To The Readers in What We Talk About When We Talk About Love | Teen Ink

To The Readers in What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

November 5, 2023
By Anonymous

Humans in society possess a rather clear common ethical sense of what is moral and immoral. We were taught by birth, from others, personal experiences and even moral testimony on the black-and-white morality of the world. Our conscience and rationality hold judgement to what we should and should not do. However, if we look at what Charles Baudelaire said in To The Readers, : “our sins are stubborn, our repentance is cowardly; We ask high prices for our vows, And we gaily return to the muddy road. Believing we will wash away all our spots with vile tears.” A quote suggesting our relationship with sins. When Adam and Eve bite into the Forbidden fruit, humans are gifted with the temptation of evil. A temptation that is arduous to resist. We are naturally drawn to the sins and the feelings of excitement as well as the attachments that come with it. There exists a brink line, and many confusions between temptation and love. It is said that the feeling of falling and being in love is much like the sensation of being addicted to drugs with the release of mesmerizing euphoria. It is illogical and capable of driving people to insane places. It can be argued that it is way easier to fall in love than to get out of a relationship with a loved one. Love comes with emotional attachment and greed. For example, In What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, it can be seen that even though Terri, who was in an abusive relationship, acknowledged the fact that Ed was in some degree “crazy” (line 25), still insisted that her abuser loved her and stayed in the relationship for a while. With a further analysis of the two works mentioned from above, I believe it is reasonable to argue that Terri can be described as a “Baudelairian” character. Thus, I would conclude by saying that people act in self-contradictory ways because humans are naturally drawn, and sometimes tend to get used to the problematic side of relationships on a subconscious level as we are born with temptations. Love, in this case, would only work as a catalyst which might have further pushed the characters to act in illogical ways that contradicts with their rational thoughts.

In Charles Baudlaire’s poem “To the Readers'', a concept of temptation and human nature can be seen. Baudlaire implies that humans sin repeatedly as our actions and will are controlled by the devil. The poet begins by the author stressing on how humans are wrapped up in sins. The factor that leads people to eventually confess is the guilt we gain after sinning that is no different from vermin breeding on beggars.  Suggesting that our remorse and confessions are more ritualistic rather than sincere, along with the fact that they are ultimately useless in the end as humans will repeatedly return to sinning by that we are drawn to temptations. The author illustrates the always curious and tempted nature of humanity by painting an image of a mighty devil. “It is the Devil who pulls the strings that move us! In repulsive objects we find enticing lures. Each day we go down one more step toward Hell.” The enticing lures in this case represent the excitement that comes with immoral actions. While also proposing that the devil is the one responsible for our sins as he is the one in control of us. Baudlaire also put forward an image of the devil rocking “our” “bewitched minds'' (Baudelaire 29). Vaporizing “our '' will like metals and compel “us' ' to become attracted to sinful actions that lead us closer to ''hell''.

Continuing on a further analysis on What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, it is evident that in the story that Terri recognizes the abusive and immoral nature of her previous relationship. Aside from the part where Terri admitted their relationship was “crazy” (Carver 1),  it can also be seen from the story even when Terri was trying to convince everyone that Ed loved her: “But Mel's right-- we lived like fugitives. We were afraid. Mel was, weren't you, honey? I even called the police at one point….”  (Carver 2), showing that she was aware of the violence.

So what made Terri stay in the relationship for all that time and believe that there was love even after parting? It is undeniable that Terri beard loves/loves Ed. She was willing to back Ed up and carry sorrowful emotions for him even after the darkness of their relationships. In addition, it can be seen from the texts that her attraction to problematic elements are more obvious than most people. She is described as a quite unconventional person with her style and speech of choice. Her current partner, Mel, once described Terri as part of the “kick-me-so-you-know-me-club” (Carver 1). Terri’s view on love can be considered toxic. It may even appear to some people that she is masochistic. She suggests that Ed’s violence is an acceptable part of love and can even be condoned. Terri attempts to position Ed as a sort of victim of love, even though his actions had more to do with his own issues than love itself. However, it is very important to realize the very situation Terri was under in the story, as it is similar to what lots of women are also facing in patriarchal society. For an adequate amount of time, victims in these relationships would feel trapped in a harmful environment where they feel incapable of getting out. Some would even get addicted from intermittent reinforcement, like mice desperately pushing food levers for food rounds after rounds without getting any. It is in no way that I’m implying that Terri stayed in the abusive relationship for that she was solely attracted to abuse, but the fact that she embraces the dark and ugly type of love. On top of that, it is also indicated in the story that Terri did refer to Ed’s abusive actions as love. Terri gave rise to a question of “what do you do with love like that?” (carver 1) after recalling Ed beating and dragging her one night. From here, we can come to a conclusion that Terri, in one way or another, considers abusive action as love. She then further implies her appreciation for Ed’s action by saying that those are Ed’s own way of loving (Carver 1). Terri’s temptation can be seen throughout the story from the remaining feelings she bears for Ed, along with the fact that despite knowing Ed’s deeds were crazy, she was still drawn to the so-called existing love in their relationship, and continues to urge validation and empathy on the relationship.    

Furthermore, I believe that the love that Terri bears for Ed was in a way used subconsciously in advantage of her on top of the foundation that she appreciated all of Ed’s “love”. She was willing to focus on the little benevolent things Ed did and unreasonably resonate Ed’s abusive actions under the name of love. “It was love,' Terri said. 'Sure, it's abnormal in most people's eyes. But, he was willing to die for it. He did die for it.” with that, I would conclude that with Terri’s peculiar perception of love, the love she felt for Ed, and her temptation was able to bring Terri away from her rational senses and further convince herself that Ed did truly love her and left her lingering, in spite of the fact that she did realize the danger of Ed even when their relationship has yet come to an end.

Finally, we can make a comparison between Terri in “what we talk about when we talk about love” and the concepts illustrated in “To The Readers' '. Overall, I believe Terri can be shown to be a minute piece of reflection of the “we” (the “readers' ') being discussed in “To the Readers' ' by Charles Baudlaire. Although Terri is not the one visibly performing “sins' ', she was helplessly attracted to the “unique style of love' ' Ed gives. She was willing to repeatedly go back to and stay at Ed’s side while acknowledging the danger of the person. With the “polite remorse” (Baudelaire 3) Terri was being fed with after Ed’s suicidal attempts, she still managed to stay by Ed’s side and bear sympathetic feelings for her abuser.  Both works present concepts of characters in the face of different temptations. The difference between the readers in Baudlaire’s work and Terri lies in the fact that Terri’s action was also influenced by love. Which may have also worked as something similar to a catalyst in the process of pushing Terri to an illogical road.  In conclusion, I believe that as different characters in stories encounter love dilemmas, the temptation buried in human’s blood that we were with is the factor that leads these characters to act in self-contradictory ways.


The author's comments:

this is a literary analysis on how the characters in What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Carver can be seen and broken down by the traits discussed in To The Readers by Charles Baudelaire. 

 

trigger warning: mention of abusive relationship, controversial opinions on psychology


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