Trigger warning; slight mentions of depression, rape, and suicide. (I mean, it’s 13 Reasons Why)
*For privacy, names are changed

“Keep your poems clean girls, stay on the topic. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
Our English teacher dismisses us, and immediately half my classmates leave, already having packed their bags so eager for class to end.
“Season two of 13 Reasons Why comes out tomorrow.”  I overhear Nicky from across the room. Then Maya’s voice; “Yes! I’m so excited I love it so much. It’s just a beautiful way to show what goes on in this world.”
I pause from packing my backpack. My fists clench andI take a deep breath. *Don’t say anything. You know how it ends.*. I feel the words trying to push up out of my throat. I focus on the wall I’ve so easily put up before,but they’re so desperate to erupt,shoot out of my mouth. “Are you serious?”
“What?” Maya challenges me, “It’s a really good show.”
“So you have no idea  how problematic it is? Wow.” I spit out, the words rolling from my tongue before I can help it.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard before, not just from you- ‘It’s inaccurate… it’s triggering, blah, blah, blah.” Nicky says.
I should just give up, let them be with their naive ideas of “triggered” and their inability to listen or empathize. I can’t: “‘Triggered’ doesn’t simply mean being caused to get a bit pissed off or irate-”
“Exactly what you are right now.” Nicky states. But they’re looking at me, so I take a deep breath, nostrils flaring.
I answer, a knot in my chest, “Triggered is full blown panic attacks, intense emotions. When something hits someone in a deeply personal and painful way, digs at their sensitivities.”
“That’s just your opinion.”
*Um, no, that’s literally what it means, at least for people who feel those emotions.* I sew my mouth shut to keep myself from saying this outloud. I don’t retort. I give up on the conversation, quickly stuff the rest of my books in my bag, and rush off so quickly I feel my backpack bouncing up and down as I head down the grimy staircase.
There’s so much more I wanted to say about Thirteen Reasons Why. But people can be so incapable of listening when what they are hearing inconveniences their own opinions or enjoyment.
So what would I have said?
Thirteen Reasons Why hits people. Yes, it does cover topics of the “real world”, such as depression, rape, and suicide. However, not in the right way. It makes these topics appear “beautifully sad”, just as the girl said. Depression isn’t “stunningly sad”, rape isn’t “touchingly tragic”, suicide isn’t “divinely devastating”. So for people who have never experienced any of these, they go on to see it this way and grow a feeling of pity. They naively believe they can empathize with people who go through these truthfully ugly, painful things. Their eyes are warped and they end up seeing it all in the “beautifully sad” way, instead of downright upsetting. It is shown to them in a more gentle, beautified way, leaving a single tear rolling down their cheek. They act as if they understand it as much as the people who have actually faced these issues head on.
Meanwhile, how are those people? No, it’s not just a single dramatic movie cliche, tear rolling down the cheek *cue the sad music*. No. Those people are holding their bodies tight, gasping for breath as their throats close up, and their faces turn ugly, wet from tears, red, scrunched up. Shaking,  grasping out into the air for relief, a desperate feeling circulating through their blood. Their mind is flashing with images reminding them of the pain so indescribable. They want to scream, but are stuck sobbing or remaining eerily quiet. It’s so beautiful, isn’t it? To see someone in such pain that they can’t control their body, holding on to themselves so tightly that their nails dig into their skin, so deep that it leaves scratches and maybe even breaks the skin? That’s what it looks like. The pain of depression, rape, suicide. It’s not cinematically beautiful.
They cover it so wrong; depression, suicidality, suicide itself. Having depression since you were eight, you get to know it. It’s ugly. It’s not subtle, it’s right there,in your face. When you first meet depression, you rarely ever handle it quietly. No one wanted to be involved in 10 year old me. I was a mess and I didn’t know how to face it. I learned how to hide more. But that doesn’t mean it gets any better. First suicidal ideation at 11, an attempt then and again at 12. Still, after years of figuring it out, I became able to better mask my emotions by sixth grade. I still break down, and after one time (yes, one time) at school, no one lets it go, no one forgets. It’s like those years and years of masking your emotions never happened, just because the mask slips once. It's really embarrassing, and people treat you rudely, strangely, anything but sympathetic when you fall back once. It’s funny, when people are introduced to depression as entertainment, they’re fine with it, they feel pity for that (mind you, fictional) person. But when they’re introduced to it in real life, they see the actual ugliness they weren’t expecting, see that person as a weird mess, avoid involvement. Freakin’ hypocrites. So yes, I do get angry about the show- especially the fact that there’ll be a third season. After suicide, it’s over. That’s the whole point. That’s literally why someone ends their life. To end it. For it to be the end. For it to be over. How much more can I emphasize that? So for a girl to end her life, having two more seasons about her, the depression,  the suicide, literally defeats the point.
So when I hear 13 Reasons Why, I get pissed. Because people don’t actually care about the issues. They care about the entertainment, another show to watch that can make them care, relate, or understand.
For those who are still interested in watching this show; if you haven’t struggled with these issues, recognize that this show glorifies them, and it’s not what it’s actually like. If you want to understand, I urge you to find better resources to base off of.
If you have dealt with depression, suicide, or rape, I want to warn you; it can get really triggering. Panic attacks, flashbacks, PTSD-triggering. That’s the way it was for me, and many of the  people I’ve talked to. The scenes get really explicit, and I could barely get through half the season before it became too painful to watch. Tell someone close you’re watching it, someone who can look after you and how you react. Know you can stop any time.