Wal-Mart;
Majesty of grey and blue
Wal-Mart;
Over all of us you rule
Wal-Mart;
Gleaming white lights
Like a magic ray of sun
After this trip to Wal-mart
Our paycheck is done
Wal-mart
Catacombs filled with goods
Generic products hiding
Beneath more expensive foods
But, at Wal-mart
You can find anything
Their shelves pour with bounties of stuff
Your heart will surely sing
Smiley face pins
Like badges upon the workers’ chests
At Wal-mart
They don’t even bind them to blue vests
At Wal-mart
Magic gleams around every corner
Children are mesmerized by lobster tanks;
Their mothers in the next aisle
They could be kidnapped by a guy named Frank
But at Wal-mart
You can try all the cameras out
You can even organize their CDs
If you know what I’m talking about
Or, at Wal-mart
You can play some good hide-and-go-seek
Or perhaps scare away little kids
As you skip through the aisles shouting “Wheee!”
For at dear Wal-mart
You’ll never be left in dismay
Though there are no more free cookies
You can eat popcorn chicken before you pay
So let us unite, my south of eighty brethren!
To this warm, loving spectacle we’ll go!
For although there are no more small businesses
Wal-mart holds us in it’s closest care
Why, without Wal-mart
My own life would surely be bare