For the vast majority of adolescent students across the globe, one of their most preoccupying worries and constant fears are those of not being able to fit in. More often than not, these fears are rooted in the pursuit of being popular or simply just well-liked, but in reality cause individuals to go to drastic measures to appease these internal wishes. I can come to terms with the fact that this is a problem that I had for a while, but I know for a fact that practically every teen does at some point. It just seems to be one of the inevitable stages of growing up, the “awkward phase” that regularly occurs in middle school. Ah, the dreaded middle school years, where practically everything changes: kids you’ve known since childhood start to ignore you, everyone becomes obsessed with popularity, and you start to come across fake friends. I’ve lived through these situations, and I’m glad to say that today I’ve persevered through them and have conquered my fears regarding the need to fit in. In order to satisfy the natural need of belonging all humans have within them, I simply recommend the seemingly cliche advice of being yourself, but in a broader sense to find those who are your true friends that embody what you look for in yourself through some of the most important years of your life.

As most people do, I began to notice these changes amongst my peers as soon as we reached middle school. Not to stereotypical or anything, but being an Indian kid of immigrant parents, I was expected to excel in school, and as such was placed in the Magnet program in the 4th grade. This would actually be huge in my life, because that group of 20 kids in my magnet class would continue to be my peers from the 4th grade pretty much until today. Now I see less of them as they’re more dispersed throughout classes, but until the 8th grade we all shared the same classes together. This fact put me in a position to basically observe all of these kids grow up with me, and observe I did. As a disclaimer, I’m just going to say now that I won’t mention any names because these kids still go to GBN, and I really have nothing against any of them. Anyways, even within that 20 person class, we still had the trademark cliques that exist in public schools everywhere: popular kids and athletes, theater kids, nerds, and the social outcasts. However, at a younger age, none of us really recognizes these groups as separated, and we actually were pretty close friends with one another until middle school.
As everyone started to grow up and mature, so did their awareness for those groups that would organize us into hierarchy as we entered high school. The biggest transition year of this process was the 8th grade, where everyone had settled into their respective groups, leaving behind some kids like me. I had played sports, but wasn’t really an over-the-top athlete and was more focused on school for the years to come. I didn’t lack popularity, but my intelligence had already enlightened me long ago to how pointless chasing it was, and as such I didn’t understand why the so-called popular kids had reached their status when in reality they were either pretty fake or just bad people. For instance, in the eight grade I blatantly noticed some of my closest buddies from elementary school start to gravitate more towards hanging with that popular crowd, even choosing to simply be near them at social events while not even being a part of their actually group. I know it sounds ridiculous, for those I considered friends to ride the coattails of popular kids, but this was the reality I faced. This put me in kind of a tough spot, as going into high school I only had my closest group of friends who I had deemed to be genuine, mainly through us sharing the same point of view towards these popularity hunters. Much to my relief, I wasn’t the only observer of these changes, and thankfully the kid who I considered to be my best

friend through all these years agreed with me in how pointless it was to be a follower just for the sake of saying “I was there”. This phrase was actually pretty important to those kids who weren’t really popular themselves, but were more on the bubble--on the outside looking in. They often weren’t the center of attention, but made every effort to hang on to every detail just to have a talking point as proof of their presence.

Thus, I went on to high school as someone who lacked a true place in social hierarchy. As any former and current high school student knows, the division of groups based on pretty much your interests is evident in just about any school. Other than these clear cut groups, however, a lot of kids like me are left in basically the “general population”. On the outside, I’m almost positive that I appeared to be a regular student, as I took some honors classes and played freshman volleyball. However, on the inside I struggled with the same issues a lot of kids go through. At times, I felt peer pressured into thinking that I was the one who was behind my former friends, who had moved on to simply sit near more popular kids than themselves. However, the biggest game changer, and probably one of the best decisions I’ve made was to join ISA. The choice to join the Indian Student Association, which had been the source of my sister’s livelihood in her high school years, was at first kind of forced for me. I wasn’t the biggest fan from the start, and I even considered quitting around Thanksgiving before my sister basically forced me not to. It was when I was a part of the actual show that everything changed. It was indescribable, being a part of something so spectacular, something that I had watched myself growing up. It was something I looked forward to every year when my sister was a part of it, seeing the new show with its unique storyline and the crowd pleasing dances. It honestly felt similar to what some professional athletes say they feel when watching their favorite teams play,

believing that one day, they too would be on the television. And, as I expected, it was amazing to finally be on the other side of things. I was only in one dance my freshman year, but watching from the wings I knew I wanted to part of more. That came to fruition my sophomore year, as I joined 3 dances and built a solid foundation of friends within the group. Now, I’m in 5 dances for this year (as a captain for one) as well as being on the executive board, and I couldn’t be more excited. It’s amazing to be a part of something that we all care about, and I know I’m developing skills that will really help me in the long run. In addition, I’m meeting and making so many new friends that I probably would never have gotten to known if I wasn’t a part of ISA. For once in my school life, I finally feel like I belong.

I’m not saying that you have to join some club or team to belong, but what is most important in my eyes is that you are able to find a group of friends that want to be your friend for who you are, and not just your social status. Nothing can replace sincere friends, as they basically become your family. I know I was very lucky to find my friend group, and I know, as cheesy as it sounds, that we’ll probably be friends for life. Most people believe that your high school years are supposed to be the best years of your life, but most current students think the exact opposite. I say that it is really up to you and what you make of your experience, and it will take some experimentation on your part. If you want to enjoy these years, just find your place or friends by not being afraid to sacrifice social standing to hang out with those that actually make you happy, and you will be fine. As I have found, you can do this and I’ve actually met a lot more people as a result, including some of those people that my old eighth grade friends were dying to hang out with those years ago. It is most important that you never give in to the stigma that you’ll never fit in, because I guarantee that there are others like you just waiting to meet you.

Finally, I ask that right now, you should stop caring about what strangers think of you, because the time you waste worrying about trivial things like that is precious time wasted that could be made into the experiences of a lifetime.