There is a fantasy world. 

In which I love you

After you've hurt me. 

In this world, every bruise you give me I brush off and go about my day like nothing happened. 

And in this world my mother doesn't think i'm crazy for staying with you. 

In this fantasy, our child isn't scared to come home

And your shoes dont smell like liquor when you kick me

Night 

After night. 

But notice how I say fantasy. 

Make believe, not real, fake, a lie in and of itself. 

Because this will never happen. 

In this reality, my baby won't quiver at the raising of your hand. 

In this reality, I will never love you. 

In this reality, you will never again touch me like you did the day we met. 

And these are all the reasons

That you are 

Dead to me.