, he’s wearing a black sweater with his cacky colored pants.

     OMG OMG he’s coming this way!

     His friends laughing and slightly pushing him.

     Why are they doing that?

     Xavier smiles, she smiles as well because she knows he has a beautiful contagious smile hiding under the mask. Xavier and his troublemaking friends walk between Monica and her friends.

     “What was that all about?” Monica’s short black-haired friend Victoria asks.

     “I don’t know they’re just weird I guess” Monica responds while checking her phone.

     “You know you enjoyed that. Especially the pushing towards you” Victoria says 

     The rest of Monica’s friends agree. They walk to the lunch line laughing and talking. They talk about what had happened in their class before lunch. They’re still laughing as they get their food. For lunch, there is some mystery mac n cheese Monica wrinkles her nose in disgust and gags. Monica throws all the food in the trash but keeps the juice. 

     After a while, Xavier comes by again. His friends follow along trying to look their best and be cool as they think they are. Xavier goes to the lunch table where they usually sit. You have to go up two steps to get to the lunch tables. He misses a step as he turns and slips.

     “What a dumbass…You good tho?” asks his friend Miguel.

     “Yeah I’m fine it was nothing,” he responds with embarrassment

     He stands up quickly looking around to make sure nobody saw as he pats his clothes down to act normal. He turns in her direction and there Monica was glancing in that direction.

     Oh sh*t, she probably saw me fall.

     She looks away quickly trying to not make it obvious that she was looking. She knows he caught her looking but she didn’t want to make him feel embarrassed.

     “You guys, we should play Uno,” says Monica trying to erase that from her memory.

     “Yeah!” responds Victoria.

     As Monica shuffles the colorful cards she starts to giggle at the thought of him missing the step and slipping. Her thoughts came to an end.

     “What you laughing about?” asked Erika as she fixes her glasses.


     “We all know you saw Xavier fall” responded Monica’s twin Maribel.

     “Stop cause that was hilarious,” said Pahola Monica’s childhood friend.

     “C’mon guys don’t be mean” Monica snaps back passing out the Uno cards to her friends. They play and they begin to get competitive. Three of them only have one card left and as the game gets intense. Ding! Ding! The annoying bell rings and kids begin to hurdle and run.

     As she walks by herself to her sixth period she realizes that she doesn’t talk to him. Like at all. She somehow feels like she’s met him somewhere before. Possibly in a past life.

     I’m delusional he probably thinks I’m just another weird girl at school.

     She makes it to her sixth-period class. Exhaustedly she goes through the door wanting to exit right away. 

     I hate this. Why can’t I just go home?

     Time passes as the teacher takes up half the class time just talking. He then says that they will be continuing the story from the past week.

     Are you serious this book is so boring especially since we have to write about it afterward? 

     She puts the backpack on her lap and takes out the book. She opens it to the correct page and the narrator begins reading. A few seconds pass she feels boredom enter her mind. She starts to daydream about him.

     I wonder if he has a girlfriend. I wonder if he’s at least thinking about me. Mmm, probably not he doesn’t even know I exist. Actually, I wonder what he’s doing right now.

     Xavier shook his foot in his sixth-period class. The teacher talked about partnering up with someone to work on a worksheet about the French and Indian War.

     Who should I work with if only she were here. She probably doesn’t know me. She probably thinks that I’m a clumsy idiotic boy.

                                   CHAPTER 2


     The next day Monica is walking to her math class when suddenly someone appears out of nowhere and they bump into each other she doesn’t realize who it is until she looks up to see his face. Xavier. She bumped into Xavier. She turns light pink with embarrassment.

     There’s no way out of everyone why did I have to bump into him.

     Her. Why did I have to bump into her I don’t want her to hate me I don’t want to make an enemy.

     She enters math class and she couldn’t stop thinking about him, he couldn’t stop thinking about her they didn’t know each other but they felt familiar. As he thinks of where he could know her from, his girlfriend comes along. Slim with short light brown almost blonde hair. Something Monica desired but felt like she could never achieve.

     “Who are you thinking of,” she asks.

     Why can’t she just leave me alone?

     “I’ll ask you one more time…who?” she says.

     He smiles at the thought of it, his girlfriend feels threatened “So are you gonna tell me who this skanky b*tch is?”

     The teacher; tall, loud, and with brown hair enters and everyone settles down and speeds to their seats. Everyone follows the teacher with their eyes.

     Xavier’s friends go up to him. They know how violent she can be as they’ve seen him with bruises before. Purple bruises on his arm, red marks on his face from slaps, and some scratches here and there all noticeable during pe.

     “She was about to blow up and go crazy,” one of his friends says.

     “That was a close one,” Xavier says as he nervously giggles. He slowly takes out his notebook and pencil as his friends stand around him and some sit on top of their desks.

