I’m pressing send,
My blood runs cold.
The mail is going, sending.
You’re getting my deepest meaning.
All the while I sit and stare, wondering what you are thinking.
Just in case it’s too hard to explain, here is what I said:

Anytime is the right time for you,
Anytime is cool.
Just come by and question,
and if I refuse?
I don’t see you for days,
nigh hear your comforting words.
And all the while, I’m thinking: “This is what I deserve?”
For telling you I’m waiting, until the time is right?
For telling you I’m just not ready, ready to take flight?
What about the morals we were taught in school?
It would sure be a waste of teaching, my not listening.
Is this what I deserve from you?
No words for days on end?
Only to hear from that kid,
(the one who works at Wall-mart-
You had math with him two years back)
to hear about that girl,
Pretty as a flower,
Willing to let down her morals.
That boy, he whistled loud and clear,
at the very thought of her curves;
and I told him that he heard something spun out of the blue.
But apparently (he shook his head) what he said was true.
Becca who works in the mall,
she heard from Josh the football linebacker-
who heard from his next-door- neighbor,
who heard about you from the girl herself (the one that gave herself up to you).
Honestly, I was quite baffled.
A little hurt and I accused,
of all people,
You.

So to tell you the truth I saw you,
just a little past ten that night.
You were with her in your bedroom.
You left the light on, I knew.

I cried for hours in your truck-
you always leave it unlocked.
Maybe I was crazy for coming,
a little feather-brained for staying,
but I couldn’t just drive off.
So this was what I deserve?
You, bold and brave,
knocking up some other chick,
who can’t go to college,
or complete high school?
Her son would be too neglected.
That’s the girl you took,
That’s the choice you made.

This is what I deserve?
And then a day passes,
I check my e-mail,
only to find this forward.
Showing me pictures of you again,
at the beach in the sand,
with yet a different girl.
One who could be my mother.
But she’s easy, so why bother with age?

So this is what I deserve?
This e-mail telling me your hate?
This is what I get?
No, this is what you don’t get.
This was your last chance.
This is something that broke me.
I kept what was mine,
I wasn’t ready.
It wasn’t the right time.
You got what was yours,
I suppose you don’t care.

I can’t go on seeing you,
that’s simply not in my field of view.
Thanks for all the heart-ache.
You really helped me see.
Good-bye forever.
Tell your next girl I said “Hey!”