Need Love? | Teen Ink

Need Love?

December 31, 2008
By carijoy SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
carijoy SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
8 articles 24 photos 51 comments

See it but never feel it.
Get close, only to push it away.
“Don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone”
Epitome of my life.
What is wrong with me?
What makes me so un-lovable?
Can someone remove this defective sign from my forehead,
And replace it with a kiss.
I want more than mediocre.
I want someone to miss.
Do I ask for too much?
Are my requirements unachievable?
My heart remains unconquered, unattained.
I’m tired of fairy tale endings,
Silly thoughts put in my head by unrealistic, but hopelessly believable movies.
They are all the same.
Girl meets boy. Girl messes it up. Boy forgives girl.
Happily Ever After.
At least they let on that relationships have problems.
I want raw, unrelenting love.
The real deal.
No movie, novel, or episode of “Sex and the City” could ever touch.
Left alone, drowning in thoughts,
Who else in the world could need love,
Like I need love?



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This article has 884 comments.


Brooke M. said...
on May. 3 2009 at 1:22 am
your poem is really good

fisherj BRONZE said...
on May. 2 2009 at 9:43 pm
fisherj BRONZE, Hickory, North Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 10 comments
I think the poem begins well, the opening several lines set a nice tone. The voice is strong and develops nicely with the lines that are not rhetorical questions. The last line works with the poem and adds to it, but the other questions spread throughout detract from the flow and diminish the authors voice. I think that those lines could be left in substance, if only they were rewritten in a way that allowed them to work toward a more cohesive whole. Even if you feel it is important that the point of view is not so confident, there are other, more effective, ways to go about establishing that. This poem has great potential.

nordicskiier said...
on May. 2 2009 at 5:20 pm
When reading this poem, I felt like I had written it...(only I can't write as well...), but the line:



Can someone remove this defective sign from my forehead,

And replace it with a kiss.

I want more than mediocre



were amazing....and they were me.

Well done.

on May. 2 2009 at 4:35 pm
daisydee123 SILVER, Gotham City, Illinois
5 articles 19 photos 66 comments
very good very realistic

Jaquie BRONZE said...
on May. 2 2009 at 2:22 pm
Jaquie BRONZE, West Palm Beach, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 407 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is certainly one of my favorites: "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes." -2 Samuel 6:22

I find it amusing how people reacted so strongly to this. I'm confused by why I myself did.

God Bless,

...,

on May. 2 2009 at 5:15 am
musiclover71 ELITE, Hutto, Texas
107 articles 24 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Normal is overrated." - Gregory House

AMAZING! i feel the same way

on May. 2 2009 at 2:57 am
-xlimitless239x- GOLD, Vanceboro, North Carolina
10 articles 0 photos 30 comments
forget KICK3593. he doesn't know what he is talking about. your poem rocked. keep 'em comin'. i luv your poem style. good lines. don't let anyone put you down. they're just trying to degrade you. keep your head up, and keep those poems coming!

Ookami DIAMOND said...
on May. 1 2009 at 6:27 pm
Ookami DIAMOND, Kiansas City, Missouri
50 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't give up! Keep on going! Till victory is won!!!

Your writing is good and creative you are a very impossitive thinker and i know you dream of the future but regret the past.... so i feel i must say keep dreaming but forgive and forget the past..... live free and conquer your regrets....

on May. 1 2009 at 1:55 am
Dean Hicks BRONZE, Austin, Texas
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
Excellent poem. It's amazing how so many people can feel the same way you do and yet nothing ever seems to be done about it. I guess we just have to get out there and make it happen. Good job, and please check out my own poem, Palmer's Peak. I would appreciate your input on it.

on Apr. 29 2009 at 6:03 pm
KICK3593 PLATINUM, Roslyn Heights, New York
49 articles 0 photos 74 comments
Turthfully now, is the sob sotry aspect so necessary?

Julie S BRONZE said...
on Apr. 29 2009 at 5:02 am
Julie S BRONZE, Perdido, Florida
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
this was really good.

on Apr. 28 2009 at 10:41 pm
MysteriousLily93 BRONZE, Edison, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Very down to earth poem. i like it:) please check out Ceged Goddess, my own poem.

on Apr. 28 2009 at 4:10 pm
StrawberryPocky, San Jose, California
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
story of my life! loved it.

Catlady SILVER said...
on Apr. 27 2009 at 7:21 pm
Catlady SILVER, Tulsa, Oklahoma
6 articles 0 photos 14 comments
Dude that how I feel! I'm in a world of couple and I'm single.

Ruthey GOLD said...
on Apr. 27 2009 at 7:21 pm
Ruthey GOLD, West Midlands, Other
16 articles 0 photos 19 comments
usuallyandante, i agree with you 110 %!!!! i'm glad someone finally said it!!! weren't you the one who wrote the tangerine poem? i love that one. get down there and read his tangerine poem right now because its amazing. so original. like, 30 great lines about a tangerine.

i just want to say, get some fresh inspiration people!! you're talented, use it. you definitely have a way with words, though, well done. the only thing i don't like about this poem is the subject matter.

on Apr. 27 2009 at 4:54 pm
KellyAnne BRONZE, Oxnard, California
4 articles 2 photos 1 comment
I love this poem

it expresses feeling and emotion

and you make it feel like the reader can feel the way you do

very nice

on Apr. 27 2009 at 12:21 pm
You gave me goosebumps.

on Apr. 27 2009 at 2:44 am
usuallyandante BRONZE, Great Neck, New York
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i like it but i feel like it's the same thing over and over and over again

i'm sorry but it misses originality. structure wise, it's great. but i really hunger (actually, starving) for some good, original poetry, hopefully not about unachievable love or suicide. but that's just what i think.

on Apr. 27 2009 at 2:26 am
Miranda Myers BRONZE, Colleyville, Texas
1 article 0 photos 5 comments
WOW loved it!

on Apr. 26 2009 at 11:42 pm
Lost-In-Life GOLD, Whitby, Other
11 articles 0 photos 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's never to late, if it weren't for the last minute many things would never get done!

totally true i feel the same way sometimes.

not only that but you have an awesome talent keep writing!