The Ability to Fall | Teen Ink

The Ability to Fall

July 11, 2011
By .Cheyenne. BRONZE, Sergeant Bluff, Iowa
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.Cheyenne. BRONZE, Sergeant Bluff, Iowa
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Favorite Quote:
"Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true."

-Anonymous


Author's note: My hope in the writing of this piece is that the reader may take a snapshot of the dark, seductive romance of Twilight and incorporate it with something deeper, even more dangerous than a house full of vampires readying to drain you of your blood. Take the sexiness of the mythical creatures in so many teen thriller/romance novels and put wings on them. This is what dazzles me about how this entire plot came about; it began as a Sara Dessen-y type novel, with the introduction being about normal teenage life events, but then took a dark path when she met Connor and things started spilling out. It really does marry my two favorite styles into one, and that makes me incredibly pleased. ♥

One. Two. Three. They all dropped into the water, one after the other, not time for a single breath in between. The measure of time was an inaccurate way of deciding how long I would live; my heart’s hammering beating was sure to be the last thing I would hear. I was too scared, too petrified to even wonder about where the people I cared so deeply about were, whether they were even left alive.

My breathing quickened, turning more shallow, less deep. The hyperventilation kicked in, and I soon felt the black sweeping over me, everything turning fuzzy.


I drifted out of consciousness, and into a deep, unaware, care-free sleep, freed from the havoc raging just outside my hiding place. Just behind what kept me alive. Just behind everything that mattered to me, everything that I had come to accept. It took a long time, a lot of stretching boundaries, a lot of defying normal human reactions.

While in my safe zone, away from the rampant war where every man was for himself, where no accomplices aided in the fight, I realized that I wasn’t guaranteed anything. He could have left me, waited for me to realize my true calling alone, without anyone to explain what was happening. But he didn’t. He stayed.

And that was why I loved him. More than anything in the universe. And not because it was some version of a finely-tuned love song, or some random love-at-first-sight, cliché romance novel, like I thought in the beginning. Because he was mine, and I was his. And neither of us made the conscious decision to draw the line, to stop our fling. It was a constant wave of torrential love that kept us at bay, and why I was there at that second. Fate and chance met up and forced us together, and now we were inseparable.

If you wanted to face the facts of what really happened, it wouldn’t have been as fairy-tale like. It would have been a fact of nature, one that couldn’t be helped. But, I was willing to take the story any way it was told, because it united us together. The simple story could be told in one sentence. I had been imprinted upon.

The heat radiated off of the black top road that splayed out in front of me, a constant black path leading to everywhere. That was the thing; just one road could take you anywhere, because of its connection with another road, and its connection to yet another.


Life was much like this pattern, and it was apparent that my summer would prove that to me.


Love had a little something to do with it, and the fact that someone needed me. Together, they made me want to sit down and face the facts, the cold, hard facts, or, in my case, the great facts that kept my world turning.


Love was always one of those things that made me happy to think about, at least when it was other peoples’ love. When it came to my own, it made me squirm. Sure, I’d had my fair share of boyfriends, but they were always the same type; never any variation. High school was the time to live, to be free. But, I was insistent that everything be equal and perfect; always to the point, precise, and minus all of the commitment and break up drama.

Perfectionism ran in my family, on my dad’s side anyway, and it took its hold on me even as a young child; art projects were redone until the paper was nearly torn from over-erasing, written papers were written and rewritten too many times to keep track of. I was a dedicated little scholar; school was important to me, but I was never too involved to avoid the rebellious things all teenage girls do.


Trouble decided to manifest itself early, and fate always made sure an unamused adult was just around the corner to catch me in the act of whatever it was I was doing. That was why I was always quick to doubt, but I grew out of my carefully guarded bubble and learned to trust. That was part of why things happened the way they did.


When school finally let out for the summer of my junior year, all I could think about was the freedom I had from the repetitious turmoil of high school. The girl drama was gone, the preppy cheerleaders could stop their petty little games, and the professors could stop their fits of madness and relax a bit. However, my free time was short lived, not that spending time doing what I was doing was particularly a chore.

I usually spent my summers working, trying to wedge in a few extra hours to gain a little more cash, but this summer was different. The only job I had planned for this summer was to pick up my third year of working at a boutique on West Seventh St. in San Fernando Valley, about twelve miles from my house. Then, though, everything changed, because I fell in love with a guy named Connor.

It wasn’t a matter of whether or not I appreciated him, because deep down, I knew I did, but it didn’t feel that way until much later in the summer. I was giddy with love, the feeling of having a new relationship, and I didn’t realize then that it was something more.

We’d soon meet at a party, one of the few social events that I would succumb to in that block of time.

I went with my best friend Kayla, and she and I had decided that this was going to be good for me, to get out and live a little.


I was reluctant to go, as I felt I had better things to do. Finally, though, my hesitancy fell below par and I couldn’t resist any longer. Not only that, but her constant griping got on my nerves after awhile.

She introduced me to her crowd of acquaintances --being a cheerleader, she had quite a few —and had me bored within the first ten minutes. Then, a tall, blond, well-muscled guy in khaki shorts and golf polo walked past us on his way to the drink table. Then and there, I didn’t really think much of it apart from the fact that he was gorgeous and I doubted I had any chance with him, but on his way back, he gently brushed his hand against my arm, smiling his white, gleaming smile at me as he walked away. There it was. Love at first sight.

I met up with him again in the quiet living room, away from the raging party and deep bass of the music. I could tell he was waiting for me, having known he must have dazzled me. His right leg was bent at the knee, his foot propped up against the wall and the punch I’d seen him get earlier in his hand.

He motioned for me to come over to where he was standing, that perfect face of his beckoning me. I never understood what caught his eye about me; I was normal, nothing too unique. Healthy, shiny, caramel-colored hair, hazel eyes, and a thin frame were my best qualities, but nothing else really stood out.

Once I reached him, he set his punch down on the coffee table that sat but three feet away from his leather loafer, then quietly, in the silkiest voice I’d ever heard, introduced himself to me. I must have taken a second to react because he cocked his head and gave me a prompting look that told me I should say something.

“H-hello, Connor. I’m Abby.” I answered sheepishly, my cheeks flushing red. I hoped that it was dark enough to conceal my little fit of embarrassment, and either it was, or Connor didn’t notice, because he carried on.

“I saw you, over by your friend, I’m guessing. The blond one, with the cheerleader uniform on?” he trailed, waiting for me to confirm.

“Yes, that’s Kayla. She and I have been pretty good friends since eighth grade.” I replied, all the while wishing the ground would just swallow me up and make me disappear, to save me from embarrassing myself any further.

“Anyway, I saw you, and I felt this little tug of something. I’m not quite sure what it was, but I felt like I should talk to you. There’s just something about you..” he dropped off mid-sentence, and let out a breath of warm air smelling of peppermint.

“I.. I noticed you walking over to get a drink, but didn’t think anything of it, really. Usually, guys around here don’t give me the time of day. You.. You’re so different.” I hated myself for letting that whole fact of being passed up so many times slip out, but it seemed like it just gave him something else to talk about.

“I can’t see why. You’re beautiful, smart, and you’re the first girl who hasn’t immediately gushed in front of me; most of them fall head over heels, flirting up a storm. You know, you’re pretty quiet, actually. I think I like that..” Compliment after compliment flowed out of him, and all I could do was sit there and relish in the fact that he seemed to actually like me.

“How about we go somewhere a little, well, more peaceful. I’d like to get to know you a little better.” He suggested, keeping his immeasurably serious tone level throughout the entire comment.

“Sure, I’ll go tell Kayla I won’t need a ride home from her. Meet me at the front door?” I asked, hoping I hadn’t asked too much. I was inexperienced in the art of boys, so I wasn’t sure about what to ask and what not to ask.

“Absolutely. I can’t wait to meet up with you again.” He gave me a bright smile, and it seemed as if his eyes sparkled in their beautiful existence. “I’ll see you soon, Abby.”

I gloried in the fact that he already had my name down, and just how he said it made me feel warm and wonderful inside. I headed to find Kayla, and found her straddled on the lap of a football player, flirting like crazy. The classic Kayla hadn’t changed, I saw, and I was almost disgusted.


My moment of bliss turned into a moment of mortification, but I wasn’t going to let Kayla’s provocative ways ruin my evening. I walked up behind her, and let out an attention-grabbing fake cough. She looked behind her, and shot me a huge grin.

“Abby, look who I found! It’s Noah from the high school over in Sacramento, you know? The guy who took Lauren to the dance last year, the one with the Corvette?” My face must have shown that I had much more important news to share, and that I didn’t particularly care who she was with, and hers clouded over. “What now, Abby? Can’t you just ever have fun without some kind of drama killing it? Gosh!”

“Hold up, Kayla. I’m not mad this time, so don’t draw conclusions so fast.” I hated having to draw out the time spent from Connor so long. “I’m actually leaving.. with a guy!” My excitement got the best of me and a grin spread across my face.

“You. With a guy? How? When did this all happen, and why did I miss it?” she asked, a confused expression on her face.

“You know that guy that walked by on his way to get punch, the tall, blond one that smiled at me when he left?” Her expression didn’t show any recognition, so I continued on without waiting for her response. “Well, we met up again in the living room, and he wants to take me somewhere quieter, where we can talk in peace.”

She seemed happy that I finally was getting out, going places, doing things. But then, a dark expression crossed her face. I didn’t know until later that that was jealousy.

“Well, guess you won’t be needing a ride home now, will you? I’ll talk to you later, then. See ‘ya.” She said all of this in the same, monotonous, almost-angry tone, not even looking at me.

“’K. See you.” I turned and walked away, anger suddenly flaring inside of me. I spotted Connor waiting in the door frame of the office, just outside of the entryway of the house. He smiled when he saw me heading towards him.

“Hey.” he said, his smile never leaving. Suddenly, it fell. I guessed he realized that I was angry. “What’s wrong? Is everything alright?”

I answered in clipped words. “Kayla wasn’t exactly supportive; too preoccupied with her own stupid life to care much, I think.”

“I’m very sorry. Girls will be girls, I must say.” he broke out into a fit of chuckles, which broke through my sense of being upset and even made me giggle a little. He spoke the truth, and I knew it, and just that sense of trust made me feel better.

He took my hand in his and led me outside, down the marble-like drive and through a set of Japanese maples to a silver Miata, then led me to the passenger side of the two-seater. I reached for the handle, but he caught my arm and gave me a surprised look, then opened my door for me. I could then see that chivalry still manifested itself in a few, and it pleased me.

