Students, on average, spend seven or eight hours every weekday in school. Which means on those days you spend almost more time at school than you do at home with your family. So school, in a way, is your second family.

I have a peanut allergy. It’s a complicated disability, and people don’t understand exactly how hard it is. My allergy is always on my mind. It always has to be. Whenever food is in the general vicinity, I have to be alert and thinking about it. If something I eat or touch has just barely come in contact with peanuts, I could get an allergic reaction. Food is everywhere, and food is a risk for me, so going places can be a risk. Which is why “better be safe than sorry” is a quote I live by.

The allergy itself is harmful enough, so when some of my elementary school peers and friends at the time started to bully me about my allergy, it was heartbreaking.

Weekends were a moment of peace, because a place I loved turned into a place where I suffered. I got emails and notes with threatening messages and drawings of peanuts. Kids at lunch took food from my lunchbox, laughingly bit into it, and returned it, despite my tearful protests. They sprinkled peanut butter cracker crumbs on my lunch, leaving me with queasy hunger pains for the rest of the day. They sang songs depicting my allergy in grotesque detail. Several times during lunch I ended up leaning over the toilet, my stomach turned with nausea. Kids at recess chased me around the playground, trying to catch me by the hood of my jacket so they could torment me.

But it could have been much worse than it was. Because at least I had my school family to help and support me.

The official definition of family consists of a group of parents and children living together as a unit. But my definition of family is different.

Family are the people who support you when you are in a bad situation.

Family are the people who stick with you no matter what.

Family are the people you love and feel safe with.

Family are the people you have fun with.

Family are the people you would help if they weren’t in a good situation, just like they would help you.

And my school family did just that. My teachers, school counselor, and principal did their best to put the bullying to a stop, and educated people about bullying and sometimes even how food allergies work. My teachers, especially, supported my mental health. They were always there for me, and I am forever grateful. I had a really close friend, too, who ate lunch with me, and tried to cheer me up. She didn’t join in with the other kids when they were teasing me about my allergy. She was always there for me, always by my side when things got really bad. We are still strong friends today. We are there for each other, no matter what. She is truly my family.

My school family was there for me. And that was very important. Without them, I don’t know what I would have done. This struggle could have ruined my elementary school experience. But my school family was there.

I’m now in seventh grade at Delta Middle School, and I’ve found a school family there too. When I first came to Delta, I was nervous, wondering whether I’d find people who would support me for who I was, allergy and all. Luckily, I was amazed and inspired by the community I found at Delta. And, best of all, people at Delta understood my allergy. I found friends who knew people with allergies. They respected me and my caution. I was tentative with telling people at first, worried about judgment, but I became more comfortable with it. Once, at Delta, when a girl sat down to eat lunch with me, I told her about my allergy. Instead of recoiling, she just nodded. I immediately relaxed. She didn’t make a big deal about it, nor did she see it as a weakness she could exploit.

At Delta, I still have wonderful teachers who go out of their way to make sure I feel included despite not being able to eat what my peers can eat. A few of them even bring in special peanut-free treats for me. I have a large friend group who understands as best they can, and I have fun with. We support each other.

My school family over the years has been very important to me, and I think it is important to everyone to have a family to support them like that.

Because everyone goes through hard times, like being bullied for me, but if you have support from family, teachers, administrators, and friends, then it makes it millions of times easier to get through it.

Everyone should try to be a family for other people, too. Even if it just means listening. Because from experience, listening (and for me, respecting my decision to not eat something) can be very important. Just being there for someone can mean the world. It can be the difference between feeling like a shadow of yourself and truly living.

If we are kind to each other, and support each other, it can make this world a better place. We have to be there for each other. It’s really not that hard. We just have to try.

A school family matters. For everyone.