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纸鹤 | Paper Crane
脸里没有开心 | no joy found in my heart
梦里没有希望 | no hope held in my dream
手里只有纸鹤 | only paper cranes in my hands.
hands flit over bright patterned paper
sharp creases cut through tired hearts
sky blue thoughts, folding into cranes
troubled waters rage under the surface.
我的太痛 | my deepest pain
没有 | does not have
最后赦免 | an eventual absolution.
Clawing and biting, Sheep amid Wolves
what is Woman in Man's world?
decimate ancient assaults, begin cycles anew
climb broken ladders unto hostile heavens.
天上燕子 | a heavenly swallow
潛下 | plunges swiftly down
从河喝水 | to drink water.
eyes like onyx, grace like sacrifice
my beloved namesake of feathery hope
in my palm, your paper brothers
shall never know rough river waters.
看我爱情 | notice my affection
从远 | from a distance
两只寂手 | two lonely hands.
my heart sinks, my body shakes
i fold another crane in silence
i am craven, craving your smiles
your face is vivid and pure.
太阳跟月 | sun and moon
轨里 | in eternal orbit
每天跳舞 | dance together daily.
one thousand cranes bestow one wish
i know mine, secret and not
to find an ounce of courage
speak my mind, confess my devotion.
眼里只有泪水 | only tears remain in my eyes
我不明白我用 | i do not know of ways
什么把你留住 | to keep you here with me.
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纸鹤 is the product of pining, turmoil, and a struggle with the author's self-expression as they come to terms with their queerness, their affection for a close friend, and the risk of confessing their love. Heavily inspired by the Chinese independent band 福禄寿 (Fulushou) and their album "我用什么把你留住" (What Must I Do To Cherish You), referenced in the last verse, this poem condenses the emotions and thoughts they experienced when first perceiving their love for a friend while folding paper cranes in his absence.
Aditi G. (Birdie or 丽燕, they/them) is a high school student in Durham, NC. Their love of languages began in an immigrant household that spoke two at once, and their passion for writing has persisted in the form of fanfiction, distressed poetry, and nonfiction essays. They study etymology for fun, learn languages for kicks, and believe that authorship is a sacred form of self-expression meant to be abused with reckless abandon.
看到我心 | Comprehend my heart
超弱 | so incredibly delicate
有真有全 | earnest and complete