I settled into the soft leather of the seat, admiring his everything, when I heard the slight whoosh of him sitting down. I hadn’t even noticed him crack the door, let alone start to climb into the car. Yet another attribute; he was as gentle and swift as a gazelle, but didn’t lack charm.

I realized then that I hadn’t made a list of sorts of qualities I expected from a guy. I never pondered it until that moment, never realizing I hadn’t made one, but I knew that if I had, he would have met every single characteristic there. He was perfect in every way; too perfect. It seemed so surreal.

He turned his head, and we locked eyes. His look said everything. In that one casual meet-up I felt like everything fit together perfectly, that for once in my life I could look back on this and find it easily, never wanting to stray from the peace and beauty of the moment.


The sound of the engine starting brought me back to reality, and I realized this was really happening. He smiled at me one last time, and then said two simple words. “Shall we?” I nodded, and we were off.

He drove me to a little café just off of the road where I’d planned on working this summer and parked his Miata in the deserted parking lot.

We walked into the tiny building, a bell tinkling as the door opened. Connor smiled brightly at a balding man sitting in a ratty winged chair with his feet up on top of the front desk.

“’ey Connor. How’s yer dear mother doing? I haven’t seen her in quite some time.” he asked in a heavy Irish accent. I made a point to ask him about his family later on, when we were alone.

“She’s doing well, now obsessed with gardening. Keeps her busy, and we get the pay-off at the end. I’ll have to bring you some of her tomatoes; she’s very proud of them.” he smiled again at the man, took my hand, and led me to the back of the café.

We sat in a corner booth, holes showing through and white cushion stuffing spilling out in some places. I scooted into it, and was astounded to find Connor already seated next to me when I glanced sideways.

“Wow, you’re fast!” I chided, elbowing him in the ribs. I tried to make light of our first official meet-up, and it seemed to work, because he gave me a glinting smile and started tickling me.

“Stop! Stop! I’m seriously ticklish!” I said between bouts of laughter, and he did. More quickly than I wished, actually.

“I’m very sorry, Abby.” he said, stone-faced and serious again. This just kept getting stranger.

“No, it’s fine. No need to lose your happiness over this little incident.” I answered feverishly, trying to bring the mood back around. “So, tell me about your mother’s garden. What kind of stuff does she grow, besides the tomatoes you were telling that man about?” I prompted, trying to guide the conversation so that it was about him instead of me for once.

“Oh, that. Well, she got into a bout of gardening a year or so ago that hasn’t let up; one of those phases we all go through, you know?” I nodded here, gazing at his chiseled jaw as it moved methodically as he spoke. “Well, it’s kind of gotten out of hand lately, and so I try and lightly give things away as much as possible. I’m getting really tired of radish and cucumber salad, not to mention her current fancy: turnips!” He paused here, and I couldn’t stop the laughter that came out of my mouth. I was really beginning to like him.

Suddenly, a waitress in a candy-striped apron rounded the corner, brightly asking us if we’d like anything to drink. He answered with a simple “Two Cokes, please.” and she was off again. No doubt, he’d known my favorite soda. Just another of his strange talents. Or, maybe he was just a good guesser?

I continued on with our conversation as if nothing had stopped. “So that’s why you were handing off her tomatoes on him! Who is he, anyway, if I may ask?”

“Him?” His eyes drifted over to where the man sat, now with a newspaper spread out before him on the desk and a glass of sweating iced tea sitting on the corner of it, locking it down from the breeze I suddenly noticed blew through the place. “Oh, he’s just an old family friend. He grew up with my mom, and they’ve kind of been tight ever since. I’ve always wished that maybe something could have come out of their friendship, but nothing ever did..” He stopped abruptly, getting a cast-off look in his eyes. I didn’t prod for more. Instead, I smiled at him as he talked more in his smooth-as-silk voice, realizing this was the only reaction he was going to get and becoming slightly pleased I had backed off. The waitress came with our drinks.

“Anyway, she’s been out in her garden even more lately, and I’m beginning to see some progress in her moods and such. As long as she’s got busy-work and something to keep her mind off of things, she’s a whole new women.” I didn’t dare ask about what had happened before that she’d need this kind of therapy, because I didn’t want to upset him, so instead I asked him one more question.

“Are there flowers of any sorts? My mom and I started a flower garden when I was younger, and we had every kind of flower imaginable in it.”

“Don’t get me started on flowers! I think she has even more flowers than veggies, but then again she had them well-established even before we left.”

So that was what had happened. Just like my family, his had been torn apart, too. I sucked on my straw, finally getting around to tasting the sweet liquid that I knew and loved.

I shook off the feeling of relation due to its sad note, and replied as cheerfully as I could, “I see.” His eyes changed back to sparkling green, and I continued, “I wouldn’t mind seeing this plethora of a garden sometime.” I smiled as I said this, glad I had brought the conversation back around for the second time.

“How about we plan on that for tomorrow? I’ll come pick you up at seven and see your garden, and then I’ll whisk you away in my chariot of love and we’ll take a drive to my house, where your mind will be blown when you see my mother’s gardens. How does that fit your dream of a romance novel-worthy night?” he asked, barely finishing before letting a few chuckles rumble low in his throat.

I smiled for the umpteenth time that night, and said, “That’s sounds great. Just great.”

I sucked up the last drops of my Coke, just as he finished his. He set his glass down and looked me in the eyes. “Would you like anything else before we leave?” I replied with a shake of my head. “Alright, then.”

He took my hand and helped me up out of the booth, led me over to the newspaper man, slapped down a ten, said, “Keep the change.”, and had me outside the building before I even knew my feet had hit the ground. Gazelle in the highest.

He led me to the Miata, opened my door again, and we were speeding down West Seventh just like before. He took my hand in his, his eyes never leaving the road.


We pulled up to my house, and it dawned on me that he knew right where to go without even asking me. Amazing. He got out and let me out, walked me to the door, and stopped in front of it.

“Abby, I hope you know that you’re very special. I’ve never known someone to be so amazing, and you just haven’t discovered all that you’re going to be yet. I know some things you don’t, and you’re going to turn out being really great, if it’s even possible for you to be even better.” Way to make me even more confused. He kissed my forehead, and walked slowly down the walk without another word.

I watched him walk back to his car, and he gave me one last glance before bending down and sitting down. I heard his door shut and the purr of the engine starting, and he was gone.

Something in me tore, and I could almost feel the sadness washing over me. If our separation hurt me this much, I couldn’t even begin to imagine his possible place in my future being any more important; more significant. I planned on being with him for the rest of my life, and it was such a strange feeling; it was as if I wasn’t the one making the decisions, but I couldn’t help but agree. My mind was a step ahead of me, and I was just tagging along.

I unlocked the door and walked into the blackness I was so used to. My mom was probably out with Jenny or Louise, her two best friends, like every other Friday night. I walked into the living room, set my keys on the coffee table, and sank into the leather couch. Once I was comfortable, I spoke, only to myself, in a disbelieving voice. “No way.” And I smiled.

I woke up to the sound of my mother coming through the front door; she never was the type to be able to sneak in. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked around the room drowsily, spotting her setting her clutch and keys on the kitchen counter. The clock on the stove read two thirty, slightly past her usual time to show up back at home.

She noticed my stirring, and tried to cover up the fact that she wasn’t home again by apologizing. I was used to it by then. “Abby. I’m sorry I woke you up. Anna and I went out clubbing, and I got caught up in the moment. We had so much fun..” And then the apologizing ended. This was her classic cover-up story, the one I’d heard so many times before, except I knew what she was really doing.

My mom has been extremely lonely during the past few years; when we first made my dad move out, she seemed stronger than ever. But then her perfectly composed, super-hero mom face disappeared and she turned to other men. Men I was never allowed to meet, probably for my own good, so I wouldn’t get attached, but that never excused the fact that she lied to me every time about it.

“It’s alright, Mom, just let me go back to sleep.” I tried to cover up my anger with a snuggle back into the couch, but she wasn’t going to buy it.

As she walked over to the couch, she said, “Honey, I know you’re mad, but you have to realize that I want to do things with my friends, too, just like you do. It can’t be that hard to relate. When I was your age..” Here we go again, my mom giving the whole ‘when I was your age’ speech. I didn’t want to hear it.

“No. I don’t care what your life was like when you were seventeen. That was thirty years ago, and times have changed a lot since then. I know you’ve been lying to me, and every one goes right through your teeth so easily that it makes me wonder what else you’ve lied to me about. Mom, I just can’t trust you anymore, ever since your attitude changed a few years after Dad moved out. Down feed me the fake stuff; I need truth. I tell you everything, so stop lying and tell me something that I can actually believe for once. Thanks.” My anger flared as I said all of this, and my mom’s face clouded over as soon as I said the word ‘lying’. She knew that she’d been caught.

“Honey, I do it for your own good. I wouldn’t want you to have to go through all of the stuff I do, having to cover your tracks everywhere you go because you’re afraid your ex husband will be creeping right around the corner. Abby, I am quite honestly scared that he will find us again. There are some things that you don’t know about your dad and I, and I plan on you never knowing them. Just trust me this one time, okay, before knowing things you shouldn’t crushes you forever.” She looked hurt the entire time she said this, and I imagined that she was reflecting on past memories she had tried to bury forever in the deepest parts of her mind. They were resurfacing, and she cringed a little as a single, salty tear escaped her eye and came gliding down her cheek.

Reaching over to dry that one tear with my finger, I said, “Mom, it’s alright. I would just really like to know that you’re okay. I don’t want you to be hurt like you were with Dad. Just please, please, don’t try and cover everything up from me. From other people, sure, but not with your only daughter. I hope you know I am purely trustable, and I’ll never tell anyone anything that they don’t need to know. I love you, Mom, so never doubt that.” My cookie-cutter feel-better speech seemed to work, and she slid my hand off of her face and held it a lot like the way Connor had held mine that night so many times.

“I love you, too, Abby. Are we alright, now?” she asked, more tears sliding down her cheeks. I simply nodded my head, gave her a warm hug, and let her tears rain down onto my shoulder. No longer was the figure of speech “A shoulder to cry on” and figure; it was in totality a reality.

She let go of me and gave me one last, knowing look before she clicked down the hallway in her stilettos and headed to her bedroom. I knew this entirely too well. I heard the click of the door catching and then the whoosh of her plopping down on her bed. Then came the sobs that I used to wake up to every night, that I knew were second-nature for her now. And I couldn’t do anything but sit there and cry my own tears, to let them flow freely like they were part of some big stream, leading them to a river, to an ocean, and beyond. And I slept again.


I opened my eyes and instantly closed them again; bright sunlight filtered in through the mini blinds on the big bay window right in front of me. I moaned to myself, and found it to be 11:30 in the morning. Yikes. I found that a blanket had been spread across my legs, and I was tangled in it.

