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Chipped
January 21, 2014
Summary:
Kelcie Day has a normal life, until she is taken by the government and forced to do things she never wanted to do. Kelcie is forced to take a micro-chip that will completely control her mind.
DaisyLetItGo
Chipped
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This book has 2 comments.
I want to start off by saying I loved your story and I thought it was very creative but if I may, I want to give you a few pointers. At the beginnig of the story you switched from 1st to 2nd person and I got a bit confused, and I also I got lost between paragraphs, but all you need to do to fix that is to seperate the paragraphs when it is going into another perspective. Finally, I saw a few grammatical errors but that was it. I think you could expand your story by adding to the time she had the chip inside of her ect. But overall I thought you wrote a great story! Keep posting!
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