Idealistic Love Isn't Actually Realistic | Teen Ink

Idealistic Love Isn't Actually Realistic

June 5, 2019
By sdarnell BRONZE, Wildwood, Missouri
sdarnell BRONZE, Wildwood, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
'You can make a bad book into a good book, but you can't make anything out of a blank page,"


Everyone has seen the cliche film where perfect characters fall in love. Sure, there’s one argument that obviously gets resolved, but everything ends the same; the perfect relationship. Most of these cliche stories are marketed to teenagers, but they set an impossible standard. The idea that love is a perfect, dream-like state is garbage.

Unfortunately, most teengers adore this idea and wish to have relationships like those they see. I’m not saying teenagers shouldn’t date; they’re more than welcome to as long as everyone is happy. My point is that teenagers are being sold the idea that love and relationships are perfect; the perfect partner, the perfect dates, and the perfect resolution to any argument. It doesn’t work like that, nor should anyone believe it does.

We’re teenagers; we’re awkward, confused, and trying to figure things out. People make mistakes, they screw up, and things aren’t perfect. The stories teens are fed constantly show unrealistically attractive people paired together.

Even worse, whenever there’s a teenage love-story, the ‘teenagers,’ are played by 20-something year olds who look nothing like any real teenager. For example, ‘Riverdale,’ is meant to be about students in their sophomore year of high school. Most of the cast members are about 25 years old. These shows set the standard that teenagers should look both like actors and older people in order to be the ‘perfect,’ person.

Recently there’s been a surge of Netflix teenage love-story movies like, ‘To All The Boys I’ve Ever Loved,’ and ‘The Kissing Booth.’ Both feature actors who are stereotypically attractive and around 20 years old. This is specifically noticeable in the male love interests.

They’re tall, have six packs, and are, again, considered ‘perfect,’ by the protagonist. They’re the coolest guys in school and the ‘dream boy.’ This stereotype of the perfect guy is beyond stupid when considering these films’ target audience. No teenager should be expected by their peers to look or act like a scripted, ‘attractive’ character.

The idea that guys have to have abs or need to have a specific personality to be attractive only harms people. Fitting this ideal is nearly impossible for teenagers and shouldn’t be the standard because it only makes people feel worse about themselves.

This also applies to girls, as most female romance characters are portrayed as quiet but pretty people who fall for a guy who’s ‘out of her league,’ convincing teenage girls that looks determine their chances at dating someone and that they should be saved by some handsome jock is awful and only makes teenagers want unattainable romances more.

I’ve seen so many posts on instagram reveling in how cute everyone thinks these actors are, saying ‘I wish a guy like this went to my school.’ Guys like that don’t exist outside of movie because real people have flaws. Nobody should look to characters as inspiration for a perfect relationship. If teenagers spend their time longing for a relationship with the ‘perfect,’ person and hope it will somehow make their lives indescribably better, they have another thing coming.

Relationships take work and time to happen; they don’t happen in a week by some coincidence that takes them on a magical journey. In order for it to work, both parties have to understand each other’s flaws and insecurities. Basing relationship standards off of 20-something year old actors who’ve been given a script to make themselves the perfect partner is the worst thing a teenager could do.

We live in the real word, not the one of Netflix originals


The author's comments:

This piece was written for my high school newspaper during the time the movies mentioned were released. I find that the message is still applicable today, as I see people pining over guys that don't exist constantly (including my friends)


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