I sat up on the couch, untangled my body from the blanket, and rubbed my eyes like I had in the early morning, and everything came back to me in a whoosh. My party adventure, my alone time with Connor, and then, lastly, my little argument with my mom. The sweetness turned sour again as I remembered her leaving me and continuing her sad habits seconds afterwards. Yet again, I was at a loss for words.

I got up, walked into the kitchen, and spotted a note my mom had left me on a little scrap piece of paper. She worked on Saturdays at a restaurant just down the street as a waitress; it was one of the few jobs she could keep that didn’t make her amazingly difficult to live with because of all of the anxiety it put her under. Everything changed after my parents’ split. He leaving a note wasn’t too unordinary, especially after one of our fights.

“Dear Abby,

I’m very sorry about last night. I was a little bit shaken up about what happened that night, and I didn’t even get the chance to ask you how that party went. Do me a favor and call me when you eat lunch, and fill me in on all the juicy details.

Love,
Mom”

Another way to try and make it up to me. No matter the circumstances, I was still a little excited to be talking about last night, because, if I could talk about it in all of its glory, then it must have really happened. I still couldn’t believe it myself.
I decided it was too late to eat a decent breakfast, and so instead grabbed a granola bar and sat down in the breakfast nook. The newspaper was sitting on the table, already having been leafed through by my mom. The front page was headlined in block print, screaming for my attention, which it failed to grab. I was too preoccupied with my thought to even begin to become sidetracked.
I remembered then that Connor was going to pick me up at seven that night, so I had seven and a half cantankerous hours to get through before I'd get to see him again. I ripped open the wrapper on my granola bar and took a big bite.
Then I remembered that my mom and I had been fighting about her social life, and that we'd undeniably brought up the topic of my dad. And how there were things I shouldn't know, that I wouldn't know, or I'd be crushed for life. I could only guess what happened when I was little, what I didn't know about my mom and dad's relationship. I shook the thoughts out of my head and only tried to relive last night, before I got home, before Connor drove off, before the sadness took over, and was happy to realize that I could forget. I moved through the night, even to the point where I was getting dressed for the party I didn't even want to go to at the time but was so glad I did.
I spent the rest of the day fretting over what I was going to wear, what I was going to say, what I was going to do. That took up a few hours, but it still seemed like time was crawling by.
I called my mom at two, and told her everything that had happened. She ooh’d and ahh’d in all the right places, probably bored silly, but then I heard a bell ring and someone call ‘Order up!’ and she had to go. Like usual.
I brushed off the dissed feeling by climbing into the hot shower half an hour later and lathering up with my favorite shower gel, strawberries and cream I hoped that the confidence the scent gave me would last throughout the entire time I was with him. I took extra care to clean every square inch of myself, washing and rewashing every surface until every imaginary speck of dirt was gone. I moved onto other things, like brushing every last knot out of my hair over and over, and rubbing down every part of my body with my towel until no water was left. The clock still only said five thirty, and I still had an hour and a half left to go.
I decided to wear a silver and pink dress, one of my only relatively nice dresses, and let my hair hang loose, waving it with my curling iron until it looked like I'd just been at the beach. I wore silvery eye shadow and just a hint of tinted lip gloss on my lips, to make them look extra-kissable even if we weren't quite there in our relationship.

It wasn't as if I was trying to hurry things along, but now that I knew I really felt things for him, I never wanted to let him go, to give him any reason to leave my sitting on the sidelines, wishing he was with me.

He pulled up at exactly seven o'clock, and I hurried out the door to see him. I nearly tripped in my silver slingbacks, but I righted myself just as I began to tumble. I smiled, trying to act like nothing happened, but I saw him chuckling through the tinted windows. My cheeks blushed a bright crimson.

He was still laughing as I approached his car, and I had a sour look on my face that instantly turned into an eruption of giggles as I sat down. “Only you.” he said, a wide grin spread across his face. I just shook my head, and he took off silently, stealthily, without a change in his demeanor.

He drove me to the intersection of West Seventh and Northern Platte Avenue, where he took a right onto Golden Steer Lane. We continued, going east for around ten miles. He took an abrupt left, onto an unmarked county road which we followed for another five minutes. The car’s path wasn’t even disturbed by the gravel crunching underneath its tires, and I was pleased that the ride continued to be peaceful.

After a few minutes, he drove off the gravel road and onto a paved drive, which I guessed was his. It was long, black, and perfectly smooth under the tires. We pulled up to a modern glass garage door, which opened automatically and let us in. He slid in, a straight shot through it. As soon as the blinding light of the opener shut off, I could make out details and shapes inside of the garage; a set of French doors led out back, where a shimmering pool lie glinting in the sun, and a black Mazaradi sat adjacent to where the Miata was now parked.

He came around the car and opened my door. He took my hand again, and led me through the French doors and onto a slate patio, deep veins of silvery rock running through the stones. I saw the pool I had glanced earlier to my right, and the most beautiful garden I had ever seen just off of the patio. It had every kind of flower imaginable, up into exotic Bird of Paradises to the more common raspberry bush. It didn’t quite fit the modernity of the place, but it was astounding to see none the less.

“So, what do you think?” he asked me. I simply looked around me, stunned into speechlessness.

“It looks great. I’m actually disappointed, though..” I trailed, making his eyes turn into a perplexed kind of hazy green.

“Why?” he asked, undeniably curious.

“Because.” I began. “Can’t there just be something you’re not better at than everyone else?” I broke into laughter, and he did too.

“I’m sure there are some things, Abby, that even I can’t outdo over anyone.” That look from last night, the one that signaled a drop down, an end, crept up again. I said no more about the fact.

I continued on as if I hadn’t noticed. “Show me more! I’m dying to see what else you and your family have done with the place.” He cringed as I said ‘dying’, and I regretted using the figure of speech, even though he knew I didn’t mean it literally. There were just so many things I’d have to avoid saying and doing now, so as to keep him happy.

He took me through some thickly blossomed peonies and onto a mulched path that led to the thicker parts of the garden. There was a wooden bridge continuing the path over a stream that fed into a larger, rock-lined pond deeper in. I was preparing to cross it when he stopped abruptly and sat down in a grassy clearing just off the path. Stunned and slightly perplexed, I followed suit and sat with my legs crossed next to him.
He leaned in and was just about to kiss my forehead when I saw the head of another person in my peripheral vision. I gasped and pulled away without even thinking, and he whispered in my ear, “It’s just my brother. It’s alright.” He bent over further to make up the difference in space I’d just produced and kissed me anyway, his soft lips moving in between mine. It was a perfect moment.
“Huh-hem.” The cough of the person broke us apart, and I was left sitting in the same position even as Connor pulled away and turned to face our new company. I quickly righted myself, embarrassed, when I heard extremely quiet laughs being shared between the brothers.
“What?” I asked, slightly annoyed. They just shook their heads and laughed one last, hearty laugh before Connor got up. He got up so gracefully I didn’t even realize he’d left before he was up, and it surprised me even though I knew I shouldn’t be surprised at anything he did.
“What are you waiting for, Abby?” he said, then cracked up again, his brother and he sharing some other personal joke between the two of them. I was up in half a second, determined not to make any more of a fool out of myself than I already had.
Once I finally was where they were, which was further away than before now due to the fact that they had drifted slightly in waiting for me, I was introduced to Kyle. They both had the same sandy hair and gray-green eyes, but Kyle was about a foot shorter than Connor. “Abby, this is Kyle. He’s my little bro. My job around here is to make sure he doesn’t get in any more trouble than I do—doesn’t take much, huh?” He fake punched Kyle in the arm as he said this, and a smile broke out across my face.
“You guys look a lot alike. Other than your height differences, I never would have been able to tell you guys apart.” That got them both laughing.
“Hey, Abby?” he asked me, in the sweetest voice ever.
“Yea?” I answered, happy that he was already talking to me.
“Is it alright if I hang out with you guys tonight? Mom is gone, and there aren’t any good matches going on tonight, so I’m looking for something to do.” Connor gave him a warning glance as he said ‘matches’, and I knew there was something that Connor hadn’t told me yet.
“Yea, that’s fine.” I continued my use of ignoring certain remarks, and he seemed happy enough that I was going to let him follow us around. Easy enough to please.

We walked back over to patio, where Kyle sank into a gray and black striped chair. Connor took me over to the opposite side, and practically sat me down on the matching chaise lounge. He sat down on the end of it, where he could keep us both easily in sight. I felt more and more safe with him as I came to realize he was almost protective of me.
“I figured I’d take Abby out to dinner tonight, if that’s alright. I thought maybe by eight? We’ll stick around with you for awhile, beings we promised you some chill time. When we get back, you want to hang some more?” Connor asked, looking at me for a confirmation. I nodded.
“Yea. Sounds good. I hope you guys have a nice little dinner; you know, Abby, that I’m very glad that Connor has someone to spend time with. He’s been a little, well, you know how you get after being alone for a while. It’s nice to see him getting out and doing things for a change.” Kyle tried to subtly hint his appreciation of me, but I could also tell he was glad he wasn’t having to be watched all the time, too. I was a duel-purpose date, I guessed, and that kind of made me feel special.
“I’m just glad that I met him when I did; I was in the same boat for awhile, being alone and all. This has been so different from any other time I’ve been with a guy. It’s been kind of nice.” As I said this, I looked over at Connor and smiled at him.
“Kyle, what would you like to do for the next half an hour?” Connor asked him, and Kyle’s response was a simple shrug of his shoulders. “In that case, is it alright if we leave a little early? I just had an idea, and it’s probably going to take longer than I have. You know, I still have to get her home by ten. Some of us have curfews.” He gave him a slight glare at this, and I knew he was just enforcing his paternal side on him.
Kyle rolled his eyes, and said, “I know, I know. Be home by three. I’ve heard it all before.” And he was gone.
“Looks like he found something to do now, doesn’t it?” I said, astonished that he’d just up and left so suddenly.
“Yes. We have.. commitments. And I guess he just decided to get his done early. Whatever, we’re not letting him ruin our plans. I have just the place to take you, if you want to go, that is.” He did the dazzling thing again, where his eyes lit up and his smile made me want to melt inside.
“Of course!” I answered, my heart swelling. He helped me up, back through the French doors, and into his car. And, yet again, like so many other times, we were off.

We drove on the roads that overlooked the ocean, the waves crashing against the shore creating a sound of pure bliss. He gave me looks every once in awhile, showing that he knew I was there, that he hadn’t spaced off entirely in the wake of the setting sun. I could hear the seagulls squawking as they put their young to bed in their nests.

