I swim in my own thoughts
that surround me.
Thoughts that I can'tthink,
just feel
They numb my mind
Not there, but at the same time
real.
I'm afraid to think these thoughts,
Afraid of what I mightdiscover.
I'm tempted to sleep through the darkness
And let the sun dry thepool
I swim under.
Scared if I look hard enough
I might see myreflection; I might have to admit my sin
Scared I might find your face underthe water
Deeper in.
Your reflection I try to drown
with all mythoughts
But the harder I try
The more you keep floating up.
And if Ipull the plug
And drain my head
They will flow
straight to myheart
And push against the wall
Weakening its part.
                  So instead
         Ihave to close my eyes
         And swim in the dark.