Crush Crushed | Teen Ink

Crush Crushed

May 28, 2014
By JessicaWu SILVER, Brooklyn, New York
JessicaWu SILVER, Brooklyn, New York
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

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You feel a wave of giddiness wash over you after you receive a text message from that special someone in your biology class. You’re squealing, because after of months of trying to get his/her attention, the person just sent a message agreeing to date you. The daydreamed fantasies about spending the rest of your life with your new partner in happiness suddenly seem realistic. This adolescent delusion masks the possibility of the person mistreating you, breaking your heart, or even making you lose faith in love. Getting into a relationship is one of the most regretful things teenagers can do to themselves.
Most adolescents begin relationships between the ages 15-18. In fact, it’s proven by a Children Nowlkaiser Permanente poll that 89% of people between the ages 13-18 claim to have already experienced at least one romantic endeavor. During these years, teenagers begin to crave romantic relationships rather than simple casual socializing or friendship they’re used to. However, their brains aren’t developed enough and don’t have the requisite experience and knowledge to determine who’s the right or wrong person for them. Adolescents also tend to go through extreme emotional instability and exhibit reckless behavior, which prevents them from being able to handle the stress or responsibility of dating.
When teenagers get into a relationship, their minds clutter. Our thoughts start circle around their partner, causing a huge distraction from adolescents’ other priorities, like their educational commitment and concentration on their skills. It’s even harder to balance the responsibilities of dating with today’s stress and competition for good grades. Relationships also cause us to grow distant from family and friends because of the increasing time spent with the partner. People may even neglect their hobbies, talents, and aptitude by focusing on one person. This distraction can ruin their future career and add unnecessary pressure.
A young relationship can also be regretful due to teenage dating abuse. According to a study done by Teenage Research Unlimited, one in three adolescents in the US are victims of domestic violence, physical or verbal. Many of us teenagers don’t know better than to be hurtful in an attempt to exert more power and control over their partner. It may be a person shoving and beating his/her partner violently, or it can be someone cursing and screaming insults. We don’t understand that leaving the partner or telling an adult is the right solution. Instead, most victims end up staying with the partner out of fear. Being tormented like this puts teenagers at a higher risk of substance abuse, eating disorders, suicide, and experiencing domestic violence in the future.
Many relationships are sexually stimulated, because hormones drive the adolescents rather than logic. Young people nowadays are pressured into having sex, which increases the rate of getting STDs and even becoming pregnant. In fact, the main rise in teen pregnancy is among girls who are younger than 15. The bullying and shame that come with sex can be exceptionally hard to endure for a vulnerable adolescent. TeenHelp says that by the age of 30, only 1.5% of teenage mothers have a college degree.Giving in once to a pushy partner can lead to major life complications.
In young relationships, the adorable hand holding and hugs soon evolve into the typical excessive consumption of ice cream and sobbing, resulting from the way they all end- with a break up. An average high school relationship lasts only about 4 weeks, and break up at the end of those weeks drive negativity into adolescents, making them angry, aggressive, withdrawn, and depressed. Boys tend to respond by emitting loads of frustration, while girls may keep their feelings of worthlessness boiling inside. Abnormal behavioral tendencies evolve as well, such as commitment issues. It’s pointless to start dating someone if it’s most likely going to end, leaving great emotional damage.
Despite these scarring possibilities, some people claim that teenage relationships are good learning experiences. They feel as if having a boyfriend or a girlfriend can give minors the blueprint of how a relationship works and what kind of person they’re attracted to. This may be true, but putting you and your partner through the stress of dating at that age just isn’t worth it. You can do the same later in life, when you’re more mature and can support yourself. Others also say that adolescents learn how important respect, unselfishness, and having good communication skills are. This isn’t often the case, because most of adolescent relationships lack those in the first place. It would take a long time before we realize that this lack was a flaw after a relationship ends.
The teenage years are an awfully sensitive territory. They’re too young to understand what a healthy relationship consists of. Dating during this tender age can introduce you to the anxiety and stress that you need to experience until you’re an adult. You should just steer away from relationships and having senseless, short-lived crushes. Stop wasting your time trying to impress them. Instead, spend your days making friends, experiencing great memories with them, and devoting more attention to finishing your homework before a class starts or getting a spot on the volleyball team. Avoiding romantic relationships allows us adolescents to focus more on the more bright and positive aspects of adolescence.



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