Insecurities | Teen Ink

Insecurities

July 31, 2009
By HiddenGem GOLD, North Fort Myers, Florida
HiddenGem GOLD, North Fort Myers, Florida
13 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Not Everything Happens For A Reason. But Everything Results In Consequences. Be Prepared. Don't Be Just Another Idiot Standing There Saying, "What Happened?" Be The Person Giving The Answers. -My Own Original Quote.


I Know I'm Not The First To Love You,
And I Know I'm Not The Last,
All I Can Hope Is That I'm The Best.
I Try To Give You All You Want,
And All That You Deserve.
I Know I'm Nowhere Near Perfect,
But Don't I Get Points For Trying?


That Night I Was Next To You,
I Felt On Top Of The World.
Nothing,
Nor No One,
Could Touch Me.
Fireworks Crackle In The Background,
Your Lips Pressed To My Ear,
You Say "I Love You."
My Heart Skips A Few Beats.
My Mind Races.
My Heart Flutters.
My Body Freezes,
And I Realize,
I Love You Too.


So This May Not Be Something Forever Can Grasp,
It May Just Be Temporary,
But We Could Just Live In This One Moment.
This One Piece Of Time.
I Could Remember Our Days Together,
We Could Spend These Precious Times With Eachother,
And I Could Be Happy.
I Could Imagine Growing With You,
Becoming A Better Person.
Becoming What You Need.
I Could Make This Work.
If Only I Could Let My Insecurities Rest.
Put Them In A Solid Coffin,
Bury Them Underground.
Forget That They Ever Existed.


Remember That You Chose Me Instead,
That I'm The One You Want.
The One You Asked For.
I Remember What I Did To Get Into Your Arms,
I Regret Not A Single Moment.
Not A Single Second Of The Struggle I Went Through,
Just To Call You Mine.
I Forge A Steel Case Around Unpleasant Thoughts Of What's Been Said,
I Tie A Ball And Chain Around The Ankles Of Those That Doubt Me,
You,
Us.
They Sink To The Very Recesses Of My Mind.



I Sleep At Night
And Dream Of Nothing But Your Eyes Gazing Into Mine.
I Awake In The Morning
And Smile At A Beautiful Message From You.
I Jolt Upright The Moment My Phone Goes Off,
Or My Computer Pings.
I Hope It's You.
I'm Rarely Dissappointed.
You're Always Here.
I Can't Forget The Way You Looked At Me That Night,
I Never Want To.
I Don't Want To Picture This Life Without Something Worth Waking Up To.




So This May Not Be Something Forever Can Grasp,
It May Just Be Temporary,
But We Could Just Live In This One Moment.
This One Piece Of Time.
I Could Remember Our Days Together,
We Could Spend These Precious Times With Eachother,
And I Could Be Happy.
I Could Imagine Growing With You,
Becoming A Better Person.
Becoming What You Need.
I Could Make This Work.
If Only I Could Let My Insecurities Rest.
Put Them In A Solid Coffin,
Bury Them Underground.
Forget That They Ever Existed.


If Only I Forget These Insecurities,
Maybe Then All Would Be Well.
Maybe Then I Could Rest My Eyes,
Place My Head To The Pillows Surrounding Me,
And Drift Off To A Place Where It's Only You And I.
But Something Clouds My Mind.
You're Always There.
And Something About That Is Oddly Comforting.



If Only I Could Let My Insecurites Rest.
Put Them In A Solid Coffin,
Bury Them Underground,
Forget That They Ever Existed.


To These Insecurities,
I Say This:
You Are No More,
My Mind,
It's Clear,
My Heart
It's Mended.
Your Coffin Is Closed,
Locked By The Love That's Surrounding Me.
You've Been Burried Deep Below Ground Level,
And You're Now Forgotten.


I Challenge Those Around Me To Bring These Insecurities To The Surface,
Bring Them Back To My Mind,
Remind Me Of What Used To Plauge My Soul,
My Heart,
My Thoughts.
I Dare You To Defy Me,
To Make My Day.
You'll Never Make Those Thoughts Re-Enter My Mind.
I Know That This May Not Be Something Permanent,
But I'll Be Damned If I Let You Ruin Something Spectacular.
This May Be Temporary,
But There's No Time Like The Present To Love Like This.



No Holding Back,
No Second Thoughts,
No Regrets.
Just Honest,
Open,
Soul-Numbing,
Mind-Deadening,
Pure,
Unadulterated,
Earth-Shattering,
Love.


Even Though I Feel Like This,
I Wonder Sometimes About You.
Is This Just Me,
Because These Words That Escape Your Lips,
They Don't Make Any Sense.
You Say One Thing When I'm Around,
But Something Else Once I'm Gone.
I'm Confused,
And Broken.
So Tell Me Dear,
What Do I Do?
Where Do I Turn?
Where Do I Run?



And Once Again You Reassure Me.
A Simple Smile,
A Kind Kiss,
A Cute Cuddle,
A Hollowing Hug.
Little Actions Of Affection That Make My Mind Melt.
You Know Just What To Say,
Just How To Act.
Nobody Can Make Me Feel The Way You Do.



To These Insecurities,
I Say This:
You Are No More,
My Mind,
It's Clear,
My Heart
It's Mended.
Your Coffin Is Closed,
Locked By The Love That's Surrounding Me.
You've Been Burried Deep Below Ground Level,
And You're Now Forgotten.


Despite A Separation Which Seemed An Eternity,
My Heart Still Fluttered At The Sound Of Your Name.
My Mind Still Raced When I Heard Your Voice.
My Stomach Twisted Into Knots When I Thought Of You.
Hundreds Of Miles Kept Us Apart,
But I Did't Mind.
Because I Knew That You Missed Me Too.
And That Made Me Feel A Whole Lot Better.


In The Face Of Saddness
And Desperation.
In The Very Presence Of Fear,
And Longing.
I Waited For You.
For That Smile,
For Those Eyes,
For A Kiss.
I Waited For All Of It.
For All Which You Could Offer Me.
You'll Always Be Worth The Waiting.


This Is Something That Forever Can Grasp,
For Our Love Is The Very Definition Of Forever.
There Are No Lingering Insecurities.
You're Mine,
And I'm Yours.
We Withstood The Trial Of Time,
As Well As Errors In Judgement.
We Held On During A Hurricane,
A Whirlwind Of Emotions.
We Sat Around Waiting,
Wondering Whether Or Not This Was Right.
Curiosity Was Never Our Friend.
It Led To Murmers,
And Questions About The Other's Loyalty.
We Are Forever.
We Are Young.
We Are Love.
We Are,
Quite Simply,
Us.


The author's comments:
This piece took me a few times to truly get right, but finally it is finished. I've never been prouder of anything.

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This article has 2 comments.


HiddenGem GOLD said...
on Sep. 11 2009 at 9:08 pm
HiddenGem GOLD, North Fort Myers, Florida
13 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Not Everything Happens For A Reason. But Everything Results In Consequences. Be Prepared. Don't Be Just Another Idiot Standing There Saying, "What Happened?" Be The Person Giving The Answers. -My Own Original Quote.

Thanks, I Know It's Long, But I Think It's One Of The Poems That Can Handle The Length Without Seeming Completely Annoying. I'm Beginning To Rethink The Repetition Though....

Lonleydandy said...
on Aug. 9 2009 at 2:03 pm
I really like this poem. My only objection is the length, but I still really like it :D