Continually, we rounded the curves in the roads with grace and stability, the car taking every one more easily than the last. We didn’t really talk much; what we were doing was more than enough. I had no idea where he was taking me, but no alarms went off in my head heading me of danger. I felt entirely safe with him.

Finally, after around twenty minutes of non-stop coastal driving, we came to a stop on a sandy stretch of land just off of the road. We met up with a pier hanging off into the now inky-black ocean, with the last rays of sunlight catching the glint of a sea glass sun catcher hanging off of the side. He finally spoke.

“This is the place where my mom and I used to come when my dad was having one of his moments; it was an extreme contrast to being home. I never really had peace in my house, unless my dad was gone..” He looked over at me then, meeting my eyes with a pained expression on his face. I could tell that this was a sore subject.

“It’s so peaceful here, though. I can see why you’d want to come to a place like this under those circumstances.” I replied, trying not to prod him into talking about anything he didn’t want to.

“Yeah, it was kind of our little escape. I used to go down to the end of the pier and dream about taking someone down there with me; there’s a little Italian restaurant on the end. It’s got bistro tables both outside and in, and the food is pretty decent. I thought I’d bring you there and live out my childhood fantasies. I couldn’t pick a better person to live it with.” He broke into a wide grin, his eyes doing that sparkling thing again.

“But you don’t even know me that well; what I can’t understand is why I was so special. There’s nothing too unordinary about me, so why would you think there was? I’m just so plain; I’m anal-retentive and ornery, and a total perfectionist..”
He broke my line there, shaking his head. “No. You may be a total spazz about unnecessary things, but you’re not ordinary. Ordinary would mean we’d be in the backseat making out.” He cringed slightly as he said this. “You’re not the average girl, Abby. I respect your differences, because I’m not ordinary either. My family was torn apart when I was ten, and it’s scarred me for life. I’ll never be normal again, because I know what can happen in a relationship. I take things slowly because I don’t want to be like my dad. You seem to be on the same page when it comes to taking it slowly, at least in the sense of not making this into a one-night thing. I’m serious, stop ratting on yourself because you think you’re strange. You’re beautiful in every way I’ve seen, so take it in stride and be happy.” His speech stunned me into quietness, so he had to give me another prompting look before I responded.

“But.. But, you don’t really know me. You’ve only seen the Abby that I am on the outside; you haven’t even begun to dive into the treacherous waters of the inside of me. I really do hope you’ll take the time to maneuver them, but, all things considered, we just met.”

“But that’s where you’re wrong, Abby. We’ve known each other for years, but things have come up, and I haven’t been allowed to find you up until now. I’ve been trying to reach out to you since eighth grade, when I was taken away from you. Abby, you were little. You wouldn’t remember. Forget I even mentioned it, because you won’t understand..” Anger flashed in his tone, and I suddenly became frightened.

“Connor, what are you trying to tell me? Why is it so hard to realize that we just now met each other? Fate brought us together at that stupid party I wasn’t even going to go to, and now we’re here. Why can’t we just go down to the pier and watch the sunset, eat spaghetti, and hold hands? Is it that hard to make this into one of those cliché romance novel events where you take me under your wing and we stay together forever, even if forever isn’t as long as it should be?” I became ever more frustrated as the questions rushed out, trying to fight the sudden turn this event was taking.

“Because, Abby, you don’t know what I’ve been through to get to this moment, what I’ve sacrificed. You’ll never dream what you mean to me, because you’ll never be in the same situation. You may think you love me eventually, but know that it isn’t love that you’re feeling; it’s an after-effect of being dazzled by me just days ago, except it was years ago when it first started. I’m what causes more arguments and problems than a room full of drunken sailors let loose onto the streets of Las Vegas. I’m not what you need, but I just can’t fight this off.” He was really angry now; not angry at me I supposed but more frustrated and anguished at himself for even bringing me away from that party. “I should have just let this go, and everything would have been fine. You would have still been at that party with Kayla, you would have gone home, you would have been safe..”
I cut him off sharply. “Don’t you ever say that again, because there’s nothing that I’d do differently than to be here with you. I can not describe what changed in me the second I saw you, but there’s a need there now, and if you leave me now, I will never be able to forget. Ever.” This seemed to satisfy him, because he stopped talking in negatives.

“I know. I’ve been there. You can’t even begin to imagine.. Maybe I’m wrong, if you’re already feeling this way. But I’m going to warn you right now, it won’t be easy. You may not always wish you love me, but I promise there will be more good things than bad, at least for now. But, if I ever end up putting you in danger like I did last time, I’ll leave, and next time you won’t be so lucky.” He stared at his feet up until his warning, then he gave me a cold, hard, and dead-serious look that sent a chill up my spine.

“That’s fine. I’ll do whatever it takes. I can’t just be tossed and turned anymore, now that I’ve gotten to know you. You have to promise me..”
Then I remembered his last part. About how he put me in danger before, and how I wouldn’t be so lucky next time it happened, and my face morphed into pure puzzling bewilderment. “Wait. You said before. And next time. What am I missing here, and why am I so confused? You’re not giving me all the details, and my brain isn’t quite ready to understand. Please explain.” I tried to be a little bit humorous, making myself out to be dumb in the most wrong circumstances ever, but I knew he saw through it instantly and an invisible door slammed shut between us. I stopped trying to ask, knowing I’d just lose, even though none of it made sense.

He took my hand in his larger one, looked into my eyes, and said the two words I would soon dread hearing much more than in just that moment. “You’ll see.” And that was it. There were so many things I knew I wasn’t being told, so much that I wanted to know, but wouldn’t for so long.

His eyes shifted from their angry glare back into the softness I was used to. No matter how perplexed and almost-anguished I was at the fact that I knew absolutely nothing about our strange relationship, I felt a deep connection with Connor. It was plain that there was something, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

I finally got up the courage to open my car door, and I stumbled out onto rocky shoulder of the road. I began to walk off in the direction of the pier, but before I got further than ten paces away, Connor was there, tugging on my hand. It startled me when he grabbed me, and I flinched slightly.

“Sorry if I scared you, but I didn’t just want you up and running away from me, fuming. I promise you that you’ll know soon enough. You see, I’m not exactly inclined to tell you what happened; some kind of strict binding between our society and yours. I probably shouldn’t go into any detail on that account, or I’ll have some very unhappy elders..” He started to let a slight smile creep up to his lips, but then it fell as he realized that I’d come to a stop.

“Connor, you are utterly annihilating anything I’ve ever known. I’ve never been told that I can’t have something explained to me, that there’s another society out there for Christ’s sake! I’m hanging here, trying to comprehend, but there are just too many loose threads, and I can’t get them to weave together.” I felt immature just then, practically stomping my foot at all of the really angering parts. But, I felt I had the right to be angry, due to the fact that I was completely and irrevocably confused.

“How many times can I try and apologize? I should just stop trying now, because you’re too stubborn to accept them anyway. I’m wasting decent time with you, arguing, when there’s really so much more we should be doing. Here, follow me.”

He took my hand and led me to the end of the pier. Sea spray misted our hands, and it glistened off of Connor’s face in the setting sun like crystals under a bright beam of light.
I never really allowed myself to look him over completely, to see every last detail of the boy I barely knew but seemed to know me so well, but now my eyes took in everything. His brown hair standing up in slight peaks, appearing so random but beautiful to the point of perfection. The eyes that shifted so often from hazely-brown to green, to the darker shades that meant he was angry. His body; from his muscled shoulders down to his toned calves, and the line of his tendons showing prominently behind his heels. He was utterly perfect, and I paled in comparison to him.
As we neared the end, we slowed to a stroll, and he looked over his shoulder to see me gawking at his physique. He simply grinned, grasped my hand tighter, and continued on until the wave-beaten boards ended and the whitened rail was the only barrier between us and the sea.
“So, now that you’ve had the chance to decipher me from the outside, I’m sure you probably want a glimpse on the inside, too?” he asked, the corners of his mouth turning up into a slight smile. “Because, you know, I’m pretty sure you’re wondering why you’re even here? Why you’re with a complete and total stranger,” he rolled his eyes at this, “when you could very well be with Kayla or some other friend?”
I simply stared at him, kind of wishing that he’d just continue on without needing a response from me. He didn’t, even after almost a minute, so I said, “Yes. I am rather curious about who you are, and why you took me hostage, no matter how glorious that might have been, from that party and made me.. made me obsessed.” I said it like that was a bad thing, but he saw through me straight away and laughed his throaty laugh.
“I didn’t exactly try. You were just simply there for the taking, and why shouldn’t I have chosen to pounce? I’m ready to talk, if you give me the time. Are you ready for this?” He looked at me with one eye, inclining his head as if to prod me for the go-ahead. I shook my head slowly, preparing for the inevitable mesmerizing I was sure to be going through within minutes.
“You see, I’m not exactly normal.” I shot him a sidelong glance after he said this, trying to make my eyes copy his smoldering thing. As if he didn’t already know that I knew that much. “My family and I have been around the world, trying to hide from the rest of our kind, not wanting to draw any more attention to ourselves than need be. We never tried to use our talents unless it was absolutely necessary, but my brother, err. Well, he had a few problems accepting that he couldn’t just disappear for days at a time anymore. Not without one of us along, anyway. Anna just wouldn’t tolerate it; not after what happened to Eric..” He got lost in telling his story, and I could tell he was in some other realm of thought, reliving whatever was happening, but I wasn’t following anymore.
“Wait. Anna? Eric? Who are these people?” I remained puzzled until he dropped my hand and moved it to my shoulder, where it seemed to tense up ever so slightly.
“Pardon me.” he said, and that’s when the politeness ended. “I forgot how uneducated you are; must they have kept everything from you?” His anger flared, and I reached back behind me to grab the hand on my shoulder.
“Hey, it’s alright. But you do know that with every jab you make at my past, I get more and more confused? I was just asking, and if it bothers you to tell me then stop right now before my brain implodes from overload. Please.” I could tell then that when I begged, he melted on the inside. My new secret weapon.
“I know, it just angers me that they kept you so sheltered!” By “they” I was guessing he was referring to my parents, but I still wasn’t putting two and two together yet.
“If you’re going to tell me what all of this nonsense means, then I suggest you start from the beginning and work your way forward. Remember, I don’t have a super-brain like you, and it doesn’t function like a computer, so take it nice and slow. Start from what I asked you before you practically broke something. Eric and Anna, remember?” I tried to change the subject, and it appeared to work.
His eyes got a pained expression in them, and he took two shallow breaths before he continued. “Anna is my mother, or as much of a mother as she’ll ever be.” He sneered the last part, clearly perturbed at her actions. Actions I still didn’t understand, and probably never would at the rate we were going. “Eric was my brother. My only true brother. And Anna just let him run off, without another glance back. I loved him. And that was what she did.” Moisture pooled in his eyes as he remembered the pain that had been covered up so well, buried so deeply. I hated myself for asking.
“Anna isn’t really my mom, thank the lord. She was just the most experienced at what was going on in my life, back in the day. She’s served her purpose, and now that I’ve found you, I hope to never need her again. She’s caused a lot of pain to me and the rest of my family..” He trailed off here, and I sensed that that chapter was closed and another was about to unfold.
“We’re going to speed past all of the years I spent in denial, searching for him. I’m going to move on to when I found you again, and then everything changed. I could see the light again, but then it was all ripped away from me when he came back. Little did I know that I would soon want my brother dead for what he did, even though he had as little control over the situation as I did. No one really knew what was going on. It was like we were drawn to trouble, and nothing could stop it. I hate to say it, but you’ve been the topic of discussion amongst our kind since you were born.” It was a mix of emotions, both sadness and confusion, mixed with a melancholy pull of sympathy. I didn’t really care that I was an object of discussion; all that really mattered was why he was in so much pain.
“I’m not even going to ask why, because I can see when you put your guard up. Your eyes give you away every time, and I know I’ll never get through. But one thing I do want to know, is why you wanted your.. your brother dead. What could he have done that you’d want him to leave this earth? To die? Why?” I was completely and utterly stupefied, and to have even one of my brooding questions answered would please me.
“Because,” he began, sliding his arm off my shoulder and gliding down the railing to crouch at my feet, “he wanted you.”

