To - R

There is this boy I know, that I think is really cute, charming, sweet, and trustworthy. His name is R. Everyday when I wake up, I cannot get R out of my head and I hate and love it but it is hard to concentrate when a cute and amazing boy is on your mind all the time. I thought that we would be perfect together until one day, I heard he had a girlfriend. This kinda broke my heart but maybe it was the kickstart to get me to stop thinking about him. But look I am writing this about him so I obviously cannot get him off my mind no matter what I have tried. I love him too much to let my brain erase him from my mind or just ignore what I really want to see and think about. Because truth be told R if you are reading this I want you to know that I LOVE YOU!!! And I do not mean in the friendly kinda way, I feel like we might have a future together, and I have to tell you I felt this connection when I first got your number over the summer leading to eighth grade. Every Time I start to think about you, my body starts to shiver because I am worried that I might lose you as a friend or more. I swear if I ever let you read this or if someone who really does not like me posts this as revenge, I just want to let you know that we may always be friends but you are like a full on brother to me better than my half brother who is in school. I guess I had a bunch to write because I have a feeling this blog/letter/diary entry that I am writing about and for you is never going to end, but sometimes we have to say our goodbyes and sometimes we have to say our hellos. I swear if I could redo all of my conversations with you, I would. I would do all over again because I would get to feel the love from some one who actually cares about besides my parents, which means the world to me. I just want to tell you that when you told me that you would always be there for me and I said the same back I felt a piece of my heart fill in, the missing piece, I think you have the key to my heart and I hope you use it wisely. Now I hope you know that it pains me to say goodbye to someone that i know, love, and trust but sometimes we have to do things we do not like to do.

So I am signing off,
From -E