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Santa's murder mystery
Author's note: I LOVE to write plays that are hilarious. This play is not only unpredictable but it is funny at the same time.
Act 1-Scene 1:
(Santa is on stage with Vixen and Donder)
Santa: Thank you Vixen and Donner. It looks like we’ve had another successful Christmas. In fact, I think we may have done it a little quicker this year!
Donner: (chuckling) Oh Santa, everyone knows we get quicker every year.
Vixen: Except for the year Prancer broke his leg. Was it Christmas of 1969?
Donner: No I think your getting mixed up with Christmas of 1972. Remember when Comet tried hibernating? He was so stuffed up with Thanksgiving mashed potatoes that we couldn’t even get him off the ground.
Santa: None the less, I always have a blast every year! But I’m afraid I’m getting a bit old for this job. Retirement may come my way any minute.
(Buddy, Bucky, and Nurse walk on stage)
Buddy: Joey, the cook, thought you could use some of this. (hands Santa a cookie and a glass of milk)
Nurse: I’m pretty sure Santa has had plenty of cookies today. Almost every child in the world bakes cookies for Santa.
Bucky: Actually, the reindeer get most of the sweets before Santa can get to them.
Santa: Very true. Besides, Father Christmas can always use another cookie from the cook. I’m thinking that I should take up hibernating.
Nurse: Go ahead and knock yourself out, old man. It’s a good thing you’re not allergic to gluten, but he has been having problems with bronchitis.
Santa: Nothing my super immune, immune system can’t handle.
Vixen: (unsure) OK, but let’s just hope you don’t have a severe cough attack. That’s the last thing you need.
Donner: I agree. But what’s the problem with a cookie.
Nurse: And don’t forget the milk! It’s two in the morning. Us elves and reindeer need to get to bed. We are going to start working on toys early in the morning.
Vixen: And us reindeer need to train the new incoming rookies. If any reindeer gets sick, we could always use one of the amateurs.
Santa: Goodnight! (Buddy, Nurse, Vixen, and Donner walk off stage. Santa takes a bite of his cookie and a sip of his milk. He coughs dramatically and collapses to the floor. Nurse, Bucky and Buddy walk on stage)
Nurse: Buddy what did you do?!
Buddy: Hey! It wasn’t me. (grabs Santa’s arm) He has no pulse!
Nurse: (calls off stage) Doctor, are you awake? It’s an emergency! (Doctor Alabaster walks on stage yawning)
Alabaster: What is it now? You’re a nurse you can probably handle it.
Bucky: Santa has no pulse! He needs medical attention!
Alabaster: (awake now) OK, we need to get him to the infirmary. And fast!
Act 1-Scene 2:
(Scene changes to the doctor’s office. Santa lays dead on a hospital bed. Alabaster is pacing back and forth. Nurse Icicle walks in)
Nurse: Doctor, I don’t mean to bother you, but people are crowding up the front door. They want to know how Santa is.
Alabaster: (looking down) I’m afraid to say that Santa is dead. He had a heart attack from too much coughing. He’s laying on his bed now.
Nurse: (gasps) Jiminy Cricket! Do you know how it happened?
Alabaster: Not quite, but I have a feeling the milk or cookie he was holding had something to do with it. Santa had a super immune, immune system, so he wouldn’t get a heart attack all of a sudden. The only time he ever got sick was when he had bronchitis. I have a feeling the cough attack he had must have led to a heart attack.
Nurse: (confused)I don’t follow you…
Alabaster: Never mind, I believe Santa was murdered. The whole North Pole won’t sleep until we find out who did it.
Nurse: If we set up a case with Judge Frosty well settle this case in no time!
Alabaster: (excited) Of course! Why didn’t I think of that before?
Nurse: Because you…
Alabaster: The question was rhetorical. Anyway, there is no way Judge Frosty will say no to us! We have a good case on our hands. Let’s go to his office.
