Number 72 | Teen Ink

Number 72

March 10, 2011
By Oorah_Alchemist, bluffton, South Carolina
Oorah_Alchemist, Bluffton, South Carolina
0 articles 6 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
Standing between us and evil.He'll defend to the very last shell.Carnage all around but still unflinching gun blazing as he fell.The brave soldier once at Heavens gate Yells out."One more soldier reporting sir,and I believe I've served enough time in hell.


Summary:

Junia awakens to a hard rough planet where survival is for the fittest which she is not in. How to survive on a planet where every single person or number as they call it is after you for a reward? What number was she exactly? And who is that cute healer who keeps nagging at the back of her mind and what's his number?


Oorah_Alchemist

Number 72


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This book has 3 comments.


Alfee said...
on Jun. 16 2011 at 11:32 am
Alfee, Hastings, Michigan
0 articles 8 photos 6 comments
Great story :) many grammar/spelling errors, but they're overlook-able. PLEASE continue? :D

on Mar. 22 2011 at 3:38 pm
Oorah_Alchemist, Bluffton, South Carolina
0 articles 6 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
Standing between us and evil.He'll defend to the very last shell.Carnage all around but still unflinching gun blazing as he fell.The brave soldier once at Heavens gate Yells out."One more soldier reporting sir,and I believe I've served enough time in hell.

Thanks :D I'll deffinatly fix up those mistakes. Thank you for reading/ commenting too. I appreciate the tips too. ;D

on Mar. 22 2011 at 2:56 pm
Internal-Love PLATINUM, Queens, New York
33 articles 3 photos 310 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing's black or white, its all just a shade of gray---

















TI "Live your Life" ft Rihanna

i cant believe no one gave you even a snip of a comment on this story!! :O

i don't mean to be overcritical, or anything like that, but i spotted MANY spelling and grammar mistakes throughout the story. And you didn't paragraph your chapters (until chapter 3--------And I'm proud of you for that) I'm not trying to be snobby about it, but I'm suggesting that if you fix these mistakes, the story will be less confusing.

CHAPTER 4 WAS PERFECT. Paragraphed, and i only spotted 1 tiny spelling mistake which i just waved off. It was also interesting. That Craven sure is some guy.............

BUT THIS STORY HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL. You whisked me away to another planet and i actually enjoyed my visit. Just make the chapters more clear and paragraph the first 2 and "number 72" will sparkle like gold. The necklace part was definately interesting too................

And people have gotta comment on this novel, it's SOO worth commenting on!!