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To Be or Not to Be
Mother paints in a chair opposite me, what is She drawing?
is it me as a Soldier?
it probably is — every mother wants a Soldier
i imagine one hand at my side, the other saluting
they're not both resting on my head, as they are presently
how does She feel about having Her kid in medical school?
i mean, intensive training isn’t easy
sometimes i wonder if it bothers Mother that i'm not in Vietnam
maybe i could train to be a Combat Medic
now that’s the painting — me wearing a green helmet — big red cross on it
saving lives is preferable to taking them, right?
what would Mother see me as?
am i meant to be a Soldier?
am i meant to be a Medic?
perhaps i’m meant to be both
Mother smiles, turning her painting over to me
painted is me — in a white shirt and khakis — deep in thought,
both hands resting on my head
She sees Me as I am.
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Inspired by Alice Neel's, Hartley (1966)