Everyone knows about cabbage. The most amazing, most delicious, green vegetable. No matter how it’s cooked, nothing will make me hate this crunchy, salty food.

And I know what you’re thinking. In a silly voice:  “Ewww! Cabbage is so gross!” In a normal voice: If you’re saying that, you clearly haven’t had quality cabbage. So, I’m about to list a few reasons why it’s the best vegetable.

First off, it’s really healthy for you. Because it’s great for your heart, you can eat as much as you want-- as long as you don’t get sick, of course. It’s nutritious served almost any way, though we don’t recommend drenching it in hot fudge or anything. I don’t think that would be a good idea, for obvious reasons.

Just another reason cabbage is the best is that no matter how it’s cooked, it’s always as scrumptious as usual. You could even While doing Jazz Hands: spice it up by adding butter, or even a little olive oil. Once, I ate 3 plates of cabbage for dinner, and nothing else. I was just as satisfied as I was after Thanksgiving the year before, and we didn’t even have peas that year! I didn’t feel well after either of those occasions, though. But it was worth it, since like I said earlier, cabbage is the best.

Being easy to cook and enjoyable, cabbage is easily prepared and eaten-- rather quickly-- for any meal. I’ve had it for every meal of the day: breakfast, lunch, dinner, even dessert! You can serve it as a side, as a meal, or with anything from chicken to ham. It’s easily the most versatile vegetable. Eat it in a bowl with a fork. When you use the bowl, it gets the cabbage all in one spot so you can stab it with your fork, and shove it in your mouth. It also separates the best food from that other trash while you’re trying to eat just cabbage. I highly recommend that battle tactic While doing weird karate arms: for eating cabbage.

So, now you know that if someone says they think cabbage is disgusting,While coughing: like their attitude, Talk normally: then just glare at that snake, and list all of these valid reasons as to why cabbage is amazing. You’ll either persuade them and become closer, or you’ll just shake off that evil cabbage hater you once knew. Cabbage haters are no friends of mine. They can take their trashy mushrooms elsewhere. Those squishy nuggets of despair are no match for cabbage! Then again, nothing is a match for cabbage.