Up until high school, I attended a private school with barely any diversity. I often felt like I didn’t belong; felt like I was misplaced. I didn’t really think much about beauty standards and what society portrayed as “perfect” until I hit the 7th grade. I had gotten in contact with social media that year. On all the social media platforms, I saw women with perfect bodies, perfect skin, face, everything. And most of the models out there had western features. I went to school and realized that I looked very different from ninety-eight percent of my classmates. Since it was a class of thirty kids, I felt so small. I felt like I was doing something wrong, and it was like a tingling sensation at the back of my head, almost like a voice. I just couldn’t grasp it.

         “Why was I born with these features?” I always wondered. It got to the point where I distanced myself from my classmates. Around the same time, I was getting made fun of for the way I looked by some of my peers. I had all this bottled in for a while, and didn’t know what to do. Because although my mom could call the school to make the kids leave me alone, that wouldn’t change how I viewed myself.

         When I was in 8th grade, I started developing a mindset about obtaining “the perfect body.” I was under the impression that if I didn’t have the right curves, I would be unwanted. This was because of the environment I grew up in; with the adults in my life always making comments about my diet, and of course, social media. I remember not eating for long periods of time, but still not feeling satisfied. That’s what bothered me the most. I felt agitated, because I didn’t know why all of this wasn’t working. One day, I felt my head pounding, and felt my break quicken. I couldn’t tell if it was from the lack of food or the feeling of being so bothered by everything for so long, but I snapped. That was when I opened my eyes and decided to tell my family about everything. 

          To this day, I still struggle with my self confidence, but I am doing much better. I cut out a lot of my social media, and I think that’s what has helped the most.  I have realized that in this time, there are such unrealistic expectations for us women, and that most of what you see on social media isn’t real. I have also learned that just because you look different does not make you any less pretty. There is no “correct” body or “correct” face… at all.