It took me a few long moments to wrap my head around what he’d just said, and even when I understood, more questions just popped up. I couldn’t grasp the concept of being wanted by anyone more significant than my mother, let alone a complete stranger.
Connor looked at me sheepishly while I ran things over in my mind. His mouth turned down slightly when I looked over and our eyes met. A sudden whoosh of changing feelings caught me off guard. Pity. That’s what I felt. I didn’t stay on the topic of what I had to do with all of this right that second; it was more of what I felt in gratification towards the bravery, towards what he must have been feeling in that moment.
“So, your brother met me how? And why would he want me, when I was a baby?” I tried to ask without prodding, but didn’t succeed.
He glanced down at his feet, then spoke timidly. “He went through the same thing I went through the second I laid eyes on you. It was beyond either of our controls; a product of nature itself. You see, Abby, things happen in this world. Things that are unexplainable. When one of us, well, when one of us sees for the first time, we become overly sensitive to everything around us. It isn’t uncommon for what happened to us, if it had been only one of us. It is completely unheard of for two to imprint upon the same person.” He had lost me at imprint. I’d only heard that term once before, and it wasn’t anytime recently. I let him babble on, too stunned to really grasp anything else he was saying.
“W-w-wait. You’re telling me that you imprinted on me? Both of you? And I’m still completely lost; when you say one of us, what exactly do you mean?” My voice shot up two octaves as I became more and more worked up about the confusion that still lay thickly in front of the truth. The truth I still didn’t get.
Connor sighed, but then continued on despite all of my emotion. “Abby, I’m going to say it quickly. I’m not normal. Not at all. I’m not exactly human, or vampire, or werewolf, or any other thing you will most likely think of. I’m.. I’m an.. Argh! Just let me show you!” He got extremely aggravated at the end, and he stormed off to the other side of the dock.
I followed as possibly close as I could; my human abilities just weren’t as fast as his, whatever his were. He put out his hand in warning, and I came to an abrupt stop just as he pulled off his shirt. I stood in awe at his chiseled chest, his perfectly sculpted abs. But, underneath all the glory were the scars. Battle scars. Deeply set into his ivory skin, like a map of all of the painful fights he’d been through.
He turned around, and, underneath his prominent shoulder blades, I noticed the faint outline of wings; just a slight shimmer where his skin changed colors, where they splayed out in their minutest form, where they began to ripple, to change, to morph. I soon realized that they were rising out of his back like a plate in the earth, being crushed and forced upward by its neighbor. Not three seconds later they emerged completely, snowy white feathers where five seconds ago his back was.
I was in such shock, I nearly stumbled off the pier. He was there to catch me before I fell, pain he was trying to cover up evident on his face. He’d just exposed his true self to my un-expecting eyes, probably afraid I’d flee and hurt him even more, and I’d just stood there, rooted to the wooden pier. He held me close for a fraction of a second, and electricity flew through my veins. The touch of an angel. The touch of my angel.
I looked up into his green eyes, and saw a raging ocean in them. Swirls of sea foam, aquamarine, and pearl moved in through his irises, morphing into near-paisley patterns before flowing into a river of seawater and shifting back again. I was mystified.
“You don’t have to be afraid. I swear I’ll never hurt you, I’ll never tell, I’ll never do anything, ever, if it will harm your kind.” I began, testing the waters as I tried to accept what he was.
“I know you won’t.” The tiniest bit of menace turned the ordinary remark into more of a threat, and I sucked in a quick breath as it caught me off guard. I shouldn’t have been scared, with all the trust he’d put in me in the short time we’d been reunited, but I was. Utterly terrified. Because, with everything normal just weeks behind me gone, I felt alone. Like I couldn’t ever be that girl again, the one with the cheerleader best friend, the one who kept her mother in check, the one whose perfectionism sometimes got in the way of everything. But this was now. I’d moved on to more challenging things, to more glorious things. I’d moved on to Connor, and to helping him and his race live. And that was more rewarding than anything else.
I took my hand and put it to his face, tracing along his jaw line. His eyes closed, and he took a deep breath. I felt him relax, and the wings began to close up, to shrink back into what they were before they sprang, as if they were never there. I saw a single tear slide down his cheek, and I pulled myself closer to him. I adjusted to the contours in his body as if they were made for me. We stood there, leaning against the railing of the pier, until he pulled himself away.
“I’m a freak. Simply put. It’s just that we do serve a purpose, in a sense. But I’ve had to stay away from you for almost sixteen years, trying to spare my life. My brother was more powerful than I was, and he would have killed me if it meant saving you. I would have known my approach wasn’t to harm you, but any exception overrides when you’ve imprinted on something. He would have done it.
“I saw you one day, while you were out with you mom. She was driving, and you were in the backseat. You were wrapped up in the pink blanket your grandmother made you, and when you saw me fly by, your eyes lit up like you’d seen for the first time. I remember your smile as if it were mere seconds ago, and when I saw you, I finally felt like I belonged. You kept the balance for me, between human life and angel life. But then, when I got home, I was asked where I’d been, what I’d seen. Then, he found out. And he’d imprinted on you weeks ago. When you were still in the hospital, barely two days old.
“I was severely beaten that day, and then each consecutive time I tried to see you.” He grimaced in pain, and pointed to his scars. “But, it was all worth it. To think of that now, it seems like it was forever ago. You’re with me now, and that is all that I can think of.”
“Wow. And to think that I never felt special. For someone to go through all of that, and still want me..” I trailed off, and he looked at me strangely, noticing my light tone. “I can not believe someone would be that dedicated to one girl. What happened to your.. brother?” I shot a look of sympathy at him, because, even though he’d given me so much, I needed to know where my other admirer was.
“He up and left. As far as I know, he could be dead right this second. But I’m not going to dwell on where he might be, due to everything he’s done to me.” I shudder racked through me as I noted his hostile tone back again, and I didn’t want to remember it as belonging to him.
I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself, but I failed. I started hyperventilating, the utter shock of the evening finally working its way through my system. Now that I fully understood the basics, my head was trying to comprehend all the details. That Connor, the best thing that ever happened to me, was an angel. That his brother had imprinted on me when I was a baby, and Connor had followed suit. That so much had happened since I was born, and that I didn’t know anything about it. That Connor, and the rest of his race for that matter, were in grave danger. I’d only begun to divulge into the world of Connor Inning, but I already knew that I was in for a ride. I’d do whatever it took to save him, to save his family. I wasn’t quite sure what that was yet, but I’d soon find out.
I tried to speak again, but the words just got caught in my throat. I couldn’t say what I really needed to, to reassure Connor that I understood, that things would make more sense as I got used to them.
He gave me a sympathetic glance, then sank back down to the pier. The water was even darker now, in the absence of the sun. I just gazed back, too stunned to talk. He shook his head, rose up into a near-crouch, and swooped me up in my arms. My only reaction was to curl into him, to escape everything I had just realized.
Connor carried me to the car, and I didn’t feel like I blinked or noticed a single thing along the way. I was too preoccupied with thinking to care. Before I knew it, I was home again, in bed, wrapped in the arms of an angel, sobbing quietly to myself. And then I slept.

When I finally woke up, I could see the sunlight filtering in through the blinds on my window. It took me a moment to realize that I was alone. It made everything that came flooding back to me seem even more fictitious.
I found a note propped up on my desk, written in scrolling script. It was a goodbye note and raincheck all in one; his reason for leaving at least helped me confirm that everything about last night was real, and his promise of coming back swirled everything into near-perfection. It only would’ve been better if he were still there.

He left because of his “commitments”, which I still didn’t know about. I only made the connection because of what he’d said about his brother the other night in the garden, about how they all had commitments, but Kyle’d just decided to get them done early. It wasn’t much to cling to, but it was a start.
He tacked on an extra message on the end, about how he’d certainly be back when he was finished. When, I wasn’t sure, but all that mattered was he was coming back. I could hang on to that, and I’m sure he knew I would while he wrote it.
At the very tail end, he signed it with a flourishing signature, too beautiful to be written by someone like me. I could smell his sweet scent rolling off of it, and I found comfort in what little my nose could pick up.

I busied myself cleaning up around the house, trying to get everything in working order before anyone dropped by. The only person I really cared about impressing was Connor, but my mother didn’t need to know that. She was just pleased that I was taking the job up, and she wouldn’t have to call in Rosa the housekeeper.
I tried to draw out everything I did, taking even longer than I would with just my perfectionism raging. I needed something to take my mind off waiting; it wasn’t easy to just sit around and wait for Prince Charming to show up.
When I finally finished every single thing in the house, I slumped down on the couch, burrowing into the cushions as far as I could go. It wasn’t nearly as comfortable as being held by Connor, but it would have to do for the time being. It was already three in the afternoon, but I still felt obligated to do something, anything, to spiff the place up a bit.
I tidied every one of my mother’s books, placing some in decorative positions and others at strategic angles, trying to show that effort had been put in at the least. All of the knickknacks adorning the mantle had to go, or be rearranged, at least. It only took me half an hour; time crawled by every time I wanted it to speed past in a blur of nothing.