Nurse: Right behind you! (run off stage. Scene changes to Judge Frosty’s office. Frosty is sitting down on a chair. Nurse and Alabaster are on stage with him)
Judge: Well I don’t know. I still am backed up on cases…and I have Buddy’s case in an hour. He keeps stealing my cookies. Get your own ya loser!
Alabaster: (irritated) Judge this is serious! Santa has been murdered, and we don’t know who the murderer is!
Judge: Big deal! At least the old fatso had all the cookies for himself!
Nurse: (desperate) Judge! All we are asking is for a jury case! Please!
Judge: (annoyed) Forget it! It was probably was Joey the Cook. Just punish him.
Alabaster: Judge isn’t that what a trial is for? To find out if someone did the crime?
Judge: (jumps up) You’re right. We’ll have a trial first thing tomorrow!
Nurse: (unsure) Tomorrow?!
Judge: Yes and recruit the reindeer to be the jury. After all, they don’t have much to do…make sure there are at least seven jurors
Alabaster: What about lawyers?
Judge: Oh they’re no big deal. Halve the elves went to law school, but they couldn’t pay to finish it. That’s why they worked for Santa!
Alabaster: What are you talking about? We don’t get paid!
Judge: (begins to shove Alabaster and Nurse off stage) What are you doing asking questions? Get preparations made for tomorrow.
Nurse: I’m pretty the jurors will be thrilled to be here tomorrow. Who knows we may have more than seven! (run off stage)
Act 1-Scene 3:
(Nurse and Alabaster walk on stage. The knock on the door of Rudolph’s house. Comet is at the door.)
Nurse: (desperate) Comet, what do you mean Rudolph can’t come to court? Every reindeer needs to come!
Comet: Sorry, Rudolph got on a sugar high, and he crashed. His nose even turned green. You don’t want jury member’s singing, “Rudolf the green nosed Reindeer.”
Alabaster: He does have a point…
Nurse: But who will fill in for Rudolph. Dasher and Dancer all ready called in for an “appointment” and Vixen says he’d rather sleep in…
Comet: Well, we can send in some of the interns!
Nurse: Interns? Aren’t they a little inexperienced in this level?
Comet: (assuring) Don’t worry it’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not like they have anything better to do. We barely use them on the sleigh, so they just sit around and eat cookies.
Alabaster: (thinking) Sounds good to me. How many do we have.
Comet: Well let’s see…Julia is on vacation. And the triplets are working at their second job…
Nurse: Second job?
Comet: Yeah they’re only here from October through Christmas. That would leave us with five interns. But I think two of them have to visit their families in some other third-world country. So I guess that gives us three.
Nurse: Great! That will give us eight! Ok, the rest of the reindeer you talk to Alabaster. To think we only needed seven and we got eight! Won’t the judge be surprised. (walks off stage)
Comet: Hey if you only need seven can I take the day off? I have a video game I need to complete.
Alabaster: (flabbergasted) Of course not! Now go get cleaned up for tomorrow! (Comet walks off stage. Alabaster knocks on Miedo’s door) Hello?
Miedo: (screams) Augh! Stay back! I have Anthropophobia.
Alabaster: I beg pardon.
Miedo: I have fear of people.
Alabaster: No need to fear I am an elf. (Miedo calms down) I believe your name is Miedo, correct? Odd name.
Miedo: Funny thing my name actually mean fear in Spanish. Kind of ironic because I have Phobophobia. Or fear of having fears. Ironic isn’t it?
Alabaster: Interesting, anyway we are acquiring jurors for the case of Santa’s murder. You are in all ways required to come.
Miedo: I can’t come
Alabaster: For goodness sake! Why not?
Miedo: Because I have dikephobia. Fear of justice. I wouldn’t survive in a courthouse. In fact, I’ve never left my house!
Alabaster: Well, you are going to get out of there tomorrow. By the way might you have pantophobia? The fear of everything?
Miedo: (laughs) Don’t be ridiculous. In fact quite the opposite, I have pantopantophobia which is fear of fearing everything?!