     “So are you gonna tell us who you bumped into in the hall? Or…” another one of his friends asks.

     Oh god, they saw… why?

     “You looked happy to bump into her… it’s been a while” Miguel says.

     “We miss seeing you happy and laughing enjoying your life,” his other friend says.

     “Yeah!” Miguel exclaims.

     “Yeah I know but I don’t know what she would do if I end things with her,” Xavier says slightly shaking his head. After he had opened up to her she would use everything he expressed against him when he acted a certain way she would tell him things like that’s why your dad doesn’t talk to you anymore or that’s why he’s going to leave you.

     “You need to leave her she’s been draining you lately, you look tired every day and your smile is being wiped from your face,” Miguel says as he looks down in disbelief.

      “Okay guys save it for lunch…start with the lesson,” says Mr. Jones knocking on the boy’s desks.

     Xavier tries to forget about the girl from the hall. He just can’t. After that boring class, it’s finally time for lunch he feels happy. 


     After a few weeks of talking, she sends him a text message.

Monica: good morning :)

Xavier: Hi

Monica: come to the library after school

Xavier: Okay 💯

     Where is she I hope I didn’t make her wait a long time?

     On his way there he bumps into his girlfriend. She smiles ear to ear. He rolls his eyes.

     Why is she here?
     “Where are you going?”

     “Nowhere, you?” he responds as he scratches his neck.

     “Okay, whatever I’m just walking to the restroom” she replies.

     “Bye,” he says.

     He waits a little bit and walks into the library. Anxiously he keeps wiping his hands on his pants and finally opens the door and there she was. Monica sitting at one of the tables waiting for him.

     Gosh, why am I so nervous? She looks so pretty why didn’t I choose her in the beginning?

     As he walks to the table he notices something. Monica was smiling you can tell through the mask, something his girlfriend never used —she was ignorant. Monica’s gorgeous smile had faded away.

     What? Why? Why is her smile gone did I make it disappear? Does she not want to see me? What did I do?

     He keeps walking like nothing and that’s when Monica points. He turns to look in the direction she pointed, there he finds his girlfriend fuming you can tell she was pissed. She clenched her fists and grabbed her hair, her white skin turning red in anger. He knew at that moment she was going to do something to Monica. 

     “No don’t!” Xavier yells

     “Give me at least one reason why I shouldn’t beat this bitch up” 

     “You know I would never do anything with him especially if I know he has a girlfriend,” said Monica

     That’s when Xavier’s girlfriend’s friends walk in and at the same time, Xavier’s friends walk in and help carry her out.

     “I’m sorry Monica really I didn’t know she was following me,” Xavier said as he shakes his head.

     “It’s fine Xavier you don’t have to apologize it’s my fault I knew you had a girlfriend I shouldn’t have asked you to come here. This was all just a mistake it should’ve never happened” Monica says as she collects her things rapidly ready to go.

     Finally, they all got picked up by their parents. Monica walks home alone and she just keeps thinking why did things have to happen like that. Both Monica and Xavier like each other it’s very clear but nothing can be done. 

     Xavier gets home and it’s just him home alone. He finishes his work and his girlfriend comes to his house unexpectedly. She asks him about Monica and how long they’ve been talking. She gets furious and starts to hit and abuse Xavier. She goes home.

     The next day at school Xavier shows up with bruises. His friends ask him what happened and he tells them. Monica finds out what happened and she is furious because she knows Xavier is a loving person and he didn’t deserve this.

     A few weeks after the breakup Monica and Xavier are talking and begin dating. They go on the annual school trip to an amusement park. They go together and are having the best time ever. Everything is good until Monica asks to go on a ride. 

     “Xavier c’mon let’s go on this ride!!!” Monica exclaims.

     “Ummm… I don’t know it looks high up”

     He’s afraid of heights but agrees because he doesn’t want to look like a scaredy-cat. What he doesn’t know is that Monica is also scared of heights. They get in line and stare at the ride in silence. They both get on the ride scared. They’re doing fine until the ride starts to accelerate. They hold hands and they feel closer than ever. They can finally trust each other. 

     “You know Monica it’s really hard for me to open up to anyone because you know the situation with my ex,” Xavier says.

     “Yeah I know me too I feel like everyone will judge me for the things I say or when I open up about my past experiences,” Monica says.

     “But I trust you,” they both say at the same time as they turn to look at each other.

     They tell each other everything that night on that ride. They finally trust each other and feel like they’ve found “the person” they feel so in love as they share their first kiss.

                                     Chapter 3


     They’ve been dating for about 8 months now and it’s finally summertime. Their parents know each other and their parents love Xavier and Monica together. They go over to each other’s houses quite often. It’s normal for them to go over to each other’s houses and sit outside stargazing and sitting on the curb but lately, it’s only been happening to talk about Xavier’s problems and not to sit in each other’s presence and comfort. 

