EMIGRATION

Malaysia is my city and home, smoke is commonplace to everyone, sifting through the air gives peace, leaving people in pieces spread out, My family knows it’s and heads out.

My family takes me outside, their expressions are always on and never dies, Crazy how time flies, My mother tells me to grow up and tie myself up, Her eyes dark, The mask is old.

The smoke gets cold in my house, My family tells me to stand up for myself and walk through the door, Their expressions still unchanging, My mother still unwavering, I have said goodbye.

I go with my family's wills. I am the youngest of them all, no greater wisdom, no better strength, pure coincidence brings this end.

I take all I can carry, My bag is sorry, I have my phone that can flip, My shoes that can rip, I must continue to my next step, leaving behind the smoke in my dust.

I remember my family's concerns: look for your station and keep calm, nothing can hurt, This is my gurt, My eyes fail on me as I arrive.

My grandmother comes to pick me up, Her mask is not there, people's expressions change and are always afferent, The cold makes my heart feel indifferent, I can no longer smell the smoke anymore.

FAMILY

I can be the biggest troublemaker of my house, my mouth is filled with candy, I test myself against the sugar, My teeth are looser, I cry.

My family takes me to the dentist, Their room is dusty, The walls are glossy, My breath’s become rapid, The dentist arrives with a smile calming my heart down.

I have calmed down, My mom is wearing a frown, worries start to appear on her face, She tells me to listen to their order with haste, I feel scared but not alone.

The sound is shrieking with no stop, I am not fearless, My courage is not a witness, Still I feel my family's presence, I now know what being fearless is like.

Pain is familiar to me, I feel very free after the procedure, I look towards the candy they offer, I feel responsible today for not accepting it.

I have arrived back home to where this problem started, Having been through enough me and any candy have parted away, My family is alway beside me letting me know I'm never alone.

I am alone at home and the candy is sitting out front, They know I won’t want it, I know what my limits are now, I must remain responsible to keep their trust in me.

Making hard decisions

He doesn’t know what’s in store for him, The responsibility he will have to learn by himself, I hope for him to find peace and be one with oneself.

I haven’t been there for him his whole life, My work life has always been filled with strife, My son deserves more which is why Im letting him leave, I wish for him to weave his own journey.

I won’t be there to see him through, Fortunately we have gone on flights before, He always has had a good memory so he will make it through.

I pack his bags with essentials and photos of his childhood to make sure he remembers me, As I look at the items my face starts to light up with glee, I know now that he will always have me by his side.

I knelt down by the shrine and sang my prayers the day before he goes, My words became softer and dampened by the water flowing beside me, I took out a Hibiscus rosa-sinensis to offer for his safe passage.

I still worry for him though, My heart sinks too low, A mother should always be by their children’s side but I can only pray, I will make sure he knows I love him before he sets out.