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Slain
September 11, 2013
Summary:
David is a man of few words or worries. Then his family was murdered in cold blood. No one knows who did it or why, all David later knows is that he/she is targeting people he grew up with's families. Who did it? And why? Why did they kill the ten orphans' families?
EbonyKnight
Slain
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This book has 4 comments.
When I read this, I kept getting the feeling that this was just an outline. I mean, some parts are very well developed, like the dialogue, but other parts I feel need some expanding. Go further in-depth on the description. It might also be wise to give the reader a better sense of the time, or use some transitional sentences whenever a new scene starts so the reader doesn't get confused (I got used to it by the second chapter, but the first one confused me a little). Other than that, maybe use more showing language than telling language. Good luck on your writing.
EbonyKnight BRONZE said...
on Sep. 16 2013 at 7:55 am
Thanx, i'm really enjoying writing this, even i don't know who did it, tho i have an idea. thanx again, yur pretty good 2, btw.
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Favorite Quote:
"People, I've discovered, are like layers of secrets. You believe you know them, but their motives are always hidden from you, buried in their own hearts. You will never know them, but sometimes, you decide to trust them.
-Veronica Roth