Alabaster: Why I say you just made that up! Just get ready for tomorrow. (Miedo runs off stage. Alabaster knocks on Elijah and Maxx’s door) Hello you must be Elijah and Maxx. You have been summoned for jury duty.
Maxx: What! WHAT DID HE SAY??? (Maxx is deaf and Elijah is blind. Elijah whispers something into Maxx’s ear) Oh why hello. I’m Maxx and this is Elijah. We’d love to come to jury duty.
Alabaster: Yes I heard that Maxx is deaf and Elijah is blind. Maxx may I ask you
Why your name has two X’s? (Elijah whispers in Maxx’s ear. Whenever anyone talks to Maxx, Elijah just whispers in his ear)
Maxx: It’s how Elijah tells me to spell it.
Alabaster: (confused) But wait isn’t he blind oh never mind. Also how can you not hear what I say yet whenever Elijah whispers something in your ear you understand what I’ve said.
Maxx: You may ask me that question, but I can ask you how many licks does it take you to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Alabaster: (confused and irritated) Well I don’t know that. I’m a doctor you know. I don’t like to eat much sugar.
Maxx: Well if you don’t answer my question I won’t answer yours. I guess the world may never know.
Elijah: We’re getting off the main subject. Maxx and I will be at jury duty tomorrow.
Alabaster: Excellent! I guess I have all the jury members! Now who knows what will happen tomorrow at the court house.
Act 1 Scene 4:
(Scene opens up to a courtroom all the members are in even the Bailiff except for the jurors and the Judge)
(worried) Alabaster, where are the Jurors and Judge Frosty? We need to start the case.
(annoyed) Like I’m supposed to know.
(stands up) I’ll be the Judge!
Sit down you dope! (Joey sits down) you’re the one who we are deciding if you’re guilty or not.
(flabbergasted) And why would that be?!
Because YOU are the cook. And Buddy the elf brought in the cookies and milk that YOU supposedly gave to Santa as a treat. Then Santa coughed and died, because of his problem with bronchitis. That is why we are deciding if you are guilty or not.
Wow, I still think your story is a little weak.
Well it’s the TRUTH
Why can’t women learn to let go?
(flabbergasted) And what’s that supposed to mean?
Remember when we dated. Worst relationship ever! That’s why you’re on the prosecution because you want me to be guilty because I broke up with you.
Wow…I’m here because I almost graduated law school. Never got enough money for college so you know…came here to get money…
(surprised) Wait a minute! We don’t get paid. Besides what University would accept you into law school.
The university of NONE OF YA BUSINESS! (Judge Frosty and the jury members walk in Elijah bangs into the wall and Miedo faints on the floor)
(annoyed) Can someone please pick him up off the floor? We’ve got a case to settle in two hours. (Prancer picks up Miedo)
Why do we need to get it done so quickly?
Because I left my water on at home. Enough questions, Bailiff!
(stands up) Oh right! All rise for the most honorable Judge Frosty etcetera, etcetera…and so on (people stand up) Ok you can all sit down (people sit down)
OK Joey is guilty case is closed…(everyone begins to stand up)
Wait! Everyone sit down! (everyone sits) Judge don’t we have to let the defendant testify first?
OH right! OK defendant you may speak…
(stands up) OK well all I have to say is that I just made the cookies and milk with tenderness and love of my heart. And only a cruel viscous monster would poison the cookies.
(stands up) You mean a cruel boyfriend like you?
Get over it Blondie. You seemed to move on pretty quickly anyway.
Order in this court!
Judge, attorney Popsicle is psychotic can I please have another attorney?
How about the jury takes a vote…we all know where this case is going anyway…
Act 1 Scene 5:
(exasperated) I can’t do it!
Dude what do you mean? What’s your problem?
I have Atychiphobia. (shakes Cupid) Do you know what that means?! I have a fear of failure. I don’t want to make the wrong decision.
Look all you have to vote is….
Wait! Don’t tell him! That would be cheating we need to let him make his own decision.
Are we allowed to tell him what he is allowed to vote?
I’m sure that would be fine
Yeah just hurry up!
