What's the best lesson an ex has ever taught you?

— There's a lot of people that you can call an "ex", an ex-best friend, an ex-significant other, I could go on but that would probably take too long. But in relation to the question, I have a story so uh grab your popcorns I guess? Well, back in the 9th grade there's this guy and for some reason, I became very close to him and before you know it, I caught feelings for him.

It started off as a happy crush. Well in my own terms, a happy crush is when you're happy just by seeing this specific person. Like you're not into deep. It was just like that at first. But we became very close which resulted in me catching deeper feelings. The whole 9th grade I spent my days with him going home with me, eating with him outside after school, laughing at his corny jokes because I know it gives him some type of validation and also because some of it was really funny, we spent so many days together, I actually got attached to him. I think he knew I liked him, I was actually letting him know about my feelings because hey who knows maybe we're on the same page? But yeah, I kept on dropping hints about how much he meant to me, I wanted to let him know that I liked him and not in a friendly way. A lot of people knew I liked him and he's not that naive to not feel it. So I kept on sending corny pick-up lines to him and what's confusing is whenever I send stuff like that to him, he would send one back. So don't blame me if I got my hopes up and actually thought we could be something more.

But sadly, he had to move to another country. It hurts, but I know it’s what’s best for him and his future. So to make the long story short, I never got the chance to tell him what I really felt at that time. The last time I saw him was on the last day of school, we were going home together and at that time I was thinking, ”I’m gonna tell him what I feel” and as we were walking near to where I live, which means we’re gonna part ways and that’s the last I’ll ever see him, I knew I had to do it. So I called him, and when he turned around I was about to say the words ”I really like you” but those words never came out and instead I said,” take care of yourself when you move there ah?”  and he smiled. The smile that made me fall deeper for him. We still talk, but not like before, because he's busy there with school and work and other stuff.

So, 4 years later I'm still here thinking about him even though I know I probably never cross his mind. I'm still here thinking about what could've happened if I took the chance and told him what I truly felt. Would he say he likes me back? Would he say he only thinks of me as a friend? Would he say it wouldn't work because being in a long-distance relationship is hard for both of us? 4 years later, I'm still here and I don't know if I'll ever get out. I really want to. Every time I start to develop feelings for someone, my mind somehow comes back to him and how nice things could've been. So here I am, waiting for him to come back because maybe, I could finally tell him how much I like him and how he never left my mind. So yeah, I think the best lesson an ex ever taught me is that I should be more open with confrontations even though it might lead to rejection, I should learn how to take risks instead of just staying in my comfort zone. Because look at me, I have a lot of unanswered questions on my mind and I am dying to know the answers to it but it seems like I'm not getting them anytime soon.