My waiting was let up by the soft knocking I barely heard on the front door; my heart was already racing, trying to escape from my chest. I knew better than to try and calm down, because it would do no good as soon as I saw him.
I opened up the door, and the face I had been longing for waited outside the threshold. His face was more beautiful than a midnight sonnet, and his chest rose and fell more quickly as he looked down, right into my waiting eyes.
“I see you’ve been waiting for me;” he said, a smile quickly spreading across his face, “look at this place!” The teasing tone was evident in his voice, and I punched him lightly in the arm for making fun of me.
“You couldn’t have expected me to just sit around and mope, now could you have? No. You should know me better than that!” I broke out into a fit of giggles then, and he chuckled right along with me.
“Listen, I’m sorry I just left without any notice; you were sleeping so soundly I didn’t want to wake you. I only drifted in and out, and I figured I may as well take up the opportunity and get everything I had to do out of the way.
“I have plans for today, so..” he said, looking at me eagerly. I only frowned. “What? You don’t want to spend all night with me, again? I’ll leave, if that’s what you want..” He stopped abruptly, noticing the shaking of my head.
“No, no, no! Don’t leave! When you said you had plans, I just figured they didn’t involve me. Are you really asking me if you should leave?” My voice climbed steadily higher, into a shriek.
He chuckled softly, and then grabbed my hand. I gasped a little, but then grinned up at him when he kissed it; the classic sign of chivalry, which he didn’t lack at all.
“If you would, would you mind if I, uh, came in?” he asked, hopeful promise softening his voice. I withdrew my hand in surprise, grateful that I’d cleaned the house.
“Of course! I-I can’t believe how inhospitable I’ve been. Do come in, Romeo. Juliet is awaiting your entrance.” I gave a grand flourish to the entryway, embracing my inner Shakespeare.
Connor darted through the doorway in two graceful bounds, meeting up with me just inside the entryway. He took me by surprise by taking both of my hands in his. He raised them up above our heads, and pressed me against the wall. He let one hand drop, mine finding purchase on his chest, and his free hand instantly found its place at the small of my back. In the next moment, I found his soft lips moving with mine, my eyes closing in the perfection of the moment. All too soon, though, he withdrew and stood up straight.
“Abby? Did I hear..” My mother came walking through the living room, where she saw Connor and I standing awkwardly in the doorway. She gave a startled cry, and then happiness warmed her eyes. “Ah, young love. Do carry on; I’ll just be on my way now.” She put a finger in the air as she turned on her heel and walked out, back towards the kitchen. I groaned.
“What? I thought she was rather pleasant about it, honestly. I was expecting more of a façade wounder. Your mom is really sweet.” He smiled at me, and it made me feel both warm and uneasy inside.
“You know all this from one encounter? I’m wowed.” I said, trying not to sway the heat of the moment too far from where it was. I wasn’t going to let an embarrassing interruption from my mother ruin what had just happened.
“Yes. Rather, no, but I’ve only been around her maybe three times before now. Not too often, but enough to get the just of what she’s like. I think I really like her. Not too clingy, not too spacey. She kind of reminds me of you, or the other way around, I should say. Age before beauty.” His eyes crinkled up at the edges when he said the last part, and I smiled at him.
I twisted around so that my back was back against the wall, and my leg was resting on the toe of my flat. I tried to coax him closer, but he hesitated.
“We have all night, Abby. And I don’t want to push your mother too far. One walk-in for an hour is enough, don’t you think?” I wanted to scream no, but I thought better of it.
“I guess. And by all night, do you mean all night? Not just evening?” The hope in my voice made my vowels come out strangely, but he just shook his head yes, and was met by my glowing smile, eyes, and heart.

We ended up in my room, sitting on my too-small bed, talking about school, of all things. I only had a week left of summer vacation, and I didn’t want to leave behind days of straight time with my love. But, all things considered, he assured me he’d be with me always, whether in full or part. That got me squirming, horror overshadowed by delight.
Our conversation turned to him right then, and he told me that he would be transferring to Whitley, a private school near the beach. It was only four blocks from my community high, and I felt the apprehension boiling over. I wished that it were easy enough to get in there; I would have done it in a heartbeat. My dad owed us a lot, and if this was what I wanted I was pretty sure I’d get it. Nothing the law wouldn’t sort out. Nothing Connor couldn’t fix.
I was super excited then, focusing on what could be, what would be. “So, you think you’ll see me during the day?” I couldn’t help but put up my guard, trying to prevent my hopes from being crushed more quickly than they’d formed.
“Of course. I wouldn’t like to have to be away. I know I’ll figure something out to get away; the teachers there are too scared to lose there jobs to care much about one student, singularly. Hypothetically, I’m sure a person, of course not mentioning names, could get away with a lot, if they knew how to talk.” A malicious grin snuck across his face, and I could tell he had a few things up his sleeve.
“Mhmm. Kind of like, if I said the right things right now, theoretically speaking, you might, per se, swoop me up in your arms again and pick up where we left off last night? Of course, only if you’d want to.” I let my voice go along with what my eyes said, looking at him at just the right moment to get his pulse pounding. I was met by a roll of his eyes, then a slight shake of his head.
Within the next second, I was back in his arms, snuggled into him. I didn’t let myself wander through what I wanted, what I never thought I’d get. I got a flurry of kisses on my neck, tracing down my spine, and then I was asleep again.

It must have been hours later, because it was pitch dark in my room now. I was surprised that I’d been able to doze, with all the sleep I’d had last night. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It was 2:30 in the morning; early, in other words. I groaned again, but was pleased to still be in Connor’s arms.
“Hey, beautiful. Hope you’re ready for some fun! Follow me..” He said, hoisting me up into his lap, supporting nearly all my weight. He slipped out from under me, and I almost fell back into the ridge of sheets left from his movement.
“What? It’s 2:30 in the morning, you idiot! I can’t just leave!” I seethed, trying to sound serious, but failing. He saw through my façade straight away, and the next thing I knew I was sitting in his arms, being carried out my window, into the unknown. But I was ready for the unknown, ready for adventure, and that gave me hope.

He actually put me down once we reached the ground, and I walked faster than I thought possible, all traces of grog gone. Connor’s smile glinted in the moonlight, and he seemed brilliantly happy, waiting for me to realize the full extent of his moonlit adventures.

“Must we walk so slowly? You know, I could just carry you. Actually,” he said, a grin that nearly reached both his eyes spreading, “I might just do that!” I was once again in his arms, being carried through the streets like some invalid child. It made me feel slightly useless.

“Ugh! You know I don’t like being treated like an imbecile. I’m not two.” I fumed happily, in the most joking, teasing tone I could muster. He chuckled brightly.

“We’re only, what, twenty miles from where we need to be? I think you’d appreciate my rapture at carrying you more, unless you wanted to walk that all by yourself.” A joking sneer replaced his grin, and I couldn’t help myself; I curled back up into his arms, definitely not wanting him to get any ideas. “Thought so.”

Ten minutes or so later, we arrived at a building-lined alley, and I instantly felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. This wasn’t a good area of town, and a confused expression played out on my face. Of course, as long as I was with Connor, I was safe, but that hardly made me feel any better.

The streetlights’ amber glow soon dimmed as they thinned out, and darkness cast everything in shadows. I shivered, and Connor grasped my shoulders even tighter. I saw a figure step out of an open loading dock door, and I stifled a scream.

Connor’s calming whisper in my ear caused all the fear to dissipate, and I let my rigid body relax. He glided up towards the figure, stopping just ten feet away from the gaping hole. He set me down, but I still clung to his arm.

“Max. I see you’re involved now, too. Who else is in there, cowering from us?” His tone took on a hint of menace, mingling with utter disgust. I could tell that this Max person was no friend.

Max took a bold step forward, and I could make out a long, dark ponytail draped over a chest only half as sculpted as Connor’s. His eyes were dark, sunken pits, too deep to single out a detail. It took me a second to realize that he was naked, and I forced my eyes up in disgust.

At last, I sought relief by seeing the short form of Kyle ambling out of the garage, too. He met the gaze of Max, and, in a defeated stupor, Max stomped back in.

“Do excuse our rude welcome committee. He just doesn’t understand some of our thoughts..” Kyle let his voice rise and stress the key points just loud enough so that Max could hear, and then walked smoothly out to reach us. He took my hand, bowed down, and kissed it. I was once again glad for the darkened state of the area; it kept my cheeks from showing their embarrassment.

Connor fist bumped Kyle, never causing my hand to drop, and then readjusted it in his other hand to lead me in. I was hesitant, but felt even safer than before with the two of them there.


Though the inside of the garage was still dark, there was a kind of dark glow that lit the room. It was furnished in black leather couches and arm chairs, and bar stools stood around the outside of the setup. I saw five main people sitting on the leather furniture, with two other chairs, side-by-side, left empty on the right side of the makeshift circle, and around ten other people sat on the barstools.

Connor stopped short at the larger of the two empty chairs, and sat gracefully down into the supple leather. He pulled me down onto his lap, and adjusted me perfectly. Kyle took the seat next to him.

I wasn’t sure until the entire center of the circle of chairs illuminated that I was here for a reason; the only thing defining organization was the near-perfect ring of chairs. Everything else was strewn haphazardly on the floor. After I had come to that assumption, the floor rose up into a platform as I gave a startled cry, and a globe of light formed. It cast an eerie glow on everyone’s faces.

I leaned against Connor, resting my arm on the armrest and beginning to feel the drowsiness creep back up. I yawned then, but stopped abruptly as the man from out front, now looking both very identical and very different compared to Connor, strode up to the light globe. What caused me to gasp were his large, gray wings. They were at least twice the size Connor’s had been, if not more. They looked even larger in the odd half-light given off by the ball.

He stepped onto the platform, and in a ringing voice, said, “You have all gathered here for a reason. I have not tried so hard to get you all into one place to simply be brushed off.

“As you know, you are all Angels of the Night or Angels of the Day. I supposed that you’d all been brought up to control yourselves, but from recent events, I’ve noticed that that may not be the case. Your elders haven’t done their jobs adequately, or reinforced to you just how important staying conspicuous is. Now, look to the globe to find out why this matters so much.” He gestured to the light ball, and shapes inside of it began to morph. Soon, a map of the earth came into view, and multiple colors graphed each area.

“By comprehending the key listed below Africa, I hope you now understand how much our numbers are dwindling.” I gazed in horror at the amount of red and pink, which stood for less than ten percent, that colored the map; they areas where war had caused the majority of number-drops to occur, where there may have only been one or two Angels left to an entire continent. My jaw dropped in awe.

