When you think of something memorable in your life, do you think of a positive or negative memory? A lot of those memories that stick with you are not always positive, and I just made a new one.

Every hunter anticipates this day. Lots of time and money go into preparing for this day. Some call it Wisconsin’s extra holiday. It is deer hunting opener. I, like many others was very excited the Friday before, I couldn’t concentrate on anything all day at school except getting out to the stand early the next morning. Right after school I went to basketball practice, but again I couldn’t focus I was so distracted I had to run sprints, so I would pay attention. Eventually the coaches released us. I ran to my truck and drove over to a friend’s house, so we could all talk about our plans for the next morning. I got home later than I wanted to that night, but I set my alarm for 4:00am to get an early start on the day.

Finally, my alarm went off and for the first time I was excited to be up early. Quietly I snuck around my house getting all my warm clothes on, filled my thermos with steaming hot coffee, grabbed my keys and headed out the door. I was a little ahead of schedule, so I took my time driving to the land I hunt. It took me about twenty minutes, but I made it and was still on time to get out to my stand plenty early so I didn’t spook any deer. When I stepped out of my truck I was hit with the cold air that sent a chill down my spine with excitement. The walk to my stand took longer than usual because the leaves were frozen, and each step could be heard throughout the entire woods.
When I got into the stand I still had an hour before shooting light, so I decided it rest my eyes for a little bit. When I woke up there was a group of does forty yards from my stand. Excited to already seeing deer I was alert and looking around. I sat for four more hours, watching little does frolic in the woods, young bucks push around does, and squirrels burying their last acorns before winter sets in. even though it was cold, and I didn’t shoot anything I was enjoying the day so much I didn’t want to leave. That evening I didn’t see anything but still was excited to hunt the next morning
After I got out of the stand I met with my friends again only this time we were lucky enough to share our stories over a venison backstrap. My friend had shot a doe and made the perfect steaks. Cooked, but still a little red in the middle.
I had a very similar routine as the previous evening and morning. The only thing that was different this morning was the temperature. It was an uncomfortable seven degrees. I could see my breath on the walk into the woods. When I got into the stand I was so cold and excited I couldn’t relax. Only a half an hour after of sitting I heard the first movement of deer off to my right, then some more in front of me.

This early movement was a good sign for the day, but because it was still dark I was not able to tell what the movement was. After about a half an hour it was light enough to outline what was moving. To the right was a small doe and little spike buck that had a very bad limp. Although the spike was very small he had such a bad limp I was thinking about mercy killing him, so he didn’t have to suffer. Right when I was about to get my gun I heard the movement in front of me again.

I looked and couldn’t see anything at first, but then I saw the flicker of a tail. All I could see was the back half of a large deer but couldn’t see the head. It was only a few minutes, but it seemed like forever before I saw his head poke around the tree. When I saw what it was I immediately started shaking. It was a very nice ten point, not huge but a nice three-and-a-half-year-old buck. I raised the gun and rested it on the gun rest that surrounded me. I could see the buck in my sights but the vitals of the deer were still behind a tree, so I had to wait even more. This time I had my bare hand on the metal gun rest, I could feel myself getting frostbite.

Finally, ten minutes later the buck took a step and I was able to make a clean shot. I quickly put the sights right where the heart is, I felt the resistance of the trigger as I slowly pulled back. BOOM! My shot rang, and the woods fell silent. There was a large cloud of smoke after I shot but I saw the buck jog about twenty yards and stop. Shaking with adrenaline, I thought he was going to drop right there. But something was off, he wasn’t acting like he was shot. I quickly reloaded and fired another shot, this time he ran off with no problem. I had missed both times.

The feeling of missing was something different than I have ever experienced. A mix of anger at myself, disappointed, and sad. The hardest part was for the rest of that day and the day after all I could think about was what I could have done different, or what I did wrong in that moment. Missing that deer will be in my mind every time I go hunting I will never forget about that moment. Even two weeks later I can close my eves and vividly remember looking through that scope and pulling the trigger.

As much as I hated that moment, a little part of me is thankful for missing that buck. It just feeds to my passion of hunting and makes me even more excited for next year.