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Eden
May 26, 2009
When darkness shrouds
The world around
In smoke that chokes
And rot abounds
I step outside
Where streams are cried
Where hopes take root
And winds are sighed
Its from this place
I saw your face
Reflected in
A pool of grace
Many a night
I've sipped the light
Shone from your star
Though small, so bright
Its only fair
To bring you there
Look out the window
If you dare
And step outside
No need to hide
I'll keep you safe
Right by my side
We'll take a walk
Where blossoms talk
With secret sands
That shadows mock
Please take my hand
And understand
That freedom stems
From but this land
Just wait and see
I swear you'll be
In divinity
Out there with me
© Lauren W., Robinson, TX
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This article has 6 comments.
Lonleydandy said...
on Mar. 3 2010 at 5:20 pm
Wow, that was really good!. I have to say I LOVE the rhyme scheme. The whole aaba thing was a great touch! Great job!!!
amyxu said...
on Jun. 12 2009 at 7:00 pm
At first, I was thinking it was a little vague, but by the last stanza I was hooked--great job! The rhyme scheme is a unique one and it makes the words come to life. I love the line "with secret sands/that shadows mock"! There's so much poetry out there that doesn't use any figurative language. So I jump up and down (figuratively speaking) whenever I come across metaphors, similies or any poetic devices! Your poem abounded with them! Hey, if you like to read rhyming poetry, come check out my poems "Scars Overpaid" and "The Statue."
kittykat123 SILVER said...
on Jun. 1 2009 at 8:30 pm
very good!!!!!!!:):)
dr-shadowbell GOLD said...
on May. 30 2009 at 8:22 pm
beautiful! i really like this, especially the second stanza
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