Forever | Teen Ink

Forever

May 18, 2009
By Shannon_ GOLD, Atlanta, Georgia
Shannon_ GOLD, Atlanta, Georgia
12 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
For we are the children of The Lost Generation and Truth is blind.


Broken are those who fell
longing for love to know
peace and tranquility shattered
fear and shadows gathered

Broken are those who loved
fearing deception and lies
those days once lived now gone
hollow hearts sining with grief

Forever to be lost
only time to remember
fallen and forgotten in life
memories shattered in death

That which once held now lost
yesterday's joys joys turned today to sorrow
the laughs and dreams left behind
to be filled by my hollow thoughts and silent screams

You see smiles and I know hurt
these masks we wear are only thoughts we share
the truth is hidden and lies forbidden
only our hearts remain to tell our stories again


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This article has 10 comments.


on Feb. 2 2011 at 4:49 pm
shelterisland GOLD, Montclair, New Jersey
14 articles 0 photos 175 comments

Favorite Quote:
-Biting's excellent. It's like kissing only there's a winner."-Doctor Who, The Tardis

btw! I tagged it as a favorite.

PS Can you comment on some of my stuff?


on Feb. 2 2011 at 4:47 pm
shelterisland GOLD, Montclair, New Jersey
14 articles 0 photos 175 comments

Favorite Quote:
-Biting's excellent. It's like kissing only there's a winner."-Doctor Who, The Tardis

I've commented on a lot of people's poems, and I always tell people I like it. But this poem... I just love it. I love the phrasing, and the way you showed me a broken heart not by saying it plainly, but through... I don't know what to call it. Through beautiful, sophisticated, emotional writing--the kind that makes you think and read it again.

Shannon_ GOLD said...
on Jan. 26 2010 at 4:19 pm
Shannon_ GOLD, Atlanta, Georgia
12 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
For we are the children of The Lost Generation and Truth is blind.

ok thanks im always up for opinions and help for my work... thanks

EmC725 SILVER said...
on Jan. 26 2010 at 4:14 pm
EmC725 SILVER, Western Springs, Illinois
5 articles 11 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." -e.e. cummings

great job! love the emotion! one thing to watch for--as I read your poems, I am noticing that you use certain words a lot to describe things. Try to vary your vocabulary a little more. This poem is very good!

on Jan. 19 2010 at 3:12 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

This is very deep. I love the first two stanzas. It draws a lot of attention into your piece. Good job. Keep writing.

-Kal- GOLD said...
on Jan. 15 2010 at 8:48 pm
-Kal- GOLD, Carthage, North Carolina
14 articles 0 photos 244 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible, and recieves the impossible"
-Anonymous

I really felt that your last stanza was very powerful and easily relatable. For me at least, the last stanza made this poem. Great job, 5 stars

on Nov. 19 2009 at 1:51 pm
Gatorpoet SILVER, Tavares, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 11 comments
Good poem, very deep, I like it. Maybe add something about the happiness of the relationship for comparrison? idk any ways it was good

amberys11 said...
on Aug. 6 2009 at 6:20 pm
nice deep

Whitney GOLD said...
on May. 23 2009 at 8:50 pm
Whitney GOLD, Carlisle, Indiana
11 articles 17 photos 13 comments
Great poem. Keep writing.

on May. 23 2009 at 7:08 pm
MariaMarie DIAMOND, Washington Court House, Ohio
70 articles 0 photos 181 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's a mountain on a beach"-Unknown
"Will: This is either madness or brilliance. Sparrow: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide."-Pirates of the Caribbean:Curse of the Black Pearl.

It's good, don't like the last line so much.. But i love the way u word it, the reasoning behind it. Cool.