“This is why you must stay hidden, why you should never, ever expose yourself. No matter what.” He cast an evil glance toward Connor, who just shook his head and put his arm around me. The man droned on and on about precautions, but the entire time Connor was whispering things in my ear.

“He knows what happened. He knows why I did it. He understands, because he did it too. But he doesn’t want all the others to think it’s ok to go out randomly and tell every human what we are, regardless what happens. He expects them to stay uneducated in that department, to brush off their feelings if they happen to have them. I agree that telling everyone on the planet about us isn’t alright, but with you, the circumstances were very different.” His reassurances made what little I had heard make a tad more sense, but in the back of my mind I knew something was wrong.

In a whisper-quiet voice, I asked, “But why would he need to protect you guys? You’re strong, smart, beautiful. You don’t need any help, do you?” I pressed my hand to his cheek, and I felt the muscles tense.

“Not now, Abby. I promise I’ll answer later. But now..” He was cut off by the loud sounds of everyone standing. I saw all their eyes close, and then wings ranging from the snowy white of Connor’s to a deeper gray than Max’s began growing from everyone’s backs. I noticed for the first time that women were there, as naked as everyone else. The only ones dressed were Connor and Kyle; everyone else didn’t have the modesty or need to cover up. Kyle rose first, and then Connor, who left me sitting in almost the same position as I was in before he got up. I saw his wings claw themselves out of his back, and gazed in wonderment at all of the feathers in the room.

Max, bent into a praying position, said attentively, “All hail our dear Angel of Pastina, our mother of all things. Do, my lady, keep watch on all of the order, on all of their associates, and on all of the rest of our race. Keep peace, and may we all retreat back into our original selves.” A moment of silence caused my ears to ring, and the wings of the angels slowly shrank back into their backs. The light globe snapped off abruptly, causing a darkness that hurt my eyes. I felt Connor scoop me up again, and we were running away from the order meeting, away from the rest of the angels.

“I’m extremely sorry about that. That was just a stop on our way, I guess. I didn’t realize that this was so urgent,” he said, quietly hinting a sneer as his voice went up. He then continued on apologetically, “I had to go.. I saw Max and knew that something was up. I guess you could say that was just my instinct kicking in, but I’m not going to claim to have anything superior running through my veins.” He laughed darkly, almost sarcastically, and then turned so fast I was actually jostled slightly. “Now for what I wanted to do..”

He walked off of the sidewalk, onto a blacktop side road, and down another alley. It ended about half a mile after it started, and he broke into a run through the trees that signaled the end. I felt wild wind stirring my hair up as we ran, faster and faster through the trees.

We broke through into a clearing with a rich abundance of wildflowers; the smell tickled my nose at first, and then became an intoxicating kind of stench that made me wrinkle it in curiosity. I opened my eyes as wide as I could, trying to take in the whole place, but snapped them shut again when a bright light burned through. A stabbing pain went through my head.

I must have let out a cry then, because Connor’s hand met my face, then felt its way up to my eyes, shielding me from the light. I rubbed my temples, fending off the headache I was sure would resurface soon.

“Must you be so harsh?” Connor snapped to an unknown person, and I opened my eyes long enough to glimpse the familiar form of Kyle, baby-like, soft-white wings out, and to notice that the harsh light had been dimmed to a candle-lit glow. It reflected off of a glassy lake in between us, and the flowers I had smelled rose up three feet in the air around us. Honeysuckle and flocks.

“Sorry, man. Didn’t know she was with you..” He apologized, but I couldn’t help but notice he seemed a little too pleased. “I thought you might have brought her home, you know? After that train wreck, I know I would be a little perplexed if I were, you know, human. You are going to tell her that was all a hoax, right?” He quit speaking when Connor’s cold stare met his eyes. His lower lip jutted out a little, and his eyes became downcast, but that didn’t stop him from flying across the lake I had just noticed.

“So, we meet again. How are ‘ya now, Abby? Had enough of this whole Angel stuff yet? I mean, you could always go for me instead; I don’t have much power, so I could back out and live like a normal person..” I tried to subtly hint at my discomfort by raising my eyebrow and staring down at Connor’s foot, which was tapping out a fast rhythm. He wasn’t happy about this, I could tell.

“Go. Home.” Connor’s voice cut like a raw edge, and as the words sank in, Kyle appeared very wounded.

I met the tearing eyes of Kyle for a split second before he ran away, back into the forest. I could feel pity and anger surfacing, and wasn’t quite sure which was the more appropriate emotion. The light dimmed even more.

“You didn’t have to be quite so mean. That even kind of hurt me. That poor kid is probably sobbing right now..” I was cut off by Connor.


“It’s the only way he’ll learn. Our code states that no one is to mess with the object of another Angel’s affection. I only got to get to you because my brother abandoned you. He just broke it freely, and he knew what he was doing.” This time, I cut him off.

“I’m sure he didn’t know.. He’s so young. Cut him some slack. I know he didn’t mean you harm, and I certainly know he didn’t mean me any.”

“You don’t understand. You should see the way he looks at you.. You’d get bugged by it, too, if you noticed. You realize he followed us here. Rather, he followed me, if his story is true. He’s mine to claim, but sometimes I wish he’d just leave. A royal pain, I’d say..”

He stopped talking then, scooped me back up, and walked me through the tall flowers, into a grassy area. He set me down and was next to me in the same second, his knee bent, his other leg straight, his penetrating eyes boring into mine.

“I love you more than life itself, Abby. I don’t take things lightly when it has to do with you. You’re mine, or mine for as long as you want me to be. I’d hope that that was forever, but..” I took my finger and put it to his mouth, hushing the rest. I didn’t want to hear it, because it would make us both sad. Instead, I crawled up onto his lap, draped awkwardly over his leg, and used my mouth to find his jaw.

I kissed up it, then moved on to his ear. I tugged at his lobe briefly, then took my hands and rested them in his hair. I whispered in his ear, “I’ll never want to let you go. Never, ever let that cross your mind. Now, I suggest we move on to other things..” I hinted sensually, pulling in his sweet scent while finding my way back to his lips.

We kissed each other more passionately than ever before, but that was all I wanted. I never wanted any more than that moment of perfection, as long as it wanted to be; nothing more than Connor’s lips moving in between mine. That was it.

I found a better position after a few minutes; we both laid down in the grass, Connor resting his head on his hand, propped up by his elbow, me mirroring him but shifting every once in a while to fill a new gap formed from our movements. It lasted a good ten minutes, with Connor kissing my forehead at the very end. It was the best night I’d had with him so far.

We both looked up in time to see two ferns snap back into place, and heard the crashing of an obviously-angered thing clomping through the trees; there was no hint of delicateness at all, no attempt to conceal. The crashing was drowned out to my ears by the shock of what I had glimpsed before the ferns had moved back into place.

I had caught sight of the torso of a pale-skinned man, with wings blacker than the dead of night protruding from his back. His eyes had met mine in that instant, and I had felt a surge of things coming back. Whether Connor knew it or not, I knew who this Angel was. He was Connor’s brother, and the one who had imprinted on me first. I knew right then that we were both in grave danger, and my opinion of the night changed drastically.

A force equal to that of a wrecking ball slammed into me, and I felt a great amount of speed in the chain of motions set after that one. I could see nothing, but felt a sense of apprehension and fear growing as Connor ran as fast as ever through the night.

He grasped me tightly around my torso, with one arm supporting my bottom half. I felt secure in his arms, but nothing could ease my terror of what could happen. I could barely grasp what I had witnessed, but I knew that Connor understood clearly what this meant.

I could hear him cursing under his breath, blaming himself for everything. The night had gone from utter perplexity to pure perfection, then back again, with the latter being tinged with more horror and anxiety than the first. I knew not to be surprised any longer at the life of Connor or his fellow Angels, but this had to do with me, and I wasn’t going to stay quiet long.

As I was juggled up and down, jarred slightly from the running, I asked, “Connor, I know who that was. You don’t have to keep the truth from me; I recognized him. I felt so many things rush through me, emotions I never knew existed. That was him. I-I’ve seen him around four or five times recently. He’s changed so much since the last time I saw him. Hi-his wings are black. I’ve never seen them. Do-does that mean he’s an Angel of the Night?”

Connor’s anger flared as I told him about seeing his brother more than once, and he continued running at an even faster pace. I felt his muscles tense up, and we half-flew through the trees. It wasn’t until we had broken back through to the road that he answered me.

“Abby, he isn’t good. He’s feared by nearly every Angel in the world; he does horrible things. He was like me in the beginning; wings as white as any of ours, innocent, good. And then he changed once I imprinted on you. It was like every bit of decency left him, and then he was gone.
“His personality was bent so crudely, his actions were so unmerciful; I would have much rather claimed even Max before I claimed him. Even Angels of the Night aren’t as evil as he is; he’s a species all his own. We have to leave. I’m taking you home, then we’re going away. Now.”

My heart thrummed in my chest, anxiety boiling over. I couldn’t just leave my mom, I couldn’t just take off with my boyfriend. Only I knew it wasn’t just a summer fling going on; everyone else’s opinion of the matter would be based on the former. It wasn’t going to be accepted.

I tried to relax as much as I could the rest of the way home; if I was going to have to break it to my mom, I’d want to be as calm and collected as I could be. It was only a matter of seconds until she’d be blowing up in my face, calling me out, saying I was probably pregnant, probably doomed to repeat her life. I could honestly say that I was scared silly.

Connor ran stealthily around to the back of my house, climbing up the side like a monkey, swooping gracefully into my room. He lightly tossed me onto the bed, then rummaged through my drawers and shoved as much as could fit into my overnight bag, which had been hanging on my door for as long as I could remember.

Through all the ruckus, I was surprised my mom hadn’t noticed the noise. I was stupefied, left in a state of pure incomprehension. The only part I fully got was that Eric was back, he had seen everything in the clearing, and that he wasn’t happy. I got the feeling that Connor knew a lot more than I did, but was once again halted in asking more questions by the fact that he didn’t seem to want to explain. I knew it was for my own greater good, but it would have been nice to know what was going on.

I tentatively regained a sitting position, then stood up for the first time since before our kissing session. I became slightly dizzy from standing too quickly, but it soon passed and I put my hand to Connor’s, stopping his fervent shoving motions. He met my gaze mid-heave, and I shook my head in pure bafflement.

“I’m not leaving. I can’t leave my mom, you can’t leave Kyle.. It just won’t work. Can we at least stay a few more days, keep an eye out? Please?” I pleaded, hoping my secret weapon still worked. He dropped his hand and shook his head, too.

“You don’t understand, Abby. He wants me dead, and by now, he probably wants you dead, too. This is completely and entirely my fault, and now it won’t be just me who is tortured to death; it’ll be you too, and you’re my very reason for existing.