     This day has been great Monica and her family ate together as a whole discussing her brother’s graduation coming up. Then, Bing! Monica’s phone rings at the dinner table. She turns her phone on and opens the text message. It’s Xavier.

     Xavier 💕: hey, I need someone to talk to, can u come outside?? Please

     Monica sighs and puts her slides on. 

     Monica: okay i’m going

     “Adonde vas mija?” Monica’s mom asks.

     “Oustide, me espera Xavier” Monica replies.

     Xavier walks towards her house in the dark. “Hi, Monica…umm thank you for coming outside” He reaches for a hug.

     They hug and Monica asks “Why did you call me outside this time” she walks to the curb and sits down as she puts her phone on her lap. 

     “I wasn’t feeling like myself and I wanted to talk to you since I trust you” Xavier responds. 

     Can he tell me what’s wrong I want to go inside…it’s getting cold out here.

     He walks over to sit on the curb next to her.

     “So what’s wrong? It’s getting cold out here” Monica says as she rubs her legs.

     He takes his sweater off and puts it over her shivering body.

     “Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong I mean you look really tired and sad. Did your parents argue again?” she says.

     “Umm,” he sighs as he scratches his neck.

     Should I tell her the truth as to why I called her here?

     “Well, Monica I’ve spent a lot of time with you and”— Monica stands up quickly and takes the sweater off — I think you should go…now!" She says. 

     "What…what do you mean”

     “No please look at who’s coming in that car” Monica exclaims.

     He quickly stands up and tells her to go inside. 

     “No, I can’t…I can’t leave you not right now” Monica says.

     “I love you!!” they both say. Xavier kisses Monica “I love you never forget that!” Xavier says. 

    Xavier gets shot right in front of Monica. Monica’s life flashes before her eyes as she hears a loud bang and quickly she looks down and Xavier falls and a puddle fills the ground quickly. She yells. 

     “NOO…WHY…WHY HIM…WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN” tears quickly fall down her face as her knees hit the ground. Monica’s mother rushes out the door at the hearing of her daughter’s screams. 

     “Ay, no mija todo va estar bien como puede ser!” she hugs Monica and rubs her head. 

     “A la policia hablale!” Monica yells as loud cries follow.

     How could a moment outside go so wrong Monica asks herself? The ambulance is called and quickly arrives on the scene. Xavier doesn’t even make it to the hospital before he’s pronounced dead. He was shot right on the chest causing his heart to stop and no pulse could be retrieved. At the hospital, they collect his body and try but they can’t do anything and Xavier’s older sister tells distraught Monica that this had all happened because of Xavier’s brother who was affiliated with a gang and had left the gang and disappeared. 

     “They came after what our brother loved most. Xavier. Our brother treated Xavier as his own child I’m sorry Monica that this had to happen” Xavier’s sister Ashley exclaims.

     “Gosh, why him he was the best and most precious person I have ever met why did they have to take him from me! Why him!” Monica’s tears gush out once again.

                                    Chapter 4


     Six months later, Monica finds herself sitting on her bed crying as his death anniversary is today. She wipes her tears and changes the TV to watch a movie to distract herself. She tries to forget but she can’t. The image of Xavier laying on the floor in a puddle of blood still traumatizes her. She can’t believe that she lost the love of her life. Someone so close to her she felt she was her best self around him there was never a dull moment around him. She goes to a church ceremony for his death anniversary.

     “He was my other half someone who made me the happiest person ever. He made me feel like I was the only girl ever he made me feel like I was floating when he laid eyes on me.” Monica says as tears form. She wipes her tears.

     “El amor de mi vida he was the only person I could trust and tell everything to. Xavier didn’t deserve any of this. El me hizo lo mas feliz. You can ask anyone and they will tell you that there was never a moment when we weren’t smiling, together we were inseparable. One thing I will never forget is how he always seemed to make my day whether it was giving me flowers or simply writing me a little note he always made me feel loved.” Monica’s speech finished as she left for the restroom to let it all out.

     I need to cry…cry it all out if he was here he would want me to let it all out but I just can’t believe he’s gone.

     Monica and her twin’s quince arrives she has the best time ever. All her family is here even Xavier’s family made it. All she thinks about is Xavier, and how he’s gone. She wears a necklace with a picture of them at Disneyland so she can feel him close.

     “It’s time for the brindis”, announces the DJ.

     Monica’s parents go up and say their speech, Monica’s speech gets interrupted by Xavier’s parents they give her a box that has all of Monica’s favorite things, photos, and a memory book that Xavier had made. There were things written in that he and Monica had talked about, especially everything about their future together.

     “Gracias!” Monica says to his parents as she cleans her tears.


              “After all you were supposed to be here…”

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