I can remember the wince in my mother’s face and the tone of disappointment in her voice when I told my mother I wanted to change my major from sports management to secondary education. “Yikes, you really want to go into education? I liked sports management better,” she said and then proceeded to explain why. This statement coming from my mother who knows nothing really about either of those fields of study and as well never went to college for her profession. Even with that in mind, her disgusted sounding comment alone made me second guess changing my major to something I actually want to do as opposed to what she thought sounded better. 

My mother isn’t much different from many other parents when it comes to their children's future and career choice. Many parents have a preset notion on what a successful child looks like, good grades in school, go to college, get a degree, and have some wealthy and high-paying job. The problem is that in this path of success, some parents tend to not take into consideration what their child wants or what will make them happy. This doesn’t mean parents want their child to be miserable and rich; they just want the best for their child. Therefore, parents will naturally want to influence their child's decisions into their idea of good and bad. Even seemingly harmless remarks and input, like my mom's, can sway children into feeling obligated to make certain choices.

The sense of obligation to fulfill our parents' expectations is not uncommon. In high school, we often feel pressure to go to college and meet their definition of success, or risk being seen as a disappointment to them. Forbes did a recent article covering a Joblist study that analyzed the extent of parent influence on career. The study revealed that 58% of Millenials and 57% of Gen-Z respondents reported that they felt their parents forced them to attend college. Naturally, as teenagers in high school, we hate going to school, so the thought of four to six more years of education isn’t the greatest sounding idea but in the eyes of our parents college seems like the only option or else we are going to disappoint them. While they were pushing us to be college scholars, they were also unknowingly doing us a great disservice as student loans are America’s fastest growing category of debt with a staggering $1.57 trillion and counting according to Forbes.

The authoritative influence our parents have goes beyond just making those major higher education decisions. Fresh out of graduation we are already pressured to get a career and make the decision of what we’ll do for the rest of our lives. Parents continue to behave in ways that make us feel we don’t have many options in our career choice. In their efforts, parents again pressure their kids on career choice. The study unveils that 40% of all respondents felt pressured by their parents to enter their current career, according to Parents Magazine. The same joblist study then measured that a quarter of parents used guilt to influence their child's decision. Whether it be about higher income or just wanting their child to go into the same field as them, it is blatant manipulation to guilt someone into a career. 

These parents in this study are not bad parents. In fact their intentions make them somewhat great parents because all they ever want is for their children to succeed. This should not fully discourage parents from being a part of their child’s future, but there are better ways to be involved.  Parents should ask their child what they are good at to ensure they will be successful in their choice. Then, they should put their own personal wants away, and ask them what they want instead of just telling them what they should and making them feel like a disappointment for wanting something different. 

Look at the title the answer is simple, it's not my parent's career, its mine.