Listen kid there are two decisions there is not guilty and (shouts at top of lungs) GUILTY
But wait what decision am I supposed to make. I don’t want to make the wrong one.
Listen, you either choose not guilty or GUILTY. Now don’t feel GUILTY. If you make the wrong decision. But you have a 50/50 chance to pick the right decision. So either pick not guilty or GUILTY.
Would the jury member please write on a slip of paper their name and either not guilty or GUILTY.
(Prancer looks at Elijah’s paper)
Dude, don’t cheat!
It doesn’t matter we’re all writing down the same thing…(all jurors pass their answers in and Judge reads through them.)
It looks like the decision is clear…(reads Miedo’s piece) MIEDO! Why did you vote not guilty?!
(people yell and Miedo faints again.)
Act 1 Scene 6:
(Miedo wakes up and stands up)
Miedo : Wha, what happened?
Maxx: You fainted again are you all right? (Miedo nods) good (begins shaking Miedo) Why did you have to vote guilty? Now we are going to be stuck here forever! (Miedo faints again)
Comet: (annoyed) Now look what you’ve done! This is the strangest court case I’ve ever been in!
Cupid: What are you talking about? We’ve never been in a court case.
Donner: Except for the year when someone switched to light bulb in Rudolph’s nose. It glowed yellow for a week.
Blitzen: And we never figured out that case. Just like we’ll never figure out this case. We’ll be stuck here forever
Alabaster: Priorities do differ in this case.
Bailiff: Very true. Either a changed light bulb or a murderer going loose.
Elijah: Either way, the Judge won’t let us out until the vote is unanimous. (Miedo wakes up)
Judge: (annoyed) Miedo will you please stop fainting in my court?
Miedo: (stands up and sits down in his seat) Can do, just don’t yell at me.
Popsicle: I have an idea that will make this case go much quicker (everyone becomes interested) how about we hold another vote. But this time Miedo’s doesn’t count.
Nurse: Sounds good to me
Donner: Sounds fair to me.
Joey: (stands up and stomps foot) Not to me! That isn’t fair.
Blitzen: OH who cares about you’re opinion. SOME of us want to go home. (Joey sits down)
Judge: Whatever gets me home to turn my water off.
Popsicle: (stands up and raises hand) And I’ll count the votes. I don’t want to miss my EX going to jail.
Joey: (buries head in hands) You don’t know what the world’s coming to when you can’t get a fair trial in the north pole.
Act 1 Scene 7:
Popsicle: This time we’ll do by a show of hands. All in favor of guilty. (all but Miedo and Maxx raise hands) All in favor of not guilty. (Miedo and Maxx raise hands) You’ve got to be kidding me
Alabaster: Wait let’s hear why he changed his vote. Maybe he couldn’t hear you because he’s deaf.
Maxx: I’m not deaf. I just have selective hearing…
Alabaster: That would explain why you could hear Elijah.
Maxx: I voted because I just thought it would be funny to have the Judge have a big water bill because he carelessly left the water on.
Judge: You and Miedo will pay for the bill.
(Crazy Bill runs on stage with silly string and starts to spray people)
Comet: Who let crazy bill in here?
Judge: Gurads! Take crazy Bill away. (Gurads come in and grab crazy Bill and take him off stage)
Alabaster: Gurads? (Gurads run back on stage)
Gurad John: Ok he’s all taken care of, we locked the door
Alabaster: Thank you, I have one question for you Gentlemen
John: Wait, be careful! Gurad Jay is really sensitive!
Jay: It’s ok, I’ll try not to cry.
Alabaster: (weirded out) Why are you called GURADS instead of GUARDS? (Jay runs off stage crying)
John: (sighs) Our dead secretary made a typo when writing our name tags. We are low on paper. And he died recently.
Popsicle: I’ll bet Joey poisoned him!
Joey: Nah he died because of Diabetes. In fact, he may have eaten more cookies than Santa.
Maxx: Aww man, I feel so stupid.
Elijah: Why’s that???
