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Demon of Death
A shudder ran through the trees. The wind howled a peculiar howl
as the moon slinked above. A shadow crept through the streets,
extinguishing light from the world.
It swept through the grass, its dark, red eyes searching for a new prey,
Viciously had it devoured the first, ignoring screams of pain and agony.
The maker of ruin, it destroys lives of all, choosing
who shall survive, and who shall fall.
I knew it was my turn, all others having been struck. I waited uneasily
for what I was sure would come.
Yet better me than any other; I won't suffer of longing. I won't miss and cry,
wallowing in tears of disbelief.
No, it was better this way. Up the porch it came, the steps cracking
under its foot. Up the steps, that creature came, and moans from the bottom
I heard. Alas, thought I, for surely another had heard.
A door creaked open. And I saw the eyes, so deep and menacing that
I froze with fright. And as it came upon me, I recognized it for what it was;
I had looked into the eyes of the demon of death.
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This article has 30 comments.
who shall survive, and who shall fall." I especially enjoyed that line.)
However, it is definitely different, and it is actually not my favorite, either.
i think you're sticking too much to an archaic style, with the rhyme and language, and you don't fill it out naturally.
i think i can't really hear your voice in this, i feel as though i can only hear you being restricted and trying to fit into someone else's mould.
basically, i think it's great that you've experimented with different styles, but this just isn't you.
let your real voice out!
Thanks guys for all your comments. they mean so much to me! :D
You have perfected imagery with this poem and it's so suspencesful! This is truly amazing.
Also thanks for all the comments on my photos!
