5'2", 140 pounds. This means nothing to you right? To me, it is a shadow that follows me everywhere, lurking behind corners and trees, ready to strike just when I think I'm having a pretty good day. I see friends, strangers, relatives who weigh 100 pounds, 110 pounds, a dream that is out of my reach. You are probably thinking, Stop whining and go on a diet. Easier said than done.

The Weight Loss Clinic, the Diet Workshop, the bean sprout diet, the rice cake diet, the don't diet diet, I've been on all of them, and failed at all of them. The Hostess Company is always one step ahead of me, putting the Ho-Ho's next to the Slim Fast and the Ring-Dings next to the celery. A dirty trick, true, but it works.

My friends say, "You are not fat! You look fine!" Maybe in a baggy sweater, but put me in a bathing suit and you wouldn't see a beach clear faster if there were a shark in the water! All adults have names for me - "chunky," "hefty," "she has meat on her bones," and my favorite, "PP"(pleasantly plump). Every one cuts like a knife.

I imagine the day when I will walk down the street and gorgeous guys will gasp at my inner beauty, but I'm not holding my breath! I know that there are kids worse off than I, but where are they? I only see cheerleaders, future models and prom queens.

Don't get me wrong, there are advantages to being overweight. I don't have to worry about my boyfriend cheating on me because I don't have a boyfriend. I also don't have to search for the perfect bikini - I'm afraid the roar of the laughter would scare some herd of buffalos in Canada or something.

This is turning into a full-fledged pity party so I will leave you with my favorite saying, "I'm not fat, I'm just short for my weight!" n