I was at my dad’s house, sitting with my younger brother at my old, pencil-stained writing desk, me reading a book and him playing with Legos. That’s when it hit me. 

His Lego, that is. It flew up and hit my face somehow. I set my book down and twisted around in my chair to pick it up off the floor behind us. Interested by the cover, I suppose, my brother grabbed the book, roughly flipping through the pages, disappointed by the lack of cool, graphic novel-style pictures. Until he got to the last page, which contained what might be the only picture in the book.

It was a black-and-white ad for another book by the same author; the description labeled the image as something along the lines of an “epic new love story.” My brother seemed somewhat uninterested, as most 9-year-olds are at the mention of love stories. 

But then he looked at the cover. It showed two guys walking in opposite directions, one of them holding a cardboard box, the other with a duffel bag slung across his shoulder. As if he had pieced the puzzle together, my brother looked up at me, face painted in horror. “Love story??” he asked incredulously. “But they’re both boys.”

“... And?”

“Isn’t that like… gay?” he responded, staring at me as if I’d suddenly become a stranger and whispering the word as if it was dirty, as if it would infect his lips by the mere pronunciation of it. “That’s disgusting,” he said.

 From such a young age, he’s filled with this hatred that I, raised primarily by my mom, cannot imagine ever having possessed. And it’s not only toward the LGBTQ+ community: it’s also directed at BIPOC, people with a disability, women-- the list goes on. 

At this point in his life, it may seem harmless. Admittedly, he’s a child-- he doesn’t need to know everything, and no one can expect him to understand it all. 

But what happened to “treat others as you want to be treated,” or “we are all beautiful in our uniqueness”? The problem isn’t that he hasn’t learned social concepts, or even that he doesn’t want to understand; the problem is that he hasn’t learned acceptance, and he doesn’t see a need to attempt to understand. To him, everyone is equal until they don’t fit into his definition of equality, and all people are worthy of respect until part of them is not. 

Our society is growing increasingly diverse, and children should be taught to accept, not just tolerate, others.

Adults who instill prejudiced values in their children perpetuate the problem on the basis that it’ll “ruin their childhood” to expose them to seemingly “different” groups of people or the associated societal issues. Many argue that learning of such weighty social topics as a child will shatter their innocent belief in the world’s righteousness-- as if learning acceptance would cast a dark shadow of reality on their beautiful, pure mind.

It won’t. But letting kids think that basic respect is conditional is shattering hope for future equality, and while it’s hard for them to digest complex social topics, they still need to be welcoming to such ideas. 

Children don’t have to be active members of society, ready to cast their ballot or get a mortgage. They just need an open, empathetic mind, and these inclusive values are necessary for them to get along with others. 

Further, empathy is not only essential to social interactions-- it also contributes to children’s ability to think both creatively and logically, as well as to their leadership and collaboration skills. Children who are taught empathetic thinking grow into adults that are happier, more successful (both personally and professionally), better leaders, and less stressed. 

Where does empathy start? Well, with the #1 influence on children’s judgments, behaviors, and lives: their parents. 

How? First, acceptance comes with exposure. Don’t shy away from new people, ideas, or experiences, and answer a child if they inquire about their observations. Encourage empathy and don’t tolerate ignorant comments from children.

Also, deal with personal prejudices first. Implicit biases conveyed to children-- even through mindless jokes or slight differences in tone-- have the same effect as outright communication of these ideas. It’s hard to recognize the impact of implicit attitudes, but it’s important to be conscientious.

I hear parents tell their kids all the time, “you’re gonna rule the world someday, you know that?” And it’s true. Today’s children are our rising generation. 

So, teach them to rise with kindness. Let them know how important it is to accept rather than reject, to love rather than judge. Help them learn how to build a better world, one Lego brick at a time… and without flinging them in people’s faces, please.