Have you ever felt your confidence break right when you caught sight or had a thought of someone or something? The feeling of walking through a hallway that you know has eyes or having an anchor fall onto you right when you promised yourself to have a good day. The feeling where you wish to crawl into bed and hide under a blanket to where no one can see. All because of a thought or look?

I've never been fond of the past. Yet when I say it, I can't help but remember everything. The smiles I would share or even the fake giggles just to fit in. That was when I thought everything was perfect. But all I now do is insult every memory I get. How could I hate something so much when 8th-grade me could not?

All the eyes or snickers shared. Just because of something that happened a year ago? But she does it too, so why not I? Why shouldn't I joke around and comment when she does the same thing about me? A class that I would love would turn into something I despise. We've all had the walk of shame, the idea of how we all know about the impending fate waiting to greet us. My grades would topple, not because of the heavy work of a class but because of the ill feeling of those eyes on me.

But why do I care? "Why should I care?" is the question I ask myself. Throughout my thoughts about a time that no longer lingers. Scott Kelly states in the article "To Build Resilience in Isolation, Master the Art of Time Travel," "In isolation, time becomes meaningless." I notice that all my conceptions are more about the years gone by.

I've never been fond of the past. But as I say it today, I care. I care about what happened back then, like how the writer of "To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time" cares about young girls' pasts, stating how they should "Gather ye rose-buds while ye may." And I care about all of the events that have happened. But not In a hostile way because the past is me. I believe that I've learned from my past. The quote from "The Teen Brain" Newsela's article supports this because it explains, "Just like during childhood, teenage brains go through a lot of growth." Every incident and outcome has created me as a person. I shouldn't hate the past; In fact, no one should. Everyone should learn from it. Just as George Santayana said, "Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it."