it’s something that shouldn’t matter

doesn’t matter

that’s what you tell yourself every day

as you tamp down the feelings

Stop this

as your skin crawls every time you hear your name

every time you have to dress up for a formal event

every time you look in the mirror

I hate you

the goal is to ignore

to take action is to acknowledge the fact that something must be done

this will go away tomorrow

but technically

tomorrow never comes

What’s wrong with me

you feel trapped

how cliche

surrounding yourself with “close” friends

none of whom really know you

Someone help me

but do you even know you?

searching for answers

within you, within others

but the only solution is one you cannot accept

Who am I

if you can’t accept yourself, how

will others?

there's a burning sensation eating at the core of your soul

you want to rip off the covers of your heart and wring your body until all sensation is lost

Why am I like this

most of the time, it catches you off guard

you are riding a wave of avoidance until

bam

you’re swept off your feet and beaten down by a thousand blows

simply from the stark realization of how the world perceives you

I can’t go on

you can’t go on like this

but starting a journey now seems insurmountable and

you don’t remember what it was like to care for yourself

Please

so you tamp down the feelings

hide who you really are

and day by day

suffer in the body of someone else