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Watching for Daddy
May 4, 2013
I sit beside this piece of glass
wondering where you are.
Day or night, I never move,
wishing upon the stars.
I watch the children play outside,
each one with a smile on their heart.
I watch them scream and giggle;
their minds not forced to depart.
I watch the laughter boom like thunder,
and the happiness fall like rain.
I wish it would just drown me,
and wash away my pain.
I never leave this spot,
by my trusty window-sill.
I don’t believe mom’s words,
“Daddy’s gone still”
I remember what you used to tell me,
“always hold your head up high”
But my heart sinks a little lower
With each car that passes by.
I’ve wasted my whole childhood,
watching out this window.
All these years staring passed a tree,
Have turned me a crack willow.
When will these symptoms pass?
When will this disease be cured?
Whenever your presence is restored,
my joy will be secured.
You’ve been missing from my life
ever since the twins tumbled.
If you don’t show up soon,
my heart is sure to fumble.
© Hannah S., Avondale, AZ
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This article has 15 comments.
bruisedmemories ELITE said...
on Jun. 24 2013 at 11:28 am
This poem is....PERFECT. It has a beautiful tone and its topic is so strong. The rhyming of it is really good and the whole thing is just amazing. Im happy I've came upon your page and have had the opertunity to read it. Please, NEVER stop writing! Good job!!! xx
crayola_green BRONZE said...
on Jun. 9 2013 at 11:59 pm
Your childlike voice and the glass barrier work really well in this poem. I kind of want to just reach out to her and tell her that it's okay. This is a wonderful piece of poetry :)
Your tone in this peice is verry evident and so pure and sad, the likes of which you can only find in a child. You did an amazing job on this in the way that you convey the emotions and it is verry easy for your readers to step into the poem and feel the emotions. Great job :) i really like this.
kikixkupkake GOLD said...
on May. 25 2013 at 12:20 pm
This ^ I agree with
kikixkupkake GOLD said...
on May. 25 2013 at 12:19 pm
This poem is gorgeous, honestly. It has such an innocent, pure tone that speaks to someone, not trough the computer screen, but through its soul. The core of the poem is so sad, so lonely, I almost want to click out the site and be done, but with each word I get more excited for the next. With so much suspense, will her father return!? But as the poem is pulled to a conclusion, I feel dumbfounded and regretful. I want this poem to continue, I love it. Great work, honestly.
poeticKeiondra BRONZE said...
on May. 22 2013 at 4:08 pm
I love this its just so strong. And it is not hard to figure out whats going on. This is really good. I am new to this and your poem this poem is my favorite and will stay there!!! Excellent Job
OldYoungOne said...
on May. 22 2013 at 3:03 pm
The emotion is stiking in a way but it circles around you and rubs against your skin like a carress when you read this. You've captured the essence of what children feel without of father. I know thousands of people who feel this and I commend you for that. I also like the way you mix frankness and figurative language to make this poem amzing. I liek your style kid.
OlveraJorge1 said...
on May. 17 2013 at 2:12 pm
"When will these symptoms pass? When will this disease be cured? Whenever your presence is restored, my joy will be secured" That totally locked in the emotion of this piece (To me) This piece is beautifull in an abstract way. Ofcourse this isnt the most cheery of works but still it deserves a respect not found in other kind of poetry. I enjoyed this and expect more great words from you!
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 17 2013 at 1:45 pm
This is for sure one of the best poems I have read on Teen Ink. You are a very talented writter. I can't wait to read more of your stuff.
LexusMarie PLATINUM said...
on May. 17 2013 at 12:22 am
Hey there! WOW! I love this so much. The whole thing felt very, very sincere and honest. It was really beautiful to read and I enjoyed it very much. I like the title, the perspective it sets up for the reader, open and mysterious. I thought the picture fit very well with this. I love the rhymes, they are very good and I like how it stops rhyming in the end of the poem. That was smart and I really like that. You put some great descriptions in here which are very clear and vivid for the reader. I loved the emotion in here, magnificent! You are a really wonderful writer who puts a lot of thought into your work. I really truly love this and I am very impressed. Great job!
CamillaJ said...
on May. 16 2013 at 7:10 pm
This is really sad but super good! This is one of my favorites. I am confused though, what is a crack willow?
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