Shrill giggles, squeals of fright, and constant blathering over boys. These typical girl behaviors drive everyone within a one hundred radius insane. Girls are obnoxious and have cotton ball brains.

First off, girls are stupid because they wear impractical clothing. Girls at school wear skimpy tank tops, flip flops, and miniscule skirts. The problem with this? It’s the middle of winter, where the highest temperatures don’t even scrape ten degrees Fahrenheit. And the worst part: these bibmos complain about being cold. DRRR! If they were wearing real clothes, then their complaints would be valid, but because they are so focused on showing off chicken legs and knobby knees, they ignore what tiny cotton pieces they have for brains and dress like they’re in Hawaii. When all their phalanges fall off from frostbite, no one will pity them because they are just stupid.

Not only are girls incompetent fools, they are annoying. Say a girl just painted her nails her favorite shade of cherry red. Then, Heaven forbid, she chips a nail! She’ll wails for hours over the imperfection that only she notices because the chip is no bigger than a pin prick. And if that isn’t enough, if one strand of hair falls out of place, the rest of us have to prepare for the second great flood of tears. It’s not like anyone is going to point the girl out in front of the whole school and ridicule her ‘heinous hair.’ GET OVER IT!

Girls need a reality check. No one scans them with a microscope every second of every day, so they don’t need to pull out their violin voices every time something goes wrong. And it wouldn’t hurt them to wear some clothes in the middle of winter…