Excuse Me..... | Teen Ink
  1. Home
  2. Poetry
  3. Excuse Me.....

Excuse Me.....

May 9, 2012
By DanielM SILVER, Kent, Washington
More by this author
DanielM SILVER, Kent, Washington
6 articles 1 photo 245 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would rather hated million times for what i did then loved a million times for what i didn&#039;t do.&quot; - Daniel Moto<br /> &quot; I&#039;ve sought out to be the best i could posibly be but when i hit a roadblock in life what did i do, i had two choices either stay at the roadblock or i take this roadblock and make of it and go around it and achieve my goal. So, what will it be?&quot;- Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &quot;People take love like its a four letter word or just a phrase that you tell people or your friends all the time. But in reality love is much bigger than a merely phrase or 4 letter word. Instead love is a genuine promise or covenant to that special person.&quot;-Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;Why change yourself when you were made perfect and wonderfully by the creator of everything?&rdquo; &ndash; Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;If live is not hurtin then were really not living in.&rdquo; &ndash; B. Reith

View profile

Excuse me
I’ve got something to say
And when I’m done
I Promise you
You’ll be happy that you stayed

This is just a little something
I wrote only for you
And we’ve been friends for so long now
It’s time that I tell you this

Before I’ll even tell you this
It’ll be over, said and done
So why don’t we seize the moment; freeze it and own it.
Why don’t we begin?

© Nicole D., Palm Harbor, FL

The author's comments:
Uh, i'm not really into writing poems but i decided to try something new so here's my first poem that i've ever written.
Post a comment
Submit your own

Similar Articles

Previous Next
Poetry
The Curse
By Anonymous
Poetry
Take a close look and what do you see???? something that has no Answer to it yet!
By Anonymous
Poetry
Uncle Tom
By Anonymous
Poetry
The Rain
By Anonymous
Poetry
A great day outside
By Anonymous
Poetry
Summertime and the Living's Easy
By Anonymous

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 64 comments.

AbigailElizabeth SILVER said...
on May. 21 2012 at 8:05 pm
AbigailElizabeth SILVER, Medina, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Scars are souvenirs you never lose&quot; - Goo Goo Dolls

View profile
I like it because it's hard to understand. And I like inferring. Only good writers can truly do that :) I love it
Darbs1325 GOLD said...
on May. 21 2012 at 6:48 pm
Darbs1325 GOLD, Columbus, Georgia
15 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is a reflection of intent....love reflects love....hate reflects hate....-Jonathan Lockwood Huie<br /> <br /> When the world puts you down, keep your head up!-Anonymous?

View profile
Awww that is a sweet poem... Well I think i got the picture.... lol, but overal I like it and you should post more stories :D 
eeoopig said...
on May. 20 2012 at 12:33 am
eeoopig, Somewhere, Other
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments
View profile
good poem, I liked the start the most :)
Lacer GOLD said...
on May. 17 2012 at 3:50 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
The thing about philosophy is that it often runs dry when thought of so shallowly.

View profile
That's the opposite of what I recommended. I meant that there should be no rhyme in the first paragraph. It throws the reader off.
Lacer GOLD said...
on May. 17 2012 at 3:50 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
The thing about philosophy is that it often runs dry when thought of so shallowly.

View profile
That's the opposite of what I recommended. I meant that there should be no rhyme in the first paragraph. It throws the reader off.
Lacer GOLD said...
on May. 17 2012 at 3:49 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
The thing about philosophy is that it often runs dry when thought of so shallowly.

View profile
That's the opposite of what I was recommending, I suggested that she alter the first paragraph so that there is no rhyming or anything looking like a rhyme, otherwise readers will expect all of it to rhyme, and then it won't belong in free verse, as I think it does.
MayaBCherry SILVER said...
on May. 17 2012 at 2:07 pm
MayaBCherry SILVER, Cupertino, California
6 articles 5 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.&quot;<br /> - Ralph Waldo Emerson

View profile
Agreed. An open-ended question is definitely a great ending to a poem :).
MayaBCherry SILVER said...
on May. 17 2012 at 2:05 pm
MayaBCherry SILVER, Cupertino, California
6 articles 5 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.&quot;<br /> - Ralph Waldo Emerson

View profile

I like this poem - it's a wonderful start! I wouldn't have guessed it's your first :).

I'd recommend that if you want to to improve it, you can change it so that the lines rhyme. Then it'll be more catchy :).

MayaBCherry SILVER said...
on May. 17 2012 at 2:04 pm
MayaBCherry SILVER, Cupertino, California
6 articles 5 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.&quot;<br /> - Ralph Waldo Emerson

View profile
I agree about the first part, that we think it will rhyme, but it doesn't...maybe you should start off with a catchy rhyme that readers will remember.
Naturally_Talented SILVER said...
on May. 16 2012 at 10:11 am
Naturally_Talented SILVER, Bogota, New Jersey
8 articles 2 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
The supernatural is the natural not yet understood.

View profile
Nice poem not bad for your first you should keep at it and make them even better
Lacer GOLD said...
on May. 15 2012 at 9:19 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
The thing about philosophy is that it often runs dry when thought of so shallowly.

