without you | Teen Ink

without you

July 9, 2009
By ChrisAMoore PLATINUM, Saint Augustine, Florida
ChrisAMoore PLATINUM, Saint Augustine, Florida
24 articles 8 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hey guys I have old work on this profile, but I stopped for about two years now. I got back into it now because I found that art and expression is me. So I hope you like the things I post from now on more lol


It’s all to hard
Having to be without you
I’m trying to be strong
But it’s all just no use
Without you Im nothing
I have no happiness
No feelings at all
Just the beating on my chest
(Chorus)
You’re the reason
I changed my life
I tried to be him
That perfect guy
I miss the memories
Just your touch warms me
Till the end of time
Your smile will be with me
(End of chorus)
You said not now
You don’t know what to do
Tried to move on
But there’s been none like you
And now I just think
About how you said you liked me
The way I treat you
When we touched passionately
(Chorus)
You’re the reason
I changed my life
I tried to be him
That perfect guy
I miss the memories
Just your touch warms me
Till the end of time
Your smile will be with me
(End of chorus)
I try to talk
Reason our love so it works
You stare at me
And say maybe I could learn
Maybe again
I could see why I liked you
But for now
I’m not sure what to do
just want you to know
no matter what i do
ill never be complete
without you


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This article has 4 comments.


xLauren SILVER said...
on Jan. 27 2010 at 6:32 pm
xLauren SILVER, Virginia Beach, Virginia
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." ~Westley (The Princess Bride)

There is a trace of simplicity, however, the hidden depth is clear to see. I agree that some use of more metaphors would be beneficial! However, all in all, it's pretty good!

on Jan. 27 2010 at 9:34 am
AngelForeverBleedingLove DIAMOND, Frederic, Wisconsin
65 articles 3 photos 248 comments

Favorite Quote:
You say you don't remember,
But I will never forget

I agree with the simple thing, but I can also see a lot of meaning and heartfelt feeling in here. I like it! I want to see more! BTW you can call me angel

on Jan. 10 2010 at 10:09 pm
SecretPoet18 SILVER, Los Alamos, New Mexico
8 articles 6 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
One more time... with feeling

The lyrics are simple but they have alot of depth to them. I can see that you must really care for this girl! Keep writing!

on Jan. 10 2010 at 8:23 pm
I like this, but I feel like it's really simple in the lyrics. Maybe you could add in some imagery or metaphors. I liked when you said "just your touch warms me"--more of that. Like, it's good but lines like "im not sure what to do, just want you to know" just use really simple words and if you expanded it and replaced them with more descriptive words it would be more interesting :)