some nights the streets are just brighter. in the glow off the lines and water as it falls to match my own and the way my Nikes send it crashing away. and the way your lighter sparks and the way the streelight turns black solid into a river of forgetfullness where you can escape from the mess of our life none of us want to face. and you feel the earth breathe underneath you. and you know that somewhere, somehow something good came into the world. and it's better than me.

some days the sun is just darker. and you can feel because somewhere deep inside you beneath the layers of leather, silk and denim, the symbols and names that mean nothing to anyone, the facades we put up to everyone even our closest friends of a joker and a fighter and a saint and a rebel and a perfectionist and a 4.0, beneath it all you feel the pain. and you feel the earth weep underneath you. and you know something evil cursed its way into existence. and it's better than me.

some shades of gray where time is irrelevant and the world is enclosed to a single pinpoint of catostrophic grief. and i walk to a graveyard and look for a stone that never existed. because i miss you so much and the world cursed you and chose me instead. i was the one who carried on and you never we're given the chance to fight for yourself. and i feel the earth regret underneath me. and i know it wished it could reverse the decision. because you would have been so much better than me.