Coursing through my body is bitterness and spite.

From the people who made fun of my every move.

The anger in my veins,

in my blood. 

But I use that bitterness and spite to keep me from,

all the breakdowns,

the harm, 

and the screaming till I can't anymore.

I'd earn a reputation that my bark is weaker than my bite.

I'd earn myself what seemed like a spot in this world,

but it wasn't a spot there wasn't one made for me.

It makes me bitter like a lemon and it spreads, 

it's my bitterness that spreads.

That bitterness goes from,

my head,

my legs,

and my hands until it infects my heart.

My heart then cold and distrusting of everything around me.

People popping up like weeds in a garden, I pull them out because I fear I may infect them to.

It’s my spreading bitterness that makes me 

Lonely,

Tired, 

And ready to get rid of myself.

Maybe the bitterness that spreads, the spite in my bones, and the anger in my veins isn’t a good fuel to keep on living. 

My bitterness that spreads harms me more than helps me.

It made my life a tragedy.

Seeking comfort in all the wrong places, from all the wrong people.

My bitterness…

Oh the f*cking bitterness.

It's back..!

It always comes back. 

It comes to see how I’m doing without it.

I’m still seeking comfort from the wrong places and people. 

From sexual desire to things that harm me.

But I’ve realized the bitterness didn’t ruin me… They did,

the people who were bitter towards me.

It’s their bitterness that spread to me.

It’s the bitterness that will always spread.