Inside a little cottage, lives a little old lady.
She’s going on 90, and her name’s Ms. McGrady.
She’s a long time widower, but she doesn’t live alone,
There dwell 34 cats in her house made of stone.
Meow! Meow! Meow! Through the wake of the night,
The 34 cats all holler and fight.
Sniff! Sniff! Sniff! They peed on the couch once more.
Why couldn’t they aim for the litter box on the floor?
Scratch! Scratch! Scratch! Not the freshly coated wall!
Why can’t they just play with their yarn ball?
Plunk! Her dentures drop!
They land into the glass with a big, flop!
The old woman has had it, she rips out her grey hair,
Then turned to the cats, and gave an angry glare.
Bang! Bang! Bang! She shot all 34!
Now, she was headed out the door.
Whoosh! To the retirement home she dashed,
As all of the feline nightmares flashed.