Yesterday I cried at the dentist and she kept telling me,
"Don't cry, you don't feel anything."
I didn't feel anything
and at the same time I felt it all.
Not the dental work,
but just emotional baggage sitting on my chest.
And all these sad songs came on
and I started to cry for my grandpa, and then I felt guilty for crying because we weren't that close,
like the time I felt guilty crying for a classmate.
I cried for him more than I've ever cried for anyone.
Maybe it was because he played with my hair during English class
before I got kicked out.
And it's memories like that,
small memories like that,
which remain with you forever.