There was this guy Bart that I met in Prague,
Told me his girlfriend lived down in a bog,
“She’s big and green with long yellow fangs,
And seaweed hangs off of her head like green bangs.”
The first time I met her she bit off my hand,
And spit it out next to me into the sand.
When I saw her next, this guy Bart he said,
“If she bits you again I’ll cut off her head.”
Well this time she bit off my leg, and she even ate Bart,
That’s when I decided that I had to start,
Thinking of ways to get rid of this creature,
So I hobbled to town to talk to the preacher.
“It’s love that it needs!” he beamed at me,
“Just show it love, and then you’ll see,”
So to the bog I went, with love to share,
Bart’s girlfriend came out, greeted me with a stare.
I shouted “I came to share with you love!”
and offered her the preacher’s precious white dove.
Well she grabbed up the dove, and broke it in two,
Then smiled at me, and said “Now on to you!”
I turned to run as fast as I could,
But was bitten in half like an old piece of wood.
My final thought before I had died,
Was that love had solved nothing, the preacher had lied.