Only him that i love, 

could possibly understand my anger

only him that i love,

knows my intentions

only him that i love,

can make me commit 

to a love so hurtful its ruining me

this love is 

crazy, loud, different

abusive,controlling,pure hate

this love is,

the reason i feel alive,

the reason i breathe,

the reason for all my actions.

He is the living nightmere,

im terrified, he has this power

a way with words, i cant escape.

his words wrap around my lungs, squeezing tight

they grab ahold of me.

throwing me to the ground, his words are digging my grave,

im dying to breathe 

a breath of clean crisp air.

Something new,

something i dont know yet 

is what i want. i need to be open,

open to a new love, a new life, a new me.

deciding this for me is so hard,

harder than a hard cover book.

him is all that i know,

but these words that flow from his mouth

"i cant see you, we cant hang out, you piss me off,

i might hit you, then id get locked up"

those are the words he spoke that put me through the roof.

There are no excuses for a man like that,

a man who needs to hurt you is not really a man,

because a man will control himself.