I ride the chairlift up the mountain in my radiant red Santa suit,

I look around and think to myself, what a beaut. 

My buddies and I chuckle with great laughter,

yelling to the tiny figure skiing below, “Go faster!”

By now, the top of the mountain is near. 

The lengthy and treacherous journey numbed my rear. 

We reach the top and hear a man in a blue uniform yell stop!

This man looks just like Paul Blart, the mall cop. 

We hurry back to our hefty bus

As he follows closely behind us.

I have to reach our prized possession,

our great obsession. 

I run

And the cop pulls his gun.

He shoots me right in the heart 

With his silver metal dart.

I begin to profusely bleed.

All my mind can think about is our weed. 

I fall to the ground with a loud pound.

Finally, safe and sound.