One day, as I was innocently strolling down the hallway towards my 7th period class, I found myself blocked by a pair of teenagers who were, well, appreciating each other with fervent gusto. Skirting around making out couple #5, I thought (yet again) “What’s the use of these high school relationships?” Watching adolescents my age, clasping each other and exchanging suggestive secretive smiles – what’s the point?

I know that falling in love is a natural part of life, it makes you feel special, (blah blah blah), but is that really what a teenager truly wants? To have their happiness riding on a few words, their self-esteem and composure perilously in the power of one person? Most likely, a volatile teenager with emotional and hormonal swings? Holy Shakespeare, what kind of self insurance is that?

You may be thinking, but what about the people that married at age 12 around four hundred years ago? What about Romeo and Juliet?

Perfect example. Romeo and Juliet died. They both had extremely suicidal tendencies and neither had a gram of self preservation by the end of the book. Back four hundred years ago? Girls were practically regarded as cows! Some relationship descriptions included the word “wife-beater”.

Yes, I know that teenagers are filled with raging hormones. But isn’t this a good time to practice self-control? Wouldn’t you rather bide your time for a Rhett Butler, Sydney Carton, or Mr. Darcy instead of a Tom Sawyer? High school is a valuable stage of life. Scholarship opportunities, community service, jobs, sports, and musical activities are waiting to be taken advantage of. Now is the time where you have to spend your resources wisely, eliminate distractions, and focus. This is when we can nurture and develop ourselves.

Nowadays, infatuations, crushes, break-ups, stalking, and whatever else the kids are doing these days, are large sources of conversation and drama. People fret about being single, but what’s wrong with that? You gain free time and control. There’s plenty of time for romance after high school (and no, I haven’t been speaking with your mother).

I fully support the practice of marriage, baby production, and amorous strolls along the beach. Just don’t rush or feel pressured into things. Refrain from jumping into a big puddle of crazy just because you want magical love – that’s why toy poodles were created.

No, I am not going to become a nun. Yes, from the way things look, I am probably going to have to pay someone to escort me to prom. Perhaps you feel differently than I do. Maybe I have the romanticism of a gold fish and just haven’t seen the light. Don’t get me wrong – I idolize Magnus Bane and Sherlock Holmes as much as the next person (perhaps a bit more). But why tie yourself down when there are so many other venues of life to explore?

Just remember, relationships may come and go but chocolate is immortal!

It’s up to you to decide whether my racy love life’s philosophy is a truth or a lie.