“It takes a strong person to remain single in a world that is so accustomed to settling with anything just to say they have something” -Unknown 

The hardest part about growing up is change, physically and mentally. As humans it is our natural instinct to fear the unknown. Change doesn’t always feel good, nor is it fun to go through. With all of these changes, I had to learn how to be okay during and after “change.” 

    With that being said, I was always okay with the physical changes like puberty because you have to be, but I was not prepared for everything else. I grew up wanting to be this likable person that was friends with everyone and I always felt like I had something to prove to others. I was so inclined to explain myself for doing things that I did or feeling the way I felt that I began to try and maintain that “perfect” reputation. Constantly, I worried about making the wrong move or saying the wrong thing. That is no way to live and in a way you become a slave to people’s expectation of you. From my parents to my peers, I always felt that they held me to a higher standard and I made it my job to meet that standard. However, I always found myself unhappy. I was going above and beyond to be perfect for everyone, what could possibly be the problem? Everyone was happy, but me. 

    This leads me into the experience that helped me become unapologetically me. Second semester of my sophomore year of high school, I went through so much change Due to a surplus of situations, I lost all of my closest friends that I thought I would graduate with. Everyone believed different rumors about me and they never asked me to clarify if those rumors were true. Every day there was a new rumor that did not align with the perfect, likable reputation I always worked so hard to maintain. Day by day all the friendships that I made from freshman year quickly dissolved. I thought to myself, “This couldn’t have been the highschool experience everyone spoke so highly of.” It hurt and it was a lonely period in my life when I had no one to talk to. Some days I didn’t even want to go to school because of the way people avoided me. Even with all the change taking place around me, I still was trying to prove to everyone that I was the same me I’d always been. During the change, I didn’t understand why all of my friends were believing things that were untrue and why they all turned their back on me. That was until I had my moment of truth.

    I fell out of love with the expectations of what people wanted me to be. I began to be okay with people not liking me for whatever reason that wanted to. I grew tired of trying to explain my side of the story. I stopped worrying about what people were saying about me and whether it was true or not. The only thing I could do was be accountable for what I do and say, which doesn't require explaining my every action. Was it hard being alone? Absolutely, but I am grateful for that experience to be able to learn how to embrace change. It is in solidarity that you find the beauty in self love. Change isn’t pretty, it’s a lot of disappointment and tears, but it is necessary for growth in all aspects of life.