View profile
I like the message, and I understand free-verse poetry, but the first paragraph is soooo close to rhyming, that it throws the reader off when they get to the second paragraph. I know that's a knit-pick, but its important that when you make a first impression on your readers, you generally keep things in that original format, unless there's a metaphorical  twist, but it is a good poem. I just don't know what it's about, but I assume its about owning up to a crush, from some kind of slanted coming-of-age perspective? 
fatima9797 BRONZE said...
on May. 15 2012 at 8:10 pm
fatima9797 BRONZE, Caldwell, Idaho
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
If there&#039;s a book you really want to read but it hasn&#039;t been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison

View profile
This is super good! You should totally write more poetry!
madlinejoy SILVER said...
on May. 14 2012 at 9:16 pm
madlinejoy SILVER, Deale, Maryland
5 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
let go and let God<br /> &quot;Love is not an emotion but a choice&quot;

View profile
it was very good danny
DanielM SILVER said...
on May. 14 2012 at 6:00 pm
DanielM SILVER, Kent, Washington
6 articles 1 photo 245 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would rather hated million times for what i did then loved a million times for what i didn&#039;t do.&quot; - Daniel Moto<br /> &quot; I&#039;ve sought out to be the best i could posibly be but when i hit a roadblock in life what did i do, i had two choices either stay at the roadblock or i take this roadblock and make of it and go around it and achieve my goal. So, what will it be?&quot;- Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &quot;People take love like its a four letter word or just a phrase that you tell people or your friends all the time. But in reality love is much bigger than a merely phrase or 4 letter word. Instead love is a genuine promise or covenant to that special person.&quot;-Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;Why change yourself when you were made perfect and wonderfully by the creator of everything?&rdquo; &ndash; Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;If live is not hurtin then were really not living in.&rdquo; &ndash; B. Reith

View profile
thank you...
DanielM SILVER said...
on May. 14 2012 at 5:58 pm
DanielM SILVER, Kent, Washington
6 articles 1 photo 245 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would rather hated million times for what i did then loved a million times for what i didn&#039;t do.&quot; - Daniel Moto<br /> &quot; I&#039;ve sought out to be the best i could posibly be but when i hit a roadblock in life what did i do, i had two choices either stay at the roadblock or i take this roadblock and make of it and go around it and achieve my goal. So, what will it be?&quot;- Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &quot;People take love like its a four letter word or just a phrase that you tell people or your friends all the time. But in reality love is much bigger than a merely phrase or 4 letter word. Instead love is a genuine promise or covenant to that special person.&quot;-Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;Why change yourself when you were made perfect and wonderfully by the creator of everything?&rdquo; &ndash; Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;If live is not hurtin then were really not living in.&rdquo; &ndash; B. Reith

View profile
i didn't either... thank you so much FWIN... right back at your a good writer and a good poet also.
InfinityandBeyond01 BRONZE said...
on May. 14 2012 at 5:48 pm
InfinityandBeyond01 BRONZE, N/a, California
4 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stay Strong! &lt;3

View profile
I knew were a such a good writer at storys but I never knew you could write such great poems as well. Good job fwin!:)
DanielM SILVER said...
on May. 14 2012 at 5:00 pm
DanielM SILVER, Kent, Washington
6 articles 1 photo 245 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would rather hated million times for what i did then loved a million times for what i didn&#039;t do.&quot; - Daniel Moto<br /> &quot; I&#039;ve sought out to be the best i could posibly be but when i hit a roadblock in life what did i do, i had two choices either stay at the roadblock or i take this roadblock and make of it and go around it and achieve my goal. So, what will it be?&quot;- Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &quot;People take love like its a four letter word or just a phrase that you tell people or your friends all the time. But in reality love is much bigger than a merely phrase or 4 letter word. Instead love is a genuine promise or covenant to that special person.&quot;-Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;Why change yourself when you were made perfect and wonderfully by the creator of everything?&rdquo; &ndash; Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;If live is not hurtin then were really not living in.&rdquo; &ndash; B. Reith

View profile
Thank you.....
Ashleyy1213 GOLD said...
on May. 13 2012 at 7:52 pm
Ashleyy1213 GOLD, CHICAGO, Illinois
17 articles 1 photo 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is the art of drawling, without an eraser.

View profile
i like it a lot. nice job my dude.
DanielM SILVER said...
on May. 13 2012 at 1:03 am
DanielM SILVER, Kent, Washington
6 articles 1 photo 245 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would rather hated million times for what i did then loved a million times for what i didn&#039;t do.&quot; - Daniel Moto<br /> &quot; I&#039;ve sought out to be the best i could posibly be but when i hit a roadblock in life what did i do, i had two choices either stay at the roadblock or i take this roadblock and make of it and go around it and achieve my goal. So, what will it be?&quot;- Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &quot;People take love like its a four letter word or just a phrase that you tell people or your friends all the time. But in reality love is much bigger than a merely phrase or 4 letter word. Instead love is a genuine promise or covenant to that special person.&quot;-Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;Why change yourself when you were made perfect and wonderfully by the creator of everything?&rdquo; &ndash; Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;If live is not hurtin then were really not living in.&rdquo; &ndash; B. Reith

View profile
thank you that means a lot. i'll think about doing that.
Floyd7888 SILVER said...
on May. 13 2012 at 12:10 am
Floyd7888 SILVER, Pleasant Grove, Utah
6 articles 0 photos 9 comments
View profile

I really liked it! You sould consider writting more poems, you're good at it.