“I broke the code. I was the one that tried to find you again. It’s entirely my fault, but he won’t see it that way. Because you went along with it, became intoxicated by me, he’ll think it’s your doing, too, even though he should no darn well that you’re human. I have no choice but to take you away.”

He continued haphazardly packing me up, and I stormed out of my room, down the stairs, and into the living room. My mom was dozing on the couch, half-full wine glass and mostly-gone wine bottle sitting on the end table, blanket strewn messily across her half-dressed form. Another night out, doing whatever she was doing, coming home half-way drunk and drinking more until fully intoxicated. At least this would make things easier..

I shook her halfway awake, propped her up against the armrest, and kneeled before her. She let out little whimpers, sighs, and gurgles as I jostled her, and she seemed almost conscious and aware. I began to speak soothingly, calmly.

“Mom? Hey..” I trailed, attempting to go about telling her in the most broad way. “Yeah, so, umm.. Connor and I are going on a little trip together. I’m not quite sure how long we’ll be gone, so don’t worry if we aren’t back real soon. Call me if you need me. I’m sure you won’t remember me telling you this in the morning, so I’ll leave a note on the counter. I.. I-I love you, Ma, you know that. I’m doing this out of love for you, love for myself, and love for him. He is my life now, and I have to do what I have to do. Anyway, talk to you soon.”

I pulled her back down, slipped a pillow under her head, wrapped her up in the blanket like she was in a giant cocoon, and slipped her heels off. I should have asked Connor to take her up to bed, but that would have upset her even more in the morning when she realized she had been moved and I wasn’t there.

I took the bottle of wine and placed it back in the cupboard, dumped the rest of the wine left in her glass down the kitchen sink, and took out our note stack, which we reserved for special notes to and from each other. I figured she’d know I really cared when I used them. I scrawled out a love note with the firefly pen she had given me as a birthday present when I was eleven, and left it beside the note on the counter. I blew a kiss at it and even let a tear slide down my cheek.

The reason why this hurt so badly was because I wasn’t sure when the next time would be that I’d be able to see my mom. I wasn’t sure whether we were leaving for a day, a month, a year, or even longer. Would I end up dead before our time had come to an end? Would I lose Connor? These things ran through my mind, never meeting up, but never straying apart either.

Connor came downstairs slowly, saw me standing in the doorway to the kitchen, looking at my mom, silently crying, and came down the rest of the way more quickly. He set my bag down and instantly wrapped me in the warm embrace of his arms, and the tears came faster and faster. They were tears of sadness, loss, grievance, and fear for the unknown. He stroked my back, calming me back to the present, and I knew we had to go.

It wasn’t until we were back to his house, in his sliver Miata, and on the road to nowhere that I actually felt a pang of happiness. This had been a dream of mine; to run away with the one I loved, together, just the two of us. However, it had been a dream that hadn’t involved being chased down by a dark and mysterious foe who wanted you dead.

My happiness faded, and I made up for its diminishing by grasping Connor’s warm hand in mine. I felt the fear subside a little with his touch, but it was still plainly there. He murmured quietly every once in awhile, but his sounds were unintelligible. We finally turned a corner, and I summoned up the courage to demand an answer.

“Tell me where we’re going, and tell me why it is so urgent that we leave? We’re only twenty minutes out; we could turn around, go back home, maybe snuggle a little..”

He cut me off sharply, and I realized I may have laid it on too thickly at the end. “We’re going somewhere safe. I’m going to check out a few different places, see if any of my fellow Angels have seen him around. Then, and only then will I tell you. It’s important now that you stay less informed. Trust me, you’ll be safer. And you know why we’re leaving. I’m sure you’d rather be alive than have you and everyone else you love dead. That includes your mother. She knows too much.”

I was startled by the realization that my mom knew more than me, and that she could be dead because of this too. I let my mind wander away from that thought to realize that I had noticed he didn’t comment on my proposition about turning around, and I didn’t bring the subject back up.
Because it was nearly dawn by the time we actually set out for the road, the sky had lightened to a dusty rose, and my eyelids had begun to droop.

“Sleep. It’ll help you prepare for later. You’ll need your strength, Abby. Don’t let me keep you awake.” He seemed to be trying to persuade me to drift off, and I actually listened without putting up a fight, although it would have helped if he hadn’t done what he did next.

We never strayed from the road, but a little thrill went through me anyway, from the adrenaline of his eyes being off the road and the way he kissed me. I gasped for air as his lips enclosed around mine, and my heart beat loud and fast. He let go, and I sank back into the supple leather seat.

I leaned my head against the door, completely drained, and felt myself drifting off to sleep. The last thing I heard before I slipped off was Connor’s slight chuckle, and I knew that I was safe for the time being, no matter how long that block of time was.

The slow stopping of the car was what softly awakened me. I opened my eyes and was greeted by the soft, filtering light of dawn. I could make out the outline of Connor, reclined so effortlessly. I felt cool sweat on my neck, and instantly grew self-conscious.

“Well hello there, Abby.” Connor chided, and I felt my face melt into a slightly-irritated, somewhat-amused expression; I knew he was merely joking, laughing at my sleeping ways. “You blacked out there pretty well, after you stopped mumbling my name.” His lips played up into a smile, and it somehow made me think of how utterly beautiful he was, even in this low light and terrible situation.
“Shush. Just ‘cuz you don’t have to sleep, doesn’t mean that I don’t. Although, I’m sure that if you did, you’d be even more angelic than you already are..” I trailed off, caught up in the image my mind conjured up. I’d get him back somehow.
“Sure, blame it on the Angel in me; I’m not that gorgeous.” I just shook my head, and the grin that was there before spread even wider on his perfect face.
We were stopped at a gas station, and I took the opportunity willingly to freshen up; I was only human, after all. Connor got out and prepared to gas the car up, and I tried to slip out of the Porsche without bringing attention to myself. Right.
“Where do you think you’re going, my love?” he asked, and I just looked up at him.
“If you don’t mind, I’m going to use the bathroom, and maybe put my hair up? You know, hygiene?” I tried to keep a straight face, but my face refused to stay serious. I ended up laughing at the end, and walked to the glass-and-metal doors. As I opened one, I glanced back and saw Connor shaking his head, the grin still there.
I snuck back to the bathroom, put my hair up in the one ponytail holder I had left on my wrist, and splashed my face with water. My makeup was smeared, and purpley-black streaks made trails down my cheeks. If I had noticed how bad I looked before, I would have covered my face up in my sweater and hid. I paled so much in comparison to Connor.
The mascara-tears were washed away with the water, and I kept hoping my memories of last night would go away with them. I had up-and-left my mom, and she was in danger. So was I. The memory of Connor being angered to the point where it was scary flashed in my mind. Realizing again that we were fleeing from Connor’s own brother. It all seemed so surreal; nothing seemed to be true or actually happening.
I hurried myself and slipped back out of the bathroom after finishing up, and stopped by the wall of snacks and grabbed a granola bar; my stomach still needed food, even though I certainly didn’t feel like eating.
I glanced out the window while I paid for it, and saw Connor’s once-jovial face turned down into a frown while he talked into his cell phone. It wasn’t any average frown; it was a worried frown. I took my change and half-ran back to the car. Only then did I realize how rude I was for not buying him something, but then he talked.
“We need to get going. Now. Kyle said that he’s seen Max and the others roaming around in New York. If we leave now and get to North Carolina before tomorrow night, we should be alright, at least for awhile. Sit back again and relax; it’ll all be fine, Abby.”

I sat back down in my leather seat, perplexed and still uncomprehending. It was less than a second later when he was in his seat and staring blankly ahead. The tension in the air was almost palpable, and I knew my face was bound to look bemused.

Connor shook his head slightly, leaned over, and kissed me once. He eased his foot down on the pedal after putting the car into drive, and we were slowly easing back onto the highway.
He drove in silence for the span of hundreds of heartbeats, and I suddenly felt a pull in my chest that yearned for something other than running away from factors of life. The entire situation was so abrupt and unclear that my mind still couldn’t fathom ever being such a source of love, hate, and pain.
I let my mind wander over the events of the past few weeks as the buildings and homes flew by outside my window; going to the party with Kayla so long ago had started this domino effect of torrential pain that I was going through. So many emotions had surfaced that I hadn’t even known existed.
The party memories and how perfect that night had been began to swim out of focus, and my thoughts grasped the time afterwards: The pier, the cafe, the nice Irish man who knew my mom. It was all so.. perfect. And to learn of the darkness lying underneath the whole situation.. I just couldn’t believe.
A pang of sadness ran through me when I thought of Kyle’s innocent baby face; the pain that had been so apparent on it after Connor’s rudeness in the clearing was doomed to be forever imprinted in my mind. I adjusted myself slightly in the car and let my mind continue to wander.
I thought of the night at Connor’s place, with the beautiful gardens and architectural marvels. I wanted to somehow go back to then, to when the danger of Connor’s brother was simply an idea rather than actuality in my life. So little time had passed..
I glanced over at Connor and saw his serious face, his chiseled jaw jutting out a little and his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down slightly as he swallowed. I had the sudden urge to run my hand along that face, to comfort and hold and relish in the time I had, to ignore all the truth and dream of the day when I could just be his. I resisted and turned away.
The morning turned to afternoon, and I found myself continually drifting in and out of consciousness. I wasn’t exactly worried, since I had the best protection man could have, but I was kind of unnerved. I couldn’t comprehend what was going on; it was like my brain had put a dampener on itself and only the toned-down version of things could be absorbed.

I knew I had gone from basic, working-class high school student to fleeing, Angel-loving young adult in a matter of days, but that didn’t really mean anything. I also knew school was due to start in two days, but that didn’t even bother me. The thing that bothered me most was that I knew my mother was probably worried sick, but I just couldn’t bring myself to call her. I planned on doing it, but I just didn’t know when.

I let the thought leave, and turned my attention back on the road. We were on a bridge, hugging the median, when a black limo with dark-tinted windows drove by, at least doing our speed and another twenty miles an hour. It wasn’t something that really alarmed me, but then the sun penetrated the windows just enough for me to catch a glimpse of a person.

The profile of a chiseled face was the only thing I could make out, but it was easily recognizable. A scar running up the side of the figure’s face was a feature forever ingrained in my head.

Never in a million years could I have dreamed of why the secret Angelic meeting early in the morning surfaced in my head, but it did. And the puzzle all came together right then and there.

It was something I now remembered seeing frequently as a youngster, except then I hadn’t been afraid. Now, all I could think about was why I’d been so oblivious. That iconic scar belonged to the one person I could honestly say I feared more than Connor’s brother, and that man was my father.



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