Maxx: (puts head in hands) Because I now have to pay for the Judge’s water bill. I’d really like to change my vote to Guilty.
Joey: Well I guess Miedo is now my favorite reindeer.
Miedo: I feel loved. OH NO! I have Malaxophobia that’s fear of love!
Judge: OK we can change you’re vote. I’m just going to check my rule book to make sure we can change votes. If so then Joey is guilty.
Joey: Do I get a say in this?
Judge: Of course not!
(end of Act 1)
Act 2 Scene 1:
Judge: (flips through book) NNNNOOOOOO!
Jay: What is it?
Joey: Are votes not allowed to be changed?
Judge: They are. But Rule 22 Line 4 states “All jurors votes must count. And all votes must be unanimous.”
Miedo: That means my vote counted.
Popsicle: But Miedo you do realize you can change your vote. (puts arm around Miedo) ONLY IF YOU REALLY, Really, really want to.
Miedo: (Popsicle takes arm off) Nah. I think you’re the one who poisoned Santa. You or Judge Frosty.
Popsicle: Judge, have the Gurads take Miedo away. He’s psychotic.
Judge: Gurads! (Gurads don’t move) Gurads take Miedo away. (still don’t move) what is wrong with you people?
John: Aww can’t we keep the little guy? He’s kinda cute in his own creepy way. Besides Jay really likes him. (Jay walks over and gives Miedo a hug)
Miedo: (creeped out) Eep! I have claustrophobia and it’s really kicking in now. (Jay stops hugging Miedo)
Nurse: We are getting off topic here. The truth is, is that we’re stuck here for a while. In that case, Jay are you feeling well?
Jay: I feel fine I…
Nurse: (whispers) Be quiet! Do you want to get out of here or not?
Jay: (drops to the floors and gasps for air) OH NO! Why must the good die young? I think I’m going to the light! Mother? Is that you?
Judge: Enough of this! Jay get up. Nurse give him some pain medication.
Alabaster: I think she left that in her off ice. I’ll go get it.
Judge: Forget it! Jay, just suck it up. (Jay begins to cry)
Donner: It’s ok He didn’t mean it that way Jay.
Prancer: (sarcastically) Way to go Frosty. (everyone starts mumbling)
Judge: (irritated, stands up) Enough of this! No more hysterics or you’ll be stuck with crazy Bill (everyone becomes silent) Now we won’t leave here till Miedo’s mind is changed.
Act 2- Scene 2
Joey: I guess we are going to be here for a while. Maybe jail isn’t so bad. I here they have a treadmill there. Maybe I can work off some of the weight I’ve gained as a cook.
Popsicle: Some weight? I think you under exaggerated.
Joey: At least its a little weight loss is more than you’ll ever reach. Did you store fat in your thighs for winter or for the whole year? You’ve got plenty to share. (Popsicle begins sobbing)
Nurse: Eek! I’m glad I’m not dating him. Wow!
Joey’s mom: Joseph Flitterbottom is that how you treat a lady?
Joey: Mom? Why are you here. Don’t you work at the South Pole for the tooth fairy.
Mom: Answer my question!
Joey: NO but,…
Mom: NO butts. One is plenty, you don’t need another one. I know Popsicle is a brat.
Popsicle: Excuse me!
Mom: She is also annoying, a little over weight, a pain in the booty, arrogant, prideful…(Popsicle sobs again)
Alabaster: Excuse me miss…
Mom: Don’t interrupt me mister!
Alabaster: I’m sorry, but shouldn’t you be getting around to a BUT soon? We want to know what your point is.
Mom: (pondering) You are right. (firm) But sonny would you sit up straight! (Alabaster sits up straight) Oye! You’d think a doctor would worry about his posture. Sorry I’m off topic. Even though Popsicle is all the things I’ve listed above, but you shouldn’t be rude to women. They are the more sensitive gender.
Nurse: (surprised) I beg pardon!
Mom: (grabs Joey’s ear) You are in big trouble Mister!
Joey: (embarrassed) Mom not in front of the jury!
Mom: You have just earned yourself a sit in the timeout chair. (grabs a chair and puts it in front of her seat) You’re in timeout for five minutes.
Mom: Sit! (Joey sits down)
Judge: Now that’s settled. We can get back to the case. But we’d appreciate no more interruptions.
Mom: (irritated) Don’t sass me boy!
Judge: Yes Ma’am.
Bailiff: (stands up) No offence, Judge, but I don’t think you’re taking us any where with this case. I’d like to be given a chance to make our time go quicker.
Judge: (Sighs) Five minutes Bailiff. When Joey gets out of timeout, and if you haven’t turned this case around. You’ll have to sit on the timeout seat.
Act 2- Scene 3:
Bailiff: Some of you may not know but I have a Master’s degree in law. Well almost had one you see I went to college but my father wanted me to be a plumber…
Judge: Get on with it, Bailiff! We don’t want to hear your sob stories…you have 4 minutes
Bailiff: (begins to worry) Anyway, all I have to say is that I think I can convince Miedo to change his decision.
Bailiff: Let’s hear your reasons to think that either the Judge or Popsicle would be the murders.
Miedo: Well you see, I am an actor…
Blitzen: (annoyed) Oh gosh!
Miedo: …I was in a play that was kind of like this trial. There was a murderer who everyone thought was guilty but one…
Donner: Well, what happened in the end?
Miedo: They argued about every point and it was like a 3 hour play…who knows how long it would have taken in real life. I mean it could have been days or…
Bailiff: (nervous) Not to bother you. But would you mind getting to the point. I have less than two minutes. Before I sit in that dreaded timeout chair.
Joey: Trust me I’m not enjoying it either…
Mom: Hush Joey, no talking in the timeout chair.
Joey: Sorry Mom.
Miedo: In the end they all voted not guilty because that one juror convinced them all.
Judge: What you are saying is that you want to prove Joey’s innocence?
Miedo: I’ll try…
Judge: Time’s up Bailiff! (Joey stands up and Bailiff sits down in chair) OK folks no more dawdling. Let’s get on with this case!
Act 2 Scene 4:
Miedo: My points are that the Judge is constantly angry with Buddy for stealing his cookies. He also gets mad when Santa’s name is mentioned. Maybe he snuck into the kitchen and poisoned the cookies because he wanted to get his revenge on the old guy.
Elijah: Hmm never thought about that. I’d like to change my vote to not guilty.
Comet: Yeah me too…
Donner: Why not? Maybe this case will go the way Miedo’s play did…I vote not guilty
Joey: This keeps getting better and better.
(Crazy Bill runs on stage) Oh not him again!
Bill: I’ve got something to tell all ya! I…
Nurse: (stands up) Hold it right there, Crazy Bill. Judge wants no more interruptions. Especially from you.
Bill: But it’s really important I…
Nurse: (furious) That is enough! Do you want to go on the timeout chair.
Bill: (looks down) No Ma’am.
Bailiff: Wise choice, Bill
Judge: Bailiff, no more talking for two more minutes. Crazy Bill please exit the court room before the gurads make you leave.
Bill: Ok…(walks off stage)
Judge: OK…we get back to the vote of four in favor of not guilty.
Alabaster: That’s correct.
John: (taps Miedo on the shoulder) Not to bother you Miedo…but half the jury is still not convinced.
Popsicle: And I’ll never be. I can’t believe we are foolish enough to let an actor be one of our jury members on one of the MOST important cases of all North Pole history.
Elijah: I don’t care what Popsicle says. I want to hear Miedo through. Maybe he’ll convince me.
Act 2 Scene 5:
Miedo: My second suspect is of course Attorney Popsicle.
Popsicle: I think you jump to conclusions quickly. Sometimes jury cases can take days. I believe in your play the characters had gone through six days.
Judge: Bailiff you can come off the chair, now. (Bailiff gets off timeout chair and sits down in normal chair) Continue Miedo…
Miedo: Very true but then why do you want to get out of this case so quickly?
Popsicle: (stands up) Because I think Joey did it.
Miedo: (stands up) And I think you did it because you wanted to get back at your EX you purposely poisoned the milk and cookies because you knew Joey would get blamed.
Elijah: I’m convinced, I’d like to change my vote to not guilty. (Jurors mumble)
Comet: It’s unanimous, NOT GUILTY (people begin cheering)
Cupid: Wait! (stands up) I didn’t vote not guilty. I still think Maxx did it. He always is so mischievous.
Maxx: (all jurors stand up) I thought Elijah did it! But he’s my friend and I didn’t want to get him in trouble.
Elijah: Thanks for staying with me pal. But I thought it was Comet and Blitzen. They are always so quiet you never can trust the quiet ones.
Comet: That’s absolutely absurd!
Blitzen: We thought it was Miedo. We figured because he’s an actor maybe he could pull this off. (Miedo faints) then again maybe he’s not kidding (Miedo wakes up)
Prancer: I thought it was the Bailiff. He seemed so eager to make Miedo change his vote.
Bailiff: (stands up) If I’ve ever been so insulted! All those hard years of work for nothing!
Miedo: I still think it’s either the Judge or Popsicle
Mom: All I think is that you guys need to work on anger issues. (everyone begins to argue)
Judge: Ugh! This is a hopeless case. Let’s just all go home! (stands up)
Act 2 Scene 6
Judge: (grabs bag and begins heading towards the door) Bye everyone
(everyone stops yelling and become silent)
Joey: (desperate) You can’t leave! We have to settle this case!
Alabaster: Let’s face it, he’s right. Whenever someone makes a good point most people change their opinion. We’ll be here for weeks if we don’t figure this out soon…
Bailiff: But that’s why we are a jury. We are supposed to have different opinions.
Miedo: We can try to settle this. We’ve got to try.
Donner: (looks at phone) Rats! This new video game just came out and it’s sold out. (begins to cry)
Blitzen: It’s ok…what game was it?
Donner: Fashionista 2 it even had a freestyle mode and everything. My mom is going to hate me for not getting it. (begins weeping)
Bailiff: I always hate to see a grown reindeer cry
Judge: (looks at watch) And who knows how much my water bill will be. Let’s face it, we all probably have places to be…things to do. We just can’t be in a jury case.
Joey: But how are we going to decide if I’m guilty or not.
Judge: You have one last time to tell the truth, did you poison the cookies??
Joey: Of course not!
Judge: WRONG! You’re guilty. Take him away Gurads.
Mom: But that isn’t fair! (Gurads begin to drag Joey away but Crazy Bill runs in and yanks the Gurads off Joey)
Bill: That won’t be necessary Judge
Judge: And why on earth would that be?
Bill: Because Santa isn't dead! (all the Juror members gasp and Miedo faints)
Act 2 Scene 7:
Alabaster: Prove it!
Santa: (from off stage) He doesn’t need to…(walks on stage)
Nurse: But how? You had no pulse.
Santa: Hohoho I’ve lived without one all my life. I guess it has something to do with my super immune system.
Judge: But why did you fake it?
Santa: Last year Joey stole all my cookies on Christmas as a joke. This year I wanted to get back at him. I played dead. Although, you all took this case quite seriously. I tried to have Crazy Bill step in a few times…but it’s over now so we can have a good laugh about this.
(all the Cast is furious with Santa)
Mom: I came all the way from the South Pole for this?
Judge: And my water bill is going to be high!
Miedo: I had to be hugged by a sweaty guy and faint numerous times for this?
Santa: Oh boy, (begins to walk off stage)
Popsicle: Oh, where do you think you’re going, big guy?
Nurse: Let’s get him. (all run off stage and Santa runs back on)
Santa: Folks, never pull a prank on any irritated reindeer or elves it can get ugly. Just remember revenge isn’t always the best way to get back at someone. (Cast begins running on stage) And I have to go, because I’m not going to be able to out run these guys. Have a merry Christmas. (runs off stage again)