Do you know what it's like to have your life ruled by someone who isn't even here anymore? To have to worry about and be jealous of someone who is dead? I have been tourmented by dead people since I was thirteen. First, my uncle, he died when I was thirteen and even though he was my best friend everyone would compare me to him. It was exscrusciating. Secondly, my boyfriend's ex, I'm head over heels in love with a boy and he is amazing. I love him so much, but he was in love before me and she passed away. I know it's not right but I'm jealous of her. I'm jealous of the time she got with him and that she got to feel his love before me. I'm jealous that I had honestly never been in love before and he had. I'm jealous that he still loves her in a way that he'll never love me. They had four years together. They were happy. In the back of my head I worry that I'll never be able to make him happy in the way that she did. I compare myself to her all the time in even the smallest of cases. I live in fear and jealousy. It's misserable. But I love him so much and I know he loves me. I don't know why I have these feelings or thoughts. Maybe I'm crazy, or unbelievably possessive but I'm curious if even though the dead are gone are they still here? In our thoughts, hearts, and lives? Do the dead haunt us even if we can't see them? Are they still here because we feel guilt over them, love for them, pity? My view is that the dead are gone, they're never coming back, but then why are the ones I have, or others I know, have lost still always in my mind? Do we keep them alive even if we believe they are gone forever? Do they even want to be remembered?