An Unjust Trial | Teen Ink

An Unjust Trial

March 1, 2022
By Anonymous

When in court you're entitled to certain rights, the right to a jury of your peers, an impartial judge, a lawyer of your choosing etcetera. Possibly the two most important ones though are the right to plead however you want and the right to not incriminate yourself in the face of the court of law. Yet, with all of my other rights abandoned, I stand in front of the jury, the judge, and the audience and firmly claim “I’m guilty.” 
*** 
I was 7 or 8 years old, my family had just finished dinner when my parents sat my siblings and I down for an especially important discussion, the one where they told us they were atheists. I remember one of us asking, “What’s that?” as we had heard of very few other religions than our own faith. You see, up until this point my household was Catholic. We went to church. My siblings and I were baptized. We went to Sunday school. My sister had had her holy communion. So, when this happened, it was a tremendous change for us. 
Of course, it was not easy for us all to understand and accept nor was it easy for them to tell us. I mean it took my dad two years just to tell my mom. And let’s just say she did not like the idea. At least not at first. It wasn’t just that both of them had been raised Catholic, it was that my mother had lost faith in God as a teen due to many health problems she experienced. My dad was the one who made her believe again. She viewed him as a blessing from heaven, and now her blessing was telling her the place he was sent from wasn’t real. Though, they eventually got through the disagreements and my mom eventually agreed with my dad’s outlook on the world. And as soon as that happened, they explained everything to us. 
*** 
It is no shock to anyone that I confessed as such. After all, they already know. And what good would fighting back do anyway? My lawyer already knew I was guilty of this crime and it isn’t like I’m paying him to help me or anything. Even if I was innocent, the jury had already decided their verdict the moment they heard the charge. To them it’s the most atrocious crime possible. To me it’s something minor that can easily be resolved. So why not admit to it?  
*** 
Being a child, it wasn’t really that hard for me to accept. It was confusing and weird, but it wasn’t like my parents forced me to be an atheist, no in fact the exact opposite. They said I could believe whatever I wanted. That they wouldn’t judge me if I didn’t agree with them and that I’d still be their child whom they loved no matter what my views were. The same went for my siblings of course. Though adapting to the mindset was still easy for me. Learning that God wasn’t real was the same as a child learning Santa isn’t. It just made sense. 
The only real problem with it was at school. You see, I didn’t know that being an atheist was a controversial thing. I didn’t even know it was a thing before my parents told me and if my church taught me about it, I certainly wasn’t listening. So, when I came into class one day and started telling practically everyone that I was an atheist, I got some interesting responses. Almost everyone started by asking me “What’s that?” much like my siblings and I asked our parents. But as soon as I explained it most told me things like “You know people go to hell for that, right?” which made me confused because, to me, hell wasn’t real anymore. 
*** 
I try to stay calm as the prosecutor rants and raves to the judge about how my crime is unforgivable and how I should be sent to the worst prison imaginable. I don’t really understand what the big deal is. It’s like they think that if I do one thing that goes against what they believe is right it means that I’m a completely immoral and irredeemable person.  
From where I stand though, I have more morals than them as, based on their laws, they’re condemning people to the worst punishments for stupid and pointless things. Some of them prosecute people for their gender, others their sexuality, and others the color of their skin. All of which cannot be changed. Though I do have respect for those who have abandoned certain laws in favor of a more accepting environment. 
*** 
Now that I’m older, it isn’t too big a deal that I’m an atheist. Most people say “cool” and then move on. Though there always comes a person who judges me immediately and thinks I’m a complete immoral person. It gives me a headache whenever it happens as I end up explaining to them that: yes, I do understand stealing from others is wrong and, yes, I understand that lying and manipulation is wrong. Then there are those who say, “You just have to have faith that God exists,” whenever I ask for a shred of proof beyond the Bible. But that just means believing something is true despite a lack of evidence. I need evidence to think something’s real because without relying on it, anything could be real. 
There are also the times when my own family tries to change our minds, or I should say our parents’ minds as most of my family doesn’t know my siblings and I are atheists. One example that happened quite recently is when, for Christmas, my grandparents bought my mom and dad a Bible. A Bible. And yeah, they gave their still-Catholic children Bibles as well, but that still doesn’t change the fact that it was disrespectful to our beliefs. It genuinely hurts to see them do that kind of stuff. I know they are just trying to set us on what they believe is the right path. At the same time though, they need to understand that we aren’t just going to change our minds because they want us to. That’s why I’m thankful for all the people in my life who don’t judge me based on something that, at the end of the day, is only a part of who I am. 
*** 
Now it is time for the judge to decide on my punishment. Everyone in the audience is insisting on the maximum sentence, the jury and prosecutor are insisting I deserve it and my lawyer says nothing to defend me. I stand there silently, ignoring all those around me claiming I’m a demon, claiming I’m the devil himself. I simply wait for my punishment, not even a drop of fear coursing through my veins.  
What reason do I have to be afraid? When I look at the so-called “judge” they all worship, I don’t see anything. I don’t believe in the prison they say I will be sent to, where I will be tormented for the rest of eternity. To me it’s all fiction, stories written by some mad man who claims to be a prophet. I don’t believe in it; they have shown me nothing to make me believe in it. So, until either they manage to make me believe, or I die, I stand on trial, being judged by these people. People who believe I’ll be punished by a God who isn’t even real.


The author's comments:

This piece is about how I became an atheist and the position I've been put as a result. As with any form of bigotry, I have faced both direct and indirect judgements about me based on this one facet of who I am. This has caused me to feel like I am always on trial, being prosecuted against for something I don't even view as a crime. Being "punished" by some one I don't even think is real. But in the end, all I can do is wait for the day that I'm proven wrong or right.

To be clear this isn't meant to hate on religion or those who are religious. I do not think that we all need to share the same beliefs in order to exist in the same society. I simply wrote this to express my frustration with how I am being judged for not sharing the same